Has your opinion of someone ever been totally changed 180 degrees after you saw the inside of their personal living space (i.e. their house being a total mess)?

No, but I did decide on the spot that I would never eat food that came from her house.

To spare you the gory details, let’s just say – nasty.

I’ve seen a few houses that were a little more disorganized than I expected from knowing them on the outside, but not dismayingly so. I’ve never been totally surprised in the way this question asks, so I’ve never had my opinion turned right around.

Once I went into a house that was somewhat dismaying, but that wasn’t surprising, since the couple had about seven kids and the father seemed nonexistent and the mother was very artsy. I think it is nearly impossible to keep things in order if you don’t value order that much. The kids were all very creative, though.

My parents are messy, my dad boarders on hoarding, it has become worse as he gets older. So, generally I don’t change my thoughts about someone or do a 180 if their house is a mess. I am uncomfortable if the house is very messy, I prefer not to be in a big mess. If they are dirty also, meaning food lying around or bathrooms are moldy, then that really freaks me out. Still not a 180 for me though.

When I asked this question, I was thinking of people who give an outward impression of being posh and put together, and then you see their houses and realize it’s just a facade.

@jca I don’t think of it as a facade.

Absolutely! There are ‘normal’ people living in filth, and other ‘normal’ people living in mansions…it’s incredible seeing what people spend or don’t spend their money on.

Not really. Those that live like pigs, I expected as much. If you know a person enough to have an opinion of them, you probably already have a pretty good idea of what their place looks like.

@jca What does the cleanliness or messiness of someone’s house have to do with them being a posh and put together person? Maybe you define those characteristics differently than I do. Just because they are a put together person does not at all imply to me that their house is neat and orderly. Maybe it’s because I deal with this issue on a daily basis in my job. I am in people’s homes often and there are some wealthy, well-dressed people who are messy as all hell. Some people are so go-go-go at their job and when they come home, don’t feel like cleaning up.

I have a friend whose place is always a mess, but I rarely spend time at her place so I could care less. It only matters if the person lives with me and is like that, because I tend to err on the side of order. But it doesn’t change how I think of them.

@jca I get your question ;) let me answer what your looking for. Yes, completely. Thought they were proper, clean, classy and perfectionist, only to find out they were disgusting, messy and uncaring of their stuff. To tell you the truth, it turned me off immensly. I actually lost a friendship this way too… she was a total pig and believe it or not she wouldn’t clean up after her own shit – literally ;)

I can’t remember the individual, but I do remember one time thinking, “Thank god it’s a mess. We can get along.”

Of course it will. There is something going on with them if they live that way. It’s funny when they say “please excuse the mess” as if they have been on a cleaning binge and thats the reason shit is everywhere. Um no. that mess has been there for ten years. And prey to anyone who will listen to NOT need to use the bathroom there.

@woodcutter When I say “please excuse the mess,” I mean please excuse the shit I haven’t cleaned up that is laying around.

@JLeslie But if the stuff has been out for a week then you’re treading into slobsville.

@woodcutter So? I don’t understand your point. How do you know how long the stuff has been there anyway? I almost always have the cubbies at my back door full of stuff, some has been there for months. My office generally has two or three piles of papers on the desk. Also common that I have some folded laundry on top of the washer/dryer, and usually some make-up and hair spray on top of my vanity. Most of my house is neat, but I always have a few things out of place, and I freely admit it. I don’t think my house feels like slobsville, but I certainly never say it is pin neat. Never. I am not trying to fool anyone.

Dust marks, etc. You can tell by context in the place if there is a recent restructuring going on or stuff is more or less a permanent landmark in the place. Its like seeing tracks in the woods and telling if they were put there yesterday or last week.

@woodcutter ok, but who cares if some stuff has been sitting around a while? As long as it is not all over like the house is caving in. I guess you are a neatnick. Still, saying, “sorry for the mess,” is not trying to say it is usually clean or only been there a day. It is not an attempt to lie.

Nope not a neetnick. Pretty much a pig in my own right, but I will be the first one to not apologize for it. My outside and inside persona pretty much match so there are no surprises when someone sees both.

@woodcutter I see. I think women are probably more likely to apologize. Just guessing.

I met a few who didn’t bat an eye while standing in their own funk. shudders