Men - how do you handle your crying woman?

Like it says on the box, with care.

Crying. dont like it. period.

Pffft. My husband: “Oh, shut the fuck up.”

He can’t handle it. And when he can’t handle something, the response is get angry and ignore it until it goes away.

Truth is, I’m more likely to cry before my wife.

She usually slaps me like we’re in a scene from the Maltese Falcon.

Depends on the context.

Is she crying because of like a loss in the family, or something I did wrong? Or is she crying cuz it’s that time of the month and she’s emotional, or because of something that happened on tv?

My parents used to say “Stop crying or I’ll give you a reason to!”

Wrap my arms around her and hold her. Then play off her reaction and see what happens next.

My husband would not switch on a dime like the OP’s example, especially if we were in the midst of an argument. I think most women would want those type of tears sort of ignored, not sure though? And, to just fucking be taken seriously and whatever idiotic thing the guy is doing for them to fix it. Women have hormones that from what I understand make us more susceptible to crying, it rarely is done on purpose, it is somewhat out of our control. Women also are socialized to be allowed to cry when men are generally told the opposite, but I think the hormones have a lot to do with it too.

If after an argument he find me crying alone, or if I am teary and he has no idea why, he usually seems a little freaked out and wants to comfort me. It almost never happens though. I rarely am off in a corner crying alone like that.

Wow.. I must live a sheltered life. I could not remember when I was with a woman crying over an offense I made. A sad good bye, yes.
Crying while watching a sad movie or listening to NPR StoryCorps, sure. that happens – but usually I’m in the same state.

@LuckyGuy Oh, my husband is horrible (said with some sarcasm) to me when I cry watching a movie. If there is a scene he knows will probably trigger me, he looks me right in the face to see if I am crying. It pisses me off. LOL.

And, to the first part of your answer, my husband never is doing something purposely mean. If I wind up crying, which is very rare, because of a disagreement, it is usually about some difference in our personalities or feeling misunderstood. More being teary out of frustration, sometimes dissappointment.

@JLeslie I think crying at a movie is great. It means you got a lot out of it.

Here. My gift: This StoryCorps clip turned me into a basket case. It’s only 2½ minutes. Click it. How bad can it be?

MY psychiatrist told me that women often cry when they get angry. We did not get into a discussion about why. The biochemists or endocrinologists can do that.

@gailcalled I think anger is usually actually hurt: the underlying cause of anger is being upset or hurt. So, it makes sense that women would cry when angry. The way I understand it, men are more likely to jump to anger as an emotion, because they don’t want to display hurt as an emotion, or don’t deal with it well.

@JLeslie: Often the underlying cause of anger is anger.

My doc. made an observation and left the “why” to the experts.

Here is what Dr. Phil says about it. I know he is a TV personality, but he is also a Psychologist in real life. My only point was to provide some more information to the discussion about why possibly it makes sense people sometimes cry when angry. I don’t understand why you would be opposed to discussing or offering explanations as to the “why” of your statement.

Wooly discussions about psychological issues are off-topic here. The question is about behavior and not guesswork about causality.

@gailcalled First of all it is in social, second of all you raised the topic tangent. Why are you so rigid lately? Flag it if you want. Let a mod decide.

I walk away. A crying woman cannot be reasoned with.

that is a bit redundant :P

Whatever one fears or loathes within themselves is what they will fear and loathe in others.
A crying person, for whatever reason, needs comfort, unless they are crying for manipulative reasons, in which case their tears will make ME angry!
If a man is not comfortable with his emotional side he is much more ikley to respond to a womans tears with disdain, impatience, lack or compassion and maybe even outright anger.

Years ago I dated an ass that actually told me once when I was crying to stop it, that he never did anything to make a women cry and would not tolerate tears. I was crying BECAUSE he yelled at me to do something and I felt bullied and talked down to.
I was smart enough to get away from him before he didn’t do something else to make me cry. lol

It depends on who it is, but I’m apathetic unless it’s actually something important, and even then I just go through the motions of comforting them and trying to be supportive, lol.

You guys (and girls) are cold. Go to her. If she pushes you away okay. I’ve never got that. I’ve always got that grab on to me and hold.

^ Agreed. When a human sees the pain of another as something that makes THEM uneasy or angry…well…you’ve got issues, big ones!

Hasn’t happened on the girlfriend level yet. Depending on why Mom or Sis are crying, I’ll either ignore them, do things for them, or give out hugs.

Personally, I hate having someone try to comfort me when I’m crying. That includes hugs, talking, everything. I just want to calm down on my own so I can deal with the source of the upset in a rational way. Most people really don’t seem to get that, and in response, they go overboard with even more comforting when I tell them it isn’t wanted.

If I’m around a crying person, I try to make sure they get what they’re asking for, whether it’s someone to talk to, solving the problem, or just some time alone. When you’re dealing with a crying person, it’s really not the time to be pushy or do stuff “for their own good.”

I dont like to be seen crying, but when in an argument with someone I care about, crying can help them understand how you feel.

I agree with @Adirondackwannabe ‘go to her.’ If she backs off then fine. I think its akward when someone ignores you when crying.

Then again it also depends on whose upsetting you. If its a signficant other, I’d need them to hold me and be confident enough to consul me. If its a family member I’d rather have them leave me alone. The more they try to consul me the more angry I get. Eh oui, c’est comme ca! Lol

I rarely cry and when I do I cry alone so it’s not an issue.

Oh good grief how did I end up on this old thread? Well I’ve been in that awkward position three times, no four times. Once when my wifes dad passed, once when a lady friends dad passed, and twice when women I was close to had children pass, first time a baby (no not mine) and the second time a teen son. I just hold them and try my best to console them, what the hell else can you do? And several times ended up sobbing myself because I felt so terrible for them. But I always feel awkward and unready to deal with the situation. Just shoot me.