Have you ever run into someone you haven't seen for years and if so, did you find yourself privately comparing yourself to them?

Sure – that’s what high school reunions are for!

Aboslutely!
Boy, do they look old !

Recently had dinner with a friend I had not seen in 30 years. Kept looking at him thinking “He sure looks old.” It;s funny how you can see changes in other people, but not yourself.

Hey @LuckyGuy and @marinelife Wanna come over for brunch?

Of course. It takes a little while to get them back in focus so you can see the person you used to know.

Not really. What I find myself comparing is them as they are now to my memories of them.

Our high school class graduated in ‘81, and we now hold reunions every five years. Since we created a Facebook group and about half of our class belongs to it, it’s easier to let go of the “Wow, you aren’t the 18 year old that I remember!” factor and see them for who they are today.

As for comparisons, I don’t think so. I’m not a competitive person, so maybe that makes a difference. I haven’t heard any of the other classmates making vocal comparisons either. The cliques seem to be gone. When someone is going to be in the home town, they post on the Facebook group page that they will be there, and ask who is interested in getting together. I’ve been there for one of them, and it was ~6 of us that all hung out with different groups back in school. It was a fantastic time.

If anything, @wonderingwhy hit the nail on the head. A few of the classmates that seemed destined for success fell flat on their faces, while a handful of others that appeared to hold no future landed on their feet. The success stories are great. The ones that didn’t turn out well…it’s a bummer.

@janbb Just to be fodder for your comparing us? No thanks!

@janbb Absolutely! We’d have nothing to compare against so no worries.

Yes, and I always think, God I bet they’re thinking about how fat I have got! And think how successful their lives must be in comparison to mine.

No, because when it happens, and it’s happened recently, I had no idea who they were. I’ve always had trouble remembering people’s names, even people who I worked with or went to school with for years. One of my friends, who I had not seen in about 15 years was in the same restaurant, and I didn’t recognize her at all. She looked so different. I felt so embarrassed because it was someone that I had grown up with and shared many experiences with. I would not have been able to pick her out in a line up. Even though she still had the same build and just slightly lighter hair and a more modern hair cut.

Ya, but I figure he has all those make-up people, so it isn’t a fair comparison.

The only time I remember being jealous of him was when he got to perform with Monty Pythons Flying Circus, as a chorus-man, during the lumberjack sketch.

Not really. I mean I suppose I do, but so many of my “not seen in years” peeps as well as 90% of everyone I meet live and think in such conventional sandboxes relative to my somewhat delusional idea of my own that I know for sure I don’t want their lives.

My most difficult moment of comparison envy in recent times has gone to my boss and the owner of the company I work for who went to the same school as my slightly younger friends. He’s built a really great company from ideals that I share while I’ve been sitting on my ass complaining about shit (more or less). I have to be quick to remind myself that his path is not my path and vice-versa.

Ahh, yeah. 2 summers ago, I saw 3 of the cheerleaders from my high school squad. The girl that used to sit on my shoulders is now quite bigger than me. She’s still pretty, but definitely not sitting in my shoulders again. The tiniest and cutest cheerleader got into drugs and the hard life—her teeth were rotten and she looked like she was going on 60 when she was just 40. The third one was a popular, svelte blonde—she’s still blonde, but now over 300 pounds.

I wasn’t the prettiest, cutest or most popular in high school, but when I saw my old teammates, I admit I was thinking, “Whew!!!” the whole time.

Not really but I do notice the difference and hope they don’t find me so old looking. Of course some people really didn’t age well and they just feel like complete strangers and it just makes me feel sad. Especially if I had some really fond memories of the way we use to be. I recently met a cousin I hadn’t seen in over 30 years. The bright spirited boy that I knew was gone. In his place was an old man who looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. As a result. I no longer want to see long lost friends or family.

I ran into an old school chum once, standing right in the middle of the road he was, small world.

I think it’s a very natural thing to do when you run into someone you haven’t seen for many years.

I’ve met people that are now virtually homeless drug addicts, but when I knew them 10 years ago they were in law school. Another guy, I was sure he’d be in prison or dead by the time he was 30, now he wears a suit and tie every day and drives a Mercedes.

As far as comparing myself to them, I made a conscious choice to put my life on hold some years ago in order to take care of a relative, so I can’t be too hard on myself for not having achieved career greatness yet :)

@FutureMemory Not everyone has the courage or resiliency to take care of a relative. I’ve always respected you for that.

Kind of you to say, @linguaphile. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sick (to the deepest possible core) of doing it though.

Now I was going to discuss what happened that prompted me to ask this question but offhand I can’t remember. I’ll remember it and get back to you all!