If your significant other cut you off indefinitely, how long would you stay [mildly NSFW]?

Assuming your parameters-tomorrow.
If there is no physical problem, medical problem or something beyond their control, everything else represents too much baggage.
I understand that people have baggage. I guess we all do.
But it is one thing to carry your own, and another all together to expect somebody else to carry it for you.
Life is to short too have to be a psychologist if you are not trained to be one.

I would try to work it out or talk it out with my partner. Perhaps even suggest counseling. If they weren’t receptive to working it out, I would leave soonish.

…not to be hateful, but I don’t mean to be too prescriptive with this Q

I don’t play games. If there is a reason, I’ll work with her. If it’s a power game, I’m done immediately. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

how long would you work with her?

Hmm… well, I would probably wait a lot longer for ‘some personal (non-physical) trauma of some kind’ than for ‘lack of interest or emotional detachment’. But how long? I don’t know.

@serenade It would depend on her effort. If she is willing to try, I’ll work a long time.

All relationships go through phases and a low sexual phase is normal at times, but…if your partner has no desire pun intended to tackle the issue and it’s a deal breaker for you, well….time to move on. OTOH if YOU have an incredibly high sex drive and/or any issues with addictive or compulsive sexuality, well…that’s a whole ‘nother “ball” game. lol
I find it “hard” to imagine that a woman would just cut off her partner in a loving relationship unless that partner is not telling the whole story.

If there are other issues in your relationship, if you have done anything to hurt her emotionally or have been unfaithful in any way, well….have you somehow made your own bed here?

@Columa, you make a lot of assumptions, which is fine, but I just want to point them out as such. What relationship of any depth doesn’t engender emotional hurt at some point?

The question is, however, what is your limit?

When you say “indefinitely,” do you mean that the partner foresees an end to the drought but doesn’t know when it will be, or that the partner does not foresee there being a time when sex will recommence? The answer to that question might affect some people’s responses.

In any case, I would stay with my partner for as long as the other parts of the relationship that kept us together lasted. It is incumbent upon the partner who is withholding sex, however, to understand that the partner from whom sex is being withheld must be allowed to find sex elsewhere in the meantime.

Working it out together would be my first choice. Even if ‘working it out’ meant never having sex with my partner again, so long as he would allow me to seek physical fulfillment elsewhere. If working it out wasn’t an option, a lot of other factors would come into play in determining how long I’d be willing to live with it. Sex isn’t all the important to me, so I could live without it for a good long time, if everything else was good.

@serenade The question is, if you have hurt her emotionally what is HER limit?
I made no assumptions, I posed a valid inquiry. There are two sides to every story, we are only getting one, sooo, digging for a little more detail seems prudent to me.
Have you or have you not contributed to this problem in some way that would make her lack of interest more understandable?

“Oh well, I did sleep with her sister last year…” haha

I had this happen to me, actually, because a partner had a very low sex drive and had some serious baggage regarding men-folk. I should have left sooner, but I learned my lesson. It was a complicated situation because we were practicing polyamory, so for a while I was able to find some satisfaction elsewhere, and delay the inevitable. But physical intimacy with someone I love is very important to me, and even if the relationship had been going well emotionally, I don’t think I would have continued like that for much longer.

@Coloma This was asked as a hypothetical question, not a question about a real situation that @serenade is going through. At least, the OP does not say that it is a real situation. That is why you are being asked to answer the question rather than ask for personal details that can’t have any bearing on how you would deal with the situation.

@SavoirFaire Oh, well….still though, it is imposable to say without a bigger picture scenario, too many potential situations to give only one answer, such as 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years.

If it was a lost of interest only, and nothing worked and there is no medical cause except that they didn’t want me than I would assume he was getting it somewhere else. So it wouldn’t be long.
Now if it was because of some trauma then in all likely-hood I would also be traumatized and stay with him till we could work it out. I would hope that I would be understanding and hang in even if it meant no sexual connection ever. I did marry for better or worse, and for good times and bad times. I don’t recall my vows saying do you take him till it becomes too difficult.
Knowing the type of person I am, I believe I would stay no matter what, unless like I said it was that he no longer loved me. Then that is something totally different. I couldn’t stay with him knowing he didn’t love me.

okay, I’ll play… I had sex with her sister, mom, and daughter and filmed it and she found the tapes. She’s still here, but has cut me off indefinitely. So that’s her de facto limit. How long should I stay?

@serenade Does she have any other relatives? If I can get it in the family I might stay a little longer. :)

I went a few years with sex a few times a year before I couldn’t take it any more. I tried very very hard to figure out what was going on, but it wasn’t easy, and it turned out to be much more complicated (although not in any way you might guess) than I could have imagined.

Guys, I’m really kidding. I’m so so faithful. I’ve never cheated in my life.

@serenade Yeah, she busted you on her grand daddies farm in the sheep barn. Yep, deal breaker, baaaaaad, very, very, baaaaad! No more tail wagging for your little lamb. lolol

Not very long at all.

Yup. Sheep, chickens, pigs, cantaloupe. I’m a monster.

@serenade: With a melon?

LOL… Well, you have to microwave it, first.

”…cut you off indefinitely… ” I’m wondering why everyone assumes it to be sexual, relationships consist of a myriad of other aspects.

@Adagio The (NSFW) thing and the ‘sex’ tag were pretty big hints. ;)

@augustlan oh I see, perhaps I should look more closely, I hadn’t noticed either things : ^)

If there is no real reason except for a lack of interest, well, then there’s other problems and I’d be outta there very fast.