Is it usually respected if someone is open about her virginity?

Neither. It is information, like her height or eye-color.

“Lame” is so overused that it no longer has any meaning. What do you specifically mean?

Virginity has no bearing on whether or not someone is lame or interesting.

I’ve known plenty of virgins who were lame, plenty who were awesome/interesting. Conversely I’ve known plenty of non-virgins who were lame, and plenty who were awesome/interesting.

^^^> So what does “lame” mean?

Why would that subject be up for public discussion?

@syz Teenagers are nosy?

I get a lot of incredulity when it comes up, followed by crude questions. Not a girl, tho. I invariably end up explaining both the religious and practical sides of my choice.
@syz Girl-watching is a part of my workplace culture, which leads to related conversation, which I tell them to stop, whereupon they ask me (if they don’t already know) why I’m not interested. Then I explain my angle, and they say, “You mean that you haven’t slept with any girl?”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say no. Maybe if a girl is under 20—or a guy for that matter—they won’t get a lot of teasing. But after that, people start to get a bit incredulous and they think that something is wrong with you. Maybe you have religious problems or maybe you have social problems. Or maybe you have sexual issues. But it is hard to imagine a person choosing to be a virgin, certainly after the age of 24, or so, unless you really are a religious fanatic, which is weird in its own right.

I remained a virgin until I was 20. The reason was I was a social spaz and no woman was interested in me, or even when they were, I always found a way to sabotage it. I could say I wish it hadn’t been any other way, but I would be a liar. I wish I had lost my virginity when I was 17 or 18, or possibly even 16.

If I were a virgin over the age of 20, I wouldn’t want to talk about it. If I were a woman, I’m not sure I’d mention it to a partner, because some men won’t have anything to do with a virgin. I had that happen to me, and I refused. I wasn’t about to “take” someone’s virginity. If we had been bf and gf, that would have been one thing, but as a friends with benefits situation, no way. Maybe that’s too romantic, but I feel like the first time should be between people who at least see a future in a relationship. It is more than just a transaction. There are practicalities and potential pain and other issues to deal with that are less likely to be there if you are not a virgin.

Virginity can be a serious issue and it can come between people. So I would not publicize it or be open about it unless I really trusted the people I was talking to and knew they really liked me. It’s not a casual thing to me. It’s an issue that requires respect. So I would not bring it up in casual situations, certainly not in the office. It is not their business.

“Pretty”, “lame” and “interesting” (and “respect”, for that matter) are all in the minds of the persons involved.

Apparently, sometimes so is “virginity”.

So much depends on context. Society as a whole? I’d lean towards no, but it’s a very mixed bag. A lot of people would praise you, but then again that can (and often does) come off as incredibly patronizing, which would shift to the ‘not respected’ side, since I don’t think that’s genuine respect (as much as people who take that opinion tend to say that it is). On the other side (and a little less for women) you have people who will go for the ‘what’s wrong with you?’ route when learning about it. So overall, sadly, not highly respected. Of course, on the other side you get hit with a lack of respect if you do have sex. Aka the virgin/whore dichotomy.

on the guy’s side, it tends to shift more towards the ‘what’s wrong with you’ then the patronizing praise, which explains the responses you see, @Nullo, as a product of the cultural expectation that men are all sex-crazed animals. Sexist culture, how do you suck? Let me count the ways…

In specific, I agree very much with @gailcalled and @tedd, it’s a state of being that has no particular value assigned to it. And the people I surround myself with have a very similar view, so in the context of the people around me it would be neutral. But I’m not so naive (or overly optimistic) to recognize that that’s very much not the norm, sadly.

I can tell you that a lot of people are respectful of a commitment to premarital abstinence. Just not all in one place.

So long as it’s not her legs.

I don’t know what’s considered socially acceptable and socially relevant among youngsters now, but I would not be interested in hearing about it. Why would a young woman want to invite me (anyone—other than her gynecologist and her actual or intended lover or fiance) to think about the status of her vagina? It’s really no business of mine and hardly presents an appealing topic of conversation.

- Girl: I’m a virgin

- Brain: did you hear that penis? She wants to have sex with us!

I don’t think it matters much to the general population. It does matter to the person I would imagine. I know a 41 year old female virgin and she shared that info with me. Now I find that interesting.

I would keep that information where it belongs – inside one’s underwear.

Unless you are a member of the same religious order as @Nullo, for the most of the world that information should only be shared with your intended lover.
What do you gain by telling? The recipient of that info can either: care, not care, or think negatively about it
If they care, do you want a person who will judge you based on the state of your vagina? Will their opinion change 5 minutes after you are lo longer a virgin?.
If they don’t care, why should you tell them such personal info? Your motive can easily be misinterpreted.
If they think negatively about it they might wonder why you haven’t met someone already. Does she have a medical problem? Is she holding out for a better deal? If we do it will she assume from that moment on we are married?

I would only tell the person who I chose to share the experience.

By the way, I’m sure both of my ~30 year old sons are virgins, (one living with a woman, the other married for 4 years). Until I see grandchildren that’s what I’m going to believe. ;-)

@LuckyGuy It’s not like it comes up all that often. :|

@Nullo :) But once it does, it’s like opening Pandora’s box.
The cat’s out of the bag.

I think virginity is respected by people who are very religious, but that’s about it.

@LuckyGuy You make it sound like we have regular discussions about it after church, though.