Will you play the "Questions I ask myself" game?

So here’s the first question guys…

Why did I lose interest in seeing Clint Eastwood’s upcoming movie, “The Trouble with the Curve?”

Not knowing much about Clint Eastwood, baseball or cowboys, I have no idea. Didn’t seem that exciting, even though you really want it to, and deep inside, you know this? Just a wild guess. Could be pretty cool though. Impossible to answer for you without at least seeing the film, and even then. :/

Likewise, I just watched Braindead. I saw it years and years ago, but could only remember a few key scenes. Seeing how outrageous and gory it is, how come after all these years I barely retained any of it? Kung Fu priest, lawnmower, old lady eating her ear…that’s all I could remember. Yet, there are so many scenes in this I should have remembered. Why didn’t I?

Because they were all moving very quickly or you drank too much while watching it, or is really sucked and your mind could only wipe away so much without giving you amnesia
.
Why the hell do I always feel I have to stay up and look at one more question when I really want to go to bed?

Could it be because just like myself, I could easily get mesmerized by the soft glow of my computer screen, truly hypnotized and captivated by a multitude of pixels? Not to mention a case of insomnia attack?

Why do women have such soft wonderful bodies?

Well, they don’t all have soft wonderful bodies. But, women are awesome, in any shape or form!

What the hell was I thinking?!?

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why do words have such slippery meanings?

They wouldn’t be so slippery if you put down the knitting needles!

Why am I even answering this?

Because I want more lurve.

Why do I have to get up this morning?

Either because you have kids and they won’t let you stay in bed or because you have done it so long it is an ingrained involuntary reflex.
The temperature is supposed to be up over 100 again today. Why do I stay here instead of moving further north where they have actual seasons?

Because winter sucks when you get so much snow you loose power for weeks.

Why do I not just move to North Carolina like what was the original plan?

Why? The game is boring and I don’t want to get bored.

Because lack of funds or just not as interested in moving as you thought?! North Carolina is pretty awesome though!

Why am I still afraid of spiders when I know they’re not that bad?

Intuitive judgement (“Spiders are creepy”) and reasoning (“Very few spiders pose a threat to humans. and they control other insect pests”) are separate mental functions. Reason has little actual power to override intuitive judgment, and more often gets used to justify the judgement.

Is the drive that compels us to posit a self as being the agent around which our life revolves the same drive that makes us want to put a god at the center of the universe? Are we just compelled to see a controlling agent at the heart of things, on the large scale as on the small scale?

It is because ego needs answers and cannot fathom it’s annihilation sooo, it is ever seeking to find a way to ensure it’s survival. Inquiring egos need to know that they will not die in vain. lol

Why is it that my cats which have 5 acres of land to crap on insist on running back in the house to use their litter boxes. Are they pussies?

creatures of habit, much like us only furrier and cuter.

Why is coffee so satisfying?

Well, to me it’s not…I can’t stand the stuff. But, seriously, you’re probably addicted to the caffeine.

Why can’t I get him off my mind?

Because love is a drug, all those brain chemicals trick you into the “meet, mate, procreate” zone.

Where does dust come from?

From the sun, silly…haven’t you ever seen the dust coming in on the sunbeams when you open the curtain?

Why did I have to get sick on a three day weekend?

Because virus’ don’t care when they get to attack your body.

What time will my daughters take their nap today?

Anytime you wish if you give them a little spoonful of grape elixer. The Dimetap nap. Mothers little helper from the 80’s. lololol

Why is it wrong to drug children? ;-)

On the one hand, The Dimetap nap always worked great for long car trips and unwilling to nap children. On the other hand, After a while it took bigger and bigger doses if we used it too much.

Why do I have a Convertible car but keep the fiberglass top on it all year long?

For the same reason I have long hair and wear it up all the time, lol! (I have no idea why you do this…perhaps you don’t want bugs in your car?)

Why are the spiders so big this year?

We had a warm winter and they had extra growing time like everything else.

Should I go back and finish my bachelors degree this year?

Sure! Why not? :-)

What does it mean when the acorns are extra small, a dry winter?

You will meet a man with a small penis.

Why was my friend so important to my well-being?

Because friends know us so well that they know just what to say and do to make things feel better.

Why is the sky blue?

Something to do with the frequency at which the atmosphere reflects the sun’s rays…

Why do I feel blue?

Because you’re the day sky and it’s always blue.

Why is Dr.Oz so awesome?

Because he is an authentic person, a rarity.

Why did the chicken cross the road? @janbb Aaaah, well then, I won’t be dating this fall. lol

To get to the other side…

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To cross the finish line before the hare.

What should I make for lunch today?

Don’t make lunch, we’re having a party for you in Meta right now! Come to creative1’s party everyone!

Are you going to a party today?

No, I’m staying home and recuperating so I can survive work tomorrow…

Who thinks this weekend went by way too fast?

No, just about right, still have all day today as it is only *;52 am on the west coast.

Do you have a cat nearby?

Not a real cat but my girlfriend who moves like one taking her slow sweet time doing her nails and hair when were just about running out of time on our way to a BBQ. Purrr timing!

Who will be the celebrity guest speaker in the DNC?

Not Clint Eastwood!

Should I get a dog?

Depends, take the balance sheet approach.
Dog positives: Loving little friend, companion, security system, cuddle & exercise buddy.
Dog negatives: Expensive, high maintenance, can be sloppy, noisy, pee in the house, bark all night and shed all over the place. I’d opt for a cat, same amount of love, less work and can stay home alone for a few days when a dog cannot.

Have you had a pet goose?

Allergic to cats.

Never had a pet goose. Has to be pretty interesting though…I mean I know a lot of people probably have geese for whatever reason there is to keep them, but to have one as a pet you love, like one would a cat or dog, that’s pretty neat.

What stops me from just dropping everything, and going to travel the world on foot, like that guy in Kung Fu the Legend Continues?

A false sense of obligation

Will we ever live in a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned?

@rojo That is the best question!!!

Why is love so complicated?

Because there are women (or woman-like people) involved

If Chlorine is heavier than air, how does it get waaay up in the atmosphere to hurt ozone?

You know when kids splash a lot in the pool? There you go…

Who is doing a football pool this season?

Not me, I only watch figure skating and gymnastics.

Why don’t more people use their turn signals, even though if they did it would cut down on a lot of accidents and roadrage?

Beats me, but that is one of my biggest driving peeves. Infact, I had to pull a stunt driver move very recently to avoid a lunatic that slammed on their brakes and turned right in front of me going about 60 and forced me to swerve around them. I was actually very impressed with my reaction and my cars handling. haha

Has anyone been to Yosemite recently and are now worried they have Hanta virus? lol

Nope never been there so I know I don’t have it.

What time should I have a glass of wine tonight?

Now!

What should I wear to the party tonight?

A little black dress.

Are you ready to call this the end of summer?

nope but I like the fall so its ok with me but I am not looking forward to winter

What does winter mean to me?

High heating bills, that’s what it means to me.

Would someone make me a quiche? lol

Yes, and This is the one I shall make.

Do people with those blue tooth thingees stuck in their ear (at the grocery store) realize that unless we’re standing on the side of them where you can see it, or if it’s not obscured by their hair or a hat, that I assume that they are speaking to me?

That’s why I respond to them

No, they are in their own little world not paying attention to anything in particular. The person who hit my brother’s (parked) car was chatting on one of these. We called the malady, recticranular inversio.

Do whales pee? how would you tell if they were?

Whales absolutely pee. You can tell because they get a glazed, faraway expression. This can happen even while you are in the middle of a conversation with one, although in polite whale circles, that is considered rude.

Have you ever climbed a tree?

Yes – all the time when I was a kid.

Are politics worse than ever or about the same?

The same story as always, from the dawn of time, just new twists on old plots and characters.

Can you bake a cherry pie?

Yes I can…mmmm pie I love to bake all different pies

Do you love yummy pie with a homemade flakey crust

I’m one of those who prefer any kind of pie as long as it’s ala mode. And that is always a good thing!

Which country is most likely to launch a nuclear missile attack-?

Oh lordy…lets not go there. lol

Who believes that bio-warfare is a bigger threat than nuking?

I do, if it works out properly. Plus I imagine the long time results would be devastating. Not that nuking isn’t, but once that’s it, that’s it. Bio warfare could spread out and fuck shit up a long way from where it was originally sent, and affect future generations greatly. Although ’‘nuking’’ can do the same, if I understood anything about Chernobyl, which I probably really didn’t.

If I ever get married, I’d like to have a green wedding gown. Sounds pretty cool at the moment but I can’t quite figure out why. So, why?

Because you have a creative and imaginative side!
White is so boring and provincial.

Where do Crickets go in the winter?

Well I love insects, but I don’t really know that much about them. Here are three possibilities though; they have a short life span and naturally die before Autumn/Winter. You can hear some in late Summer and early Autumn though, they must be pretty badass.
Perhaps they hibernate, and come back next year. A lot of insects actually do that, including butterflies, which are usually perceived as wimps.
Some may also migrate to warmer places. It depends on the type of cricket and where it lives, that’s for sure.

I’m wondering if anyone has seen any rare natural occurrence/disaster, like a typhoon, or a rogue wave? Something less harmful, but intriguing? Any experiences to share?

From many questions above: does size matter?
@Symbeline I have experienced many earthquakes, but they were all disappointing because nothing happened – thank goodness.

I was in Virginia Beach visiting my Navy son who was stationed there when Hurricane Floyd passed through. It was a real joke.
I went to the grocery store during the height of the wind/rain, and it was almost like a normal rainy dayl.

@Symbeline Around 1993, Philippines. Was with my gf going to Baguio, a city built by Americans in the northern part of the country at 10,000 ft. above sea level. It is the only place in the Philippines that looks like you are in the US because of its pine trees and American style homes constructed decades ago.

A major local tourist destination, we took an 8 hour bus trip to Baguio but a typhoon came causing major landslides. My girlfriend and I were adamant though. We hiked up the road for 6 straight hours while other tourists were going down! Lol.

I remember we paused and considered carefully when we reached one of the many major landslide points. There was a good part of the road where I looked underneath and it didn’t have any supporting ground! So we had to stay close to the mountainside holding on to shrubs in case the concrete collapses from under us. We were idiots.

In another landslide area, the road was blocked by huge boulders and we had to climb over them. I’ll never forget that scene. There were nuns heading the opposite direction, climbing over the boulders as well.

There was a moment of zen. A part of the road with no signs of any destruction. The view was gloriously breathtaking. Probably at 8,000 ft. We sat on a tree that grew almost completely sideways, its top hanging over the cliff. A few hours later, my body exhausted from walking uphill, my girlfriend wanted to get back to the tree because she said she dropped the rosary I gave her as a gift. ( No way sweetie, I’ll just get you a new one! )

We arrived in a hotel all covered with dust and mud. Three days later, we hitched a ride back to Manila. It was a night trip. Going down that mountain region took hours and hours of very slow traffic. An image I would never forget. The seemingly endless line of hundreds of vehicles going down, curving around the mountainside, their lights blinking. It was like a string of rosary beads glowing in the dark.

Question I ask myself…“If Galapagos tortoises could live to a ripe old age of 150, does that mean sloooooow is good?”

Sloooooooooow IS good and size DOES matter. Evidently

Is it either La Nina or El Nino or is there something in between?

Hermaphrodito?

Why do mens’ trousers and shirts button the opposite way women’s? Left over Right and Right over left

I have heard it is because, after women dressed themselves, they also dressed the men and since they also made the clothes, they made it easier for themselves.

Does this actually make sense?

Yes.
Is it weird for me to type “I’m here today again,” everyday when talking to people on a forum I just joined?

Hmmm…perhaps. lol

WHY do people insist on not pulling forward to the end pump at gas stations and block anyone else from getting their fuel by blocking BOTH pumps? Grrr!

Because they don’t know how to drive.

When am I going to go on another trip overseas?

Probably as early as tomorrow, if you would have the strength to avoid Fluthering for at least a week.

I always see turtledoves in twos, why?

Maybe they prefer to fly together. You know… hanging out and stuff.

I’ve been listening for a song for days, how can I get it out of my head?

Have someone play “the Chicken Dance” for you.

Would we have a riotous crowd of people attacking an embassy in Washington D.C. and Killing people if someone burned a Bible?

Maybe not. Cooler heads will prevail. However, if someone attempts to burn Justin Bieber at the stake…now that would result in chaos.

Why can’t someone design a leaf blower that is not awfully loud?

Then people would not know you could afford a leaf blower.

Why have I not gone to bed yet?

Probably because there is something nagging at you, probably a problem…or too much caffeine intake.

What would I do if I have only 24 hours to live?

Spend the remaining time with your loved ones. Or try to become a god. One or the other.

Why must I be a slave to this society?

Because you don’t want to stand on the corner with the other homeless asking for handouts.

What if I can’t think of another question?

Because there are just too many questions to ask

Why don’t I just give up on dating all this bs???

Because somewhere there is someone like me looking for someone like you, thinking the same thing.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

I don’t know I have never managed to have one without biting it. If I had to guess, more than 357,

Why do people live in Alaska?

Why do people live anywhere? Because it is home.

Do you think people have a tinge of guilt or feel ashamed when they mistreat other people?

Most do, some are just broken.

What makes a place “home”?

Pictures, pets and people.

Why is life such a bitch sometimes?

You can’t control other people and sometimes they make your life seem like a bitch. Trust me though, it is only temporary.

What have you done for yourself lately?

Treat myself to a seriously delicious lobster dinner!

Why don’t I treat myself more to seriously delicious lobster dinners?

I don’t live in New England and everyone knows that is where you can get the best lobster dinners.

Why do I have so much trouble with this word game?

Maybe because you’re not good with words.

Why don’t the kids in my 6th period class listen to the teacher’s instructions?

Because like all kids they think they know everything.

When will I go back to finish my degree?

Not before Harry Potter’s crystal ball shows an image of you wearing a toga. : )

If Prince William’s topless photo is released, would they still sue the photographer?

Probably. People are crazy when it comes to suing people…

How many posts do you think will be on here?

Always one more!

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

One.

Which smartphone was the chicken using when it crossed the street?

None. Chickens don’t have fingers.

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?

Whichever one would allow me to sleep better that night…

Who is Jack Lew and why him?

I don’t know. Why not him?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does the tree make a noise?

Yes. Sound is made by vibrations which travel through the air.
But it would be completely different if we were speaking of Quantum Theory here…
What is your favorite color and why?

Red, of course, red signifies sex, it calls the bull, it screams gimme some, plus all my bits are red?
Why oh why do clouds in the sky makes such odd shapes?

Because God is bored and loves to doodle.

Why did men evolve to have beards and women did not?

I don’t know, but I’ve known a woman or two who should shave!

Why do American women shave their armpits and legs (and maybe more)?

Because women follow fashion
Why is life so irritating?

To provide us a challenge between football games.

Why do nice guys finish last?

Because they are conscientious and adjust their rythm so their partner finishes first.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

He wrote the song himself, and is a bitter, bitter man.

Is it better to wad up toilet paper or fold it? Both from a plumbeing standpoint and a cleaning standpoint.

Sometimes I say to myself I say, Symbeline, are you drinking dinosaur piss, or are you not drinking dinosaur piss?

@majorrich Either way will do as long as it’s the softest brand out there.

Would I actually drink my own piss to survive?

Yes, desperation makes us do whatever it takes sometimes.

Do blind people see in their dreams? Particularly those blind from birth.

Yes, but only in black and white. : )

How do we know that we don’t die whenever we sleep, only to wake up in the same life cycle but in another dimension, just one of many multiples-?

We don’t!

How do we know that “waking reality” is not the dream (complete with “dream memories”) and that the “dream time” as it is called by some “First Peoples”, is not “true reality”?

Because if we were dreaming all this we would probably be naked (or is that just me?). Not sure whether this is a dream or nightmare.

What would happen if I stayed in bed ‘till noon for a change?

1. You might sleep more, perchance even dream more.

2. Your body might complain that it’s not as active as you are used to being.

3. Your SO may decide to join you and neither will get any rest

What would happen if my memory were to suddenly exhibit 100% retention?