Does this sound like a gay man to you?

I would suspect yes. How old is he? I say “I would suspect yes” but then I remind myself not to judge a book by its cover, and I remind myself not to, so I am reminding myself not to now.

I wonder if people are not answering because they’re afraid of getting “jumped on” by others.

Don’t think it’s fair to assume that because he’s not falling into heteronormative behaviors and embracing things that are typically ascribed as feminine to mean he’s gay. He could just be very comfortable in his identity, and/or he could be asexual.

In the end, does it matter?

Ask him.

Perhaps.

He very well could be gay. I can’t say for sure since I don’t know him personally.

Most likely, not necessarily.

The only way to figure out is to ask him.

Is there any reason not to ask him? Are you afraid of insulting him? Afraid he might not trust you enough to tell you the truth?

Do you know anything about his personal relationships or friends? Do you know where he lives? I’m sure there are many ways of making a case before you take the step of asking him. Then again, maybe it doesn’t matter.

Sure, those things sound like it is possible he is gay. But they aren’t an open and shut case on their own.

Without knowing or asking him it’s just a guess… but my guess would be “probably”.

He sounds very stylish and interesting. I’d say yes he does. Because there is something rather cliche about it all. But I would never be sure until he told me so.

Does it matter?

This is an internet friend, right? So this means that you haven’t met him in person or have visited his house? Is it possible that he lives with someone else that does the decorating, and he just doesn’t care?

I have a couple of close friends whose gender I still don’t know. Every time I think about asking, I cannot come up with a good reason to do so, other than out of personal curiosity and possibly fixing them up with an appropriate partner. As for the latter, I realize that if they truly want one, they will either find one on their own or ask.

When it comes to a person’s gender and relationships, I have learned to realize that this is not a subject that is any of my business unless shared by that person. That includes speculating about it with others, even if I think there is nothing wrong with it. This sentiment isn’t to condone what you are asking, as I understand the reason.

It took me several years of having a handful of friends of unknown gender to work through getting over this type of curiosity. In the end, I realized that their role in my life was more important than discovering what felt like a secret. It is their story to tell when they feel that the time is right.

A popular stereotypical one maybe.

I dated a guy who was obsessed with Disney princesses and painted his house interiors to match his favorite princess posters. He also loved gardening with a big floppy hat on in his backyard. He was an amateur acrobat and went to trapeze classes and would do all these flashy hand gestures he learned.

He was the gayest straight guy that ever lived. We broke up because he cheated on me. He said he wanted to know if her boobs were as big as they looked under her sweater—and they WERE, by golly! My only surprise was that he cheated on me with a GIRL. Everyone else I knew was surprised too.

@keobooks, please write and make enough money to hire someone to clean your house.
@keobooks gives a perfect example of some important life lesson I’m sure we are all suppose to take away from this thread. If I ever stop laughing, I’m going to find out what that lesson is.

Great answers! Does it matter? Not really; I’m just curious . I would never think of asking him such a question! I simply wondered if my hunches were right and it looks like they were. There are many photos of him with different people but one guy shows up several times . When others said, “I can see a lot of respect between the two of you in this pic” all he did was “Like” the remark. He did not identify the man like he did with dozens of other pics of him with semi famous people. He drives some sort of convertible with the top down ,,posted the pic of the car and three of his home and even his childhood home. I cannot express how cool and nice this guy is! I’m married; he’s just an online friend along with his other 1,100 online friends!!
Thanks so much for being tolerant of my question, too. Hugs.

The bottom line up front is: If he likes boys more than girls then he is gay. He may like neither and be asexual.

The information that you wrote about the man is inconclusive to make any sexual orientation determination. People called me gay when I lived in San Francisco alone without a girl friend in a house that I bought. I was too busy working more than full time while taking classes at SF State Uni. to have any kind of social life at the time. Also I kept my hair short, wore a short mustache and usually wore a leather motorcycle jacket as I owned a Honda Hawk 400 motorcycle. I was young and had good looks back then and lots of gay guys would ask me out. I was always kind to them when I said “no way”. I even wore a little pin that said “I like girls” to no avail. Most people convinced themselves that I was gay even when I told them otherwise. I met my wife while in S.F. and we are still happily married after 21 ½ years.

“He is a wonderful , caring, thoughtful gentleman.”

Most likely gay,

If indeed he is, what then? Will your relationship with him and his other 1099 friends change?

The fake flowers are throwing me . . .

I suppose one might suspect as much, since most men don’t typically have pink furniture all over…then again, that’s stereotype, and I’m pretty sure that a lot of gay men don’t have pink stuff everywhere, either. I don’t think you can tell just by that.

My dad: Worships Barbra Steisand and adores Broadway musicals. Dresses well. Owns a flowered bedspread and a nicely decorated home. Is a Longaberger basket salesperson. Has an effeminate voice and mannerisms. Got married again a few years ago… to a woman. Is your friend gay? Maybe. Maybe not.

+1 Most likely gay

“His house has a lot of pink artificial flower arrangements inside and out.”

I would say yes. I actively know 25 gay men in my life.
(I’m merely guessing, I’m not saying this is a definitive yes) Anywho, why not ask him who’s the last person he’s dated or who he might be interested in? I’m sure you’ll get your answer.

So very gay.
As is Augustlan’s dad, apparently…~

Unless you’re going to have a sexual or romantic relationship with him, it’s not really anyone’s business, including yours, whether he’s gay or not.

That said, unless you’re with Mary Kay or you’re deliberately trying to establish some sort of retro 50’s theme for your home, pink is not something a single straight male generally chooses for their home (it’s not something a lot of gay men would pick either…).

You’ll have to get to know him better to know. Meanwhile, continue to enjoy who he is, whatever. Sounds like you are.

My husband likes Glee, @auggie said he’s gay. :-)

@Aster, there is no way to know apart from asking him. Quentin Crisp said “Some toughs are really queer, and some queers are really tough”. Appearances can be totally deceiving.

What @Bellatrix said.

And if this weren’t in General I would totally post this video about the difference between sexual preference and gender expression, as explained by a straight comedian!

I’d say it’s nearly impossible to determine if someone is gay based on their aesthetic preferences.

@augustlan Your dad worships Barbra Streisand and adores Broadway musicals?! If he hadn’t already remarried I’d tell you to give him my number!!!!

Thankfully my boyfriend does appreciate Barbra Streisand (not to the same extent as I do which could easily be verging on obsession) but only tolerates musicals because I love them so much!

In answer to your question @Aster I would probably assume he was gay. It’s a stereotype and I try not to judge a book by it’s cover but I don’t think we can be blamed for assuming certain things about people based on the information you are given. Stereotypes start for a reason after all. It’s human nature and, providing we never use that judment against someone what does it matter?

Gay or straight or bi, who cares? It is the artificial flowers, no matter what color, both in and outside, that would bring out my latent prejudices.

@gailcalled I DO NOT ‘CARE.’ I WAS SIMPLY CURIOUS WHAT YOU ALL THOUGHT. No matter what question you put to fluther, I would not say , “who cares?” That is unhelpful and beneath fluther. It reduces our usefulness.
He just posted tonight that he was a drama major in high school. Thank you again.

What is your fascination with this man? “He was a drama major in high school” tells you what?

If he hasn’t mentioned that he’s gay and you must know I’d leave it at that until your better friends because he doesn’t think it’s important to mention it.
Regarding his flamboyant taste, he might just have had parents who encouraged him to healthily express his feminine or artistic side but I’m sure if your friendship progresses you will pick up clues. Whatever his sex, he sounds a lovely guy and a lot of fun which is the most important thing and what he wants to share with everyone.