Is it appropriate to do something special for someone who finally finished their cancer treatment?

I have not had cancer, but I think, like any illness, even a cold or flu, everyone appreciates a little TLC and a some extra attention. Why not hostess a celebration party and fix their favorite dishes, invite their friends and family, or pow wow on a group party to show your care. :-)

@Coloma I should have mentioned he lives in a different state. He is on the east coast and I am in Memphis.

I loved when friends or family took me out to lunch or dinner. I didn’t consider that they were honoring me but celebrating a victory, no matter how permanent or short-lived. It is never finally over.

During the treatment, I appreciated being driven here and there, having meals prepared and dropped off, having someone run to the library for books, DVD’s and CD’s, and enjoying brief visits that I could end at will.

Ask him. If he s a good friend, he will answer frankly. Cancer survivors in general tend to no longer sugar coat life issues.

PS. Personally, I would have not wanted a party. Too overwhelming and exhausting. That is why it makes sense to ask.

I think its such a lovely gesture. I have not had cancer no, but I am sure a peaceful beautiful and inspiring setting would work well? With a luncheon and your friendship.

I’ve had breast cancer, but it was found so early that I only needed a lumpectomy and radiation, so the treatment was more of a nuisance than a trial. I’d suggest a warm letter expressing how much you care about him. If you know of his fondness for a particular kind of candy or nuts, or other treat, you could send that kind of gift. If he lived closer to you, I’d suggest taking him to lunch or dinner. My feeling was more that a treatment was over at last, not that it was a big triumph.

I still suggest that one size does not fit all here. Ask him. Some folks like donations to one of the Cancer Societies, for example.

I definately think it’s something to celebrate. My mother has terminal breast cancer but is now in remission. What makes her feel better is to not be in pain, not tired, etc…she doens’t want to be treated like she’s ill anymore. If your friend is able, as someone else mentioned, I would see what they’d like to do to celebrate and go from there.

I think I probably will ask. It is tricky since I am so far away. Instead of waiting for him to be done I think maybe I might send some food over to their apartment. These final weeks of his treatment have been quite exhausting I think, the last time he went to receive chemo they decided to delay because his platelet count was low and his neuropathy had increased. It has been very difficult for his SO for obvious reasons to watch him go through all this. An evening not cooking would be a break I think. I tell him I am thinking about him through messaging and facebook. I give him a call once in while.

I also thought of a care package now, rather than something when the treatment is over, with stuff I know he would like. Something to open up that just had every day type things I know he likes. But, I also don’t want to give him attention he may not want. Sometimes good intentions by others just don’t feel right to the person who is ill or hurting in the end.

@JLeslie: Find a nearby restaurant that will deliver a meal to their home. Cooking does get onerous, and going out when you feel exhausted and in pain is also difficult.

During my final weeks of radiation, I paid a friend to make delicious meals for me and deliver them to the house. He checked with me on the menu.

@gailcalled They live in NYC, so it isn’t like a meal delivered in is a very unique thing. But, still, I am going to consider it.

I have not had cancer but of course I have had long illnesses, and I was always so touched and appreciative when neighbors and friends did nice things for me. Go for it! It’s very kind of you.

@JLeslie: It is if you pay for and arrange it, maybe more than one. They’re not looking for unique but things to help lower their stress. This is a time when originality does not count.

Or perhaps a cleaning service to zip through the apartment.

@gailcalled I agree, it is being able to not have to make a decision and have things done for you. Thanks for all your answers.