How important do you rate your relationship issues?

11 on the apgar scale.

I agree with @wundayatta. The most important thing. The problems that relate to people you have significant relationships with outweigh any other problems. Other problems might influence and affect your relationship, but if your relationship is strong, you can usually ride out the storm. If you have problems in your relationship, everything else is amplified.

It depends on the actual issue in the relationship, I think. Minor irritants? Like he leaves drawers open? A 1 out of 10. I mean, it irritates me, but I try to remind myself that if it’s not worth getting a divorce over, it’s not worth fighting about. Major stuff like being unhappy overall in a relationship? A 10. If he beat me or belittled me? That’d be off the charts bad.

If you’re asking how I compare relationship issues to all other issues in my life, then I’d say they rank right up there with the very most important stuff of life.

-74 on the free spirited don’t tie me down scale. lol

What do you mean you laugh at the simplicity or easy going nature?

I have no idea what your question is. Can you clarify your question? Do you want to know how important relationships are? Do you want to know if people have problems in their relationships?

I have no idea about what you mean by “I love to hear and learn about normal people life even though I usually laugh at the simplicity or easy going nature.” Can you re-word your question and the details so we know what you are asking?

Relationships can mean family as well as boy/girl – man/woman type. I feel that any relationship between any two or more people is the most important thing in life.

I used to think they were the most important thing, and that they were where my happiness should be located. Turns out that’s a myth.

A myth, @bookish1? If you were all alone, and no one would look at you or talk to you or deal with you in any way, how do you think you would do? Could you even survive? For how long?

Humans are tribal creatures. We survive because we cooperate. It is very difficult for a human to survive alone, and the genes of a human who is alone all their life will certainly not be passed along. They will be an evolutionary dead end. Without relationships, we make no measurable impact on this planet. A year after your death, it is highly unlikely that anyone or anything could find evidence that you had ever existed.

It is only in relationship that our lives can have any meaning outside of the meaning we give it on our own. We can only survive past death because of relationships. We only survive in memory of others.

Now you talk about happiness, which is a nebulous concept. But most things that give people happiness: food, shelter, companionship, meaning, etc are created more easily and effectively in relationship with others. If relationships are not the most important thing, it seems like you would have a rather impoverished life, both in material ways and in psychological and spiritual ways. Even a relationship with God is a relationship with a person-like entity.

I would argue that relationships are the most important thing, and even more so if you don’t have any. But of course, you do have plenty, even if the only ones you have are on fluther. I know that isn’t the case.

@wundayatta : Oh, I know that I need humans to survive, and I know that social interaction is important. I promise! The question was ambiguously written, and I read it to mean “romantic relationships.” Maybe this was not what the OP intended, but their intention was not clear to me. Should have been more precise in my response. I was fluthering without coffee this morning!

@bookish1 So you think it is a myth that romantic relationships are important. Hmmm. I was just listening to the radio this morning about bringing up children. The reporter was saying that he thought it was important to be very nurturing to kids.

I would suspect that such nurturance is probably also important for adults. I bet if I were to research it, I’d find a bunch of studies that say romantic relationships are important. It would make sense, wouldn’t it, that feeling like you matter to people improves your success in life. I’m just one example and not a trend, but it’s been true in my life and I’m sure in many other people’s as well.

I’m not trying to make you feel bad about this. I suspect that minimizing the importance of romance is a way of trying not to make the lack of it hurt so much. However, I bet you will still be looking in one way or another. Almost everyone does. Another indication of its likely importance.

I agree that relating is important to humans, but romantic relationships are expendable.
We may “need” human feedback and companionship on occasion but we do not “need” romantic love to be happy humans.
One can have a perfectly content life without romantic relationship. I have been blissfully single for some years now after divorcing, a few flings, but, I have zero interest in a romantic entanglement or marriage these days. Each to his own and no one size fits all.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir what I mean is that I find it silly. A lot of people who have minor relationship issues always complain about it. Oh my boyfriend wants to hang out too much with his friends and not me. The world is ending! I laugh at that kind of thing, because I know that this person will be completely over it within a few days, and itt will be like it never happened.

@wundayatta : Please stop putting words in my mouth. Referring to romantic relationships, as I already clarified, I wrote, “I used to think they were the most important thing [...] .”
I did not say that I do not think they are important, or that I do not enjoy them. I am also not in pain right now for lack of a romantic relationship, whatever you might assume. I was a serial monogamist for far too long, and I’m trying to learn to be ok being by myself before I seek someone, and I know this to be a very healthy decision for me.

I did find the question slightly confusing, but anyway here goes! I do value relationships, but right now they are a higher level need, I am busy worrying about lower order needs like shelter, food and so on. I don’t get too fussed about them, I might sound cynical but I think people are fickle.

@bookish1 yes It was intended to be very ambiguous! Although in my own mind I did mean romantic relationships.
I did not get the type of answers I expected… no I got more creative interesting answers! Thanks all.

Since I respect my husband, any relationship issues are important to me. Minor issues would be how we handle the pets whereas big issues would be about his kids’ schooling.

@bluejay I see.