Could anyone give me some advice on law school personal statement writing and editing?

Tell why you chose to study in the UK, what you got from it (a deeper appreciation of your home country) and why you are continuing your studies in the U.S.

Talk abut what you pln to do when you graduate.

Speak of your interests outside of school and any specialties you want to practice in.

Thank you!

I am happy with your response. I have been doing just this, although I need to elaborate on certain points, mainly the reasons why I want to continue my studies in the States. A huge motivation is my family, even being anywhere in the States is easier than being across the pond. I do feel like I need to tap into some more profound reasons however, which has proven difficult.

A large section is devoted to plans after graduation, and my interests to pursue study in the field of environmental law. These sections have not been as difficult, its almost as though the things which should be obvious are the most trying!

I have been called upon to review and advise on a number of graduate school applications, of which at least two or three were “personal essays” for law school.

All of the drafts, in one way or another, committed what I regarded as the same error: namely, spending their few hundred words telling the admissions board what they (the candidates) wanted and why they thought they should get it, instead of giving the board reasons to want to have them in their school. Those are not the same thing.

I would advise you to look at what you’ve written from the point of view of the committee of reviewers and ask yourself: “If committee member X were trying to sell his or her colleagues on accepting my application, what ammunition have I given this person to argue in favor of admitting me? Why is their school going to be glad to have me not only as a student but also as a graduate?” In other words, show the board how your presence in its student body would benefit the school and the profession and not just gratify your personal wants and wishes.

Don’t go overboard with the salesmanship, of course; look for balance.

I hasten to add that I have never served on such a board myself and can’t tell you anything about their thinking. But I can say that every person whose essay I have helped with—helped by raising questions and suggesting a different focus and emphasis, not by doing any writing myself—has been accepted.

I totally get what you are talking about. After years of wandering and studying abroad, I chose to come home (Hong Kong) to work. I’m someone who wants to make art around social issues, but when I was abroad, it wasn’t my community—a place really can’t be your community if you’re just planning to be there for a couple of years… there’s just not the same kind of investment and stakes.

In terms of writing your essay, I would think of it like storytelling, in that you need to make your abstract feelings concrete and cite specific examples. For example, I remember we would have different assignments in class when we would be asked in theatre class to pick a social issue; and as a group of international students in London we would end up picking on big global social issues (like Iran getting nuclear weapons) or using literary or historical references to tell the story of oppression or power (Osip Mandelstam). This is a far cry from the work I am doing now : I’m doing a piece on factory workers in China, but I’m drawing upon conversations and the experiences of students I’ve worked with and known for decades.

So give people images they can latch on to. Think about it: if you had to shoot a movie for your essay, what images would be present? Use setting, action, detail to concretise your feelings.

Hope this helps!