Would you divorce a spouse who got too fat for you AND refused to make adjustments?

Well..this question is subjective at best due to all potential preferences, however, I would say, for myself, that 30–50 lbs. would not be a deal breaker, but anything over moderately overweight and I could see it seriously dampening attraction. I would attempt to discuss, openly, my lack of attraction and hope that they would see the need to make some improvements.
I don’t think I would divorce someone over a moderate amount of weight, no.
Morbidly obese, yes.

If I were no longer sexually attracted to a person, then I would try to work on that with my partner. If, after years of working on it and failing to bring it back, I would consider divorce. But it would be about sexual attraction, not weight, per se. And sexual attraction has a lot to do with things other than the way someone looks.

Just stop having sex with the whale her and find gratification elsewhere. Buy a dog, or a pet goat.

I wouldn’t care, I’d see his heart. His mind. I mean it.

I would worry about his health though.

I agree with shippy in that the only reason why I would try and get them to make adjustments was because I was worried about things like potential heart problems or diabetes.

Apart from that they are still the same person inside that you married

I agree with the idea that the heart and mind is the most important part of sexual attraction. So I would have to say that 20–30 pounds, no problem. However if a person is extremely overweight it can’t help but impact their sexual performance. For one thing, they don’t have the stamina to go the distance. For another, a big belly gets in the way too much I would think. Sure you can adjust postiions and all but it would affect things sexually. That said, sexual satisfaction is only one component of a happy marriage. I would find it hard to leave someone I loved just because the sex wasn’t good. So I wouldn’t automatically say that I would divorce them for gaining weight. It would have to be other things as well that I was unhappy with.

A former friend of mine ruined his marriage by demanding his wife lose weight. She put on about 40lbs from when they started dating to about 8 months into their marriage, which was a span of about 4 years.
Personally, I would never consider it. My wife has put on weight (as I have) during our marriage, and she is constantly worried that I will stop loving her because of it (her first husband complained about her weight before having an affair that ended their relationship).

It would be a problem for me, but not because of the sex. I love being active and doing physical stuff. If I had to wait for someone, do stuff by myself because they were physically unable to do it, etc, just because they didn’t take care of themselves, it would bother me. It would mean to me they didn’t care about the relationship. If they become inactive for another reason, something they could not control like an injury, I’d be okay with it.

It would depend on the effect the weight gain had on our marriage. If it interfered with various aspects of our relationship and those things were beyond repair, then a divorce may happen. It would only be as a last resort though and not something that was jumped into.

I think the extreme weight gain would be indicative of other things going on. Like them giving up and not caring for their body any more which would bother me and as @Adirondackwannabe pointed out, I like to do a lot of active things as well. I just couldnt be with someone who’d rather sit around being lazy instead of going hiking in the mountains or something.

I have a friend whose husband said many times if she gained weight, he would divorce her. Now about 25 years into their marriage, he is fat and sloppy, she is still slender as ever. I ask her if she reminds him of this on occasion and she says no. She is a lot nicer than I am!!

But for me, love is a lot deeper than that. It would take more than that to make me stop loving someone, but I would probably give him a bit of a hard time about it now and again because of the health aspects.

I have always thought that often you can guesstimate the way a person will look when they are older by looking at their parents. The man I spoke of above, was handsome as a young man but so was his father and his father did not age well and neither is the son.

The weight gain rule should be tied to both partners, kg for kg. What’s good the goose, is good for the gander.

I, too, like to to be active. If there is a large weight gain I figure something is going on and should be corrected quickly. A small gain is easier to fix than a large one. .

I worked in a large office for may years. Over the years you could watch people gain weight and slow down – almost like they were giving up. There would also be interesting stand outs in the other direction: healthy weight loss.
When a man or women started to exercise, lose weight, and wear nicer clothes, you could bet there was a divorce looming on the horizon.

I’m a female in my early 40’s. If my husband got what I consider too fat and didn’t want to take better care of himself then I’d consider a few things:

Is my husband good in relationship otherwise? If yes then I don’t see how my attraction based on his looks could wane enough to want to divorce him. On the other hand, if my husband becomes a jerk then that’s enough to turn me off and consider divorce, the obesity would just be something more to dislike.

Having said that, I’ve spent a lot of years working in a business of mostly men, working with dozens of them day to day and most of them have said numerous times that their attraction to a woman wanes if her looks change for the worse, no matter how good the rest of the marriage relationship is. As for divorce though, most choose to cheat instead of incur the expense of a divorce. Sad, shallow and true.

No, you said til death do us part. There was no fat ass clause in that.

I personally would. Not just due to the lack of physical attraction, but if they aren’t willing to change for something that effects their life quite negatively in many respects, how can i be sure that they’d change something that effects me negatively?