Can you help me figure out what "traditional mother of the groom style" means?

I wore an A-line scoopneck dress with a matching hip-length tunic to my son’s wedding. It was summer so the dress was light-weight, pale green and knee-length. I would think you couldn’t go wrong with a below the knee or mid-calf length dress and tunic or a dressy suit in a nice fabric and a camisole. I would stick to solid colors and not go for anything too bright. A friend of mine once told me, “The mother of the groom is supposed to say nothing and wear beige.” Well, I couldn’t quite stick to that but you get the idea.

Have you checked out sites like David’s Bridal?

I would say below the knee straight or a-line, short or long sleeve, no cleavage showing dress. Or, can be two pieces, but basically creating a dress look. It can also have a jacket, and be a very tailored look, or be less structured, I think either is fine, it just depends on the style you prefer. I guess basically a rather conservative safe style, bit still plent of flare is allowed. Are there colors chosen for the wedding? Is it afternoon or evening? are you going to show it to his fiance before deciding for sure?

As for what @janbb quoted that the mother of the bride saying nothing and wearing beige, I did not feel that way at all as a bride.

From watching various bridal shows with my wife, I can tell you the following:
• No white
• Nothing remotely sexy
• Not too fancy

Basically something you might wear to a formal afternoon dinner.

can you contact the mother of the bride and see what she’s wearing? The appropriate style for “Mother of the groom” is to be in line with, but not upstage the mother of the bride.

@Judi But if there is actually a biological “mother of the groom” going to be there, I think it would not be appropriate for @SuperMouse to do that.

@janbb and @Judi the biological mother of the groom is not going be there, but I am not in a position to contact the mother of the bride. I am fairly certain that, based on my budget and fashion sense, there is no way I will upstage her! Hence coming to The Collective for fashion advice.

@JLeslie, it is an evening wedding and the colors are gray and dark plum/purple. I was not planning on showing his fiance prior to the wedding, it never occurred to me!

With all information given…

I’d say a well-fitting suit in warm beige or eggshell, with a rockin’ plum blouse and an awesome kitten heel (so much standing, you don’t want four-inchers, for sure), and you’d look amazing.

I think asking his finances advice is a nice gesture and could put your relationship on a good footing to start.
You can get beautiful special occasion outfits at consignment stores. I got my first wedding dress at one. No one knew how little I paid for a designer gown.

I agree that you will probably want something fairly conservative (I know that word can mean very different things to different people, but since you know me fairly well, I think you can agree LOL) And nothing blatantly sexy, although you do want to look nice, and pretty and respectable.

Here are some looks that I would choose:

Look #1

Look #2

Look #3

Look #4 (my personal favorite)

Look #5

Look #6

Look #7

Look #8

Look #9

Look #10

@Kardamom

Five and nine are my favourites, though I’d choose something other than black for the latter.

@Seek_Kolinahr I think the best colors would be (not necessarily for these dresses, but for any dress that she chooses) champagne, eggplant, dark cranberry, chocolate brown, royal blue, emerald or pale pink. With my vote going for chocolate brown : )

In those circumstances I’ve seen a lot of pastel two-piece dresses, skirts a little below the knee, in some rich or lustrous fabric, but nothing slinky, nothing drapey, nothing black, nothing low-cut, and nothing attention-getting.

I haven’t been in that position myself, but part of me hopes that at least one of my sons declares denim to be the fabric of choice for his nuptials.

I’d wear a simple slip dress with a suit coat, or precisely what @Seek_Kolinahr suggested.

Oh my heck! I am from a family of girls, so I had no idea that the mother of the groom is supposed to dress dowdy. At my son’s wedding, I showed up the bride’s mother completely. Of course, she always looks like a librarian with a Buster Brown haircut. But still, I didn’t know anything about this tradition or I would have at least tried.

@Skaggfacemutt I didn’t feel that I had to or did dress dowdily, I felt I was appropriately dressed along with her. I don’t think either mother is supposed to be the star of the show but that doesn’t mean you can’t look sharp. (even if you’re a librarian.)

Sharp looking librarian. ^^

@bkcunningham Always in black and white!

@janbb and always a tuxedo! I actually think the look I am going for is “sharp looking librarian!”

@Kardamom, thanks for all the links! Those looks are so much dressier than what I was contemplating! My favorite is number eight, as @Seek_Kolinahr said though, not in black. @janbb, are those more formal than the dress you wore? @Seek_Kolinahr, yours is fabulous, I especially love the blouse, and I might even be able to make the outfit work for job interviews (for librarian positions)!

@SuperMouse Yes – they are and while lovely, it seems to me like they might be more formal than you need. A dress that isn’t floor length would probably be more useful for another time. If I can find a picture of mine, I will post it.

(By the way, I got mine from Coldwater Creek for $135.)

Let’s see if this works:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.153584711319177.32717.100000029465505&type=1

My daughter’s wedding. My daughter picked out my dress, and was adamant that she didn’t want me wearing anything from the “mother of the bride” rack at the bridal store. We looked at them, and came to the conclusion that most bride’s moms must be old and fat. Again, I plead ignorance. We really weren’t aware of the tradition.

http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv322/skaggfacemutt/KellyWill.jpg

@Seek_Kolinahr Those shoes are fabulous!

I like the colors, grey and eggplant/plum, very nice. I agree with a lot of the colors suggested, you can go taupe, champagne, plum (but slightly different shade than the bridesmaids, if there are bridesmaids) brown, I think you can wear black also, if the purple is dark and it is evening. Give the bride a call I think, tell you are excited about the wedding, and maybe ask her if there are any colors she prefer you not wear, so that when you arrive she not dissappointed.

@SuperMouse Can you give me an idea as to your figure type, age etc? What is your best feature? I have some ideas but I’m not sure if they would work for you. Also, do you have a preference for long versus short? How do you feel about bolero jackets that are cropped above the waist? You don’t want to look too sexy but I’m sure you don’t want to look matronly either!

Really short shorts and a halter top with some Jimmy Choos.

@Earthgirl I am 5’5” and average build. I usually wear as size 10 or 12 and I would rather not draw attention to my waistline. I am not a busty gal. I would prefer tea length or shorter but definitely not a miniskirt. I am not sure about the bolero jackets, and since I am so clueless I am not opposed to it!

@Adirondackwannabe that’s pretty much all the bride and groom have ever seen me in so I kind of wanted to switch it up a bit for the wedding.

@SuperMouse Thanks for taking this in fun. Let me think a bit.

I think a pale peach or pastel, with nice shoes would look warm and inviting, a little sexy but not to take attention from the bride.

Here’s one for starters. I’m working on it! I love the idea of silver. It would be a lovely combination with the plum that the bridesmaids are wearing.

I just thought of one more thing – I have to sit on my husband’s lap for the parent’s dance. I am planning on sitting side saddle, but that might take anything too short or too long out of the running – don’t want anything getting caught in his wheels and I am not interested in any Sharon Stone action!

@Earthgirl, I love that dress!

I just realized I should ask something, are you in the wedding? I’m using my wedding as a point of refernece, all the parents walked down the aisle and stood up (under the chupah) during the ceremony. Most likely if I had a step parent they would have been up there also. If you are basically just another guest, I know you are a little more than that, but if you are not in the wedding you can wear almost any color in my opinion, you don’t have to coordinate.

@Supermouse Here’s some more dresses that might be more suitable:

Sexy Librarian 1

Sexy Librarian 2

Sexy Librarian 3

Sexy Librarian 4

Sexy Librarian 5

Sexy Librarian 6

Sexy Librarian 7

Sexy Librarian 8

Sexy Librarian 9

Sexy Librarian 10

@Kardamom I love sexy librarian 1. I wore a dress very similar to sexy librarian 4 to my son’s wedding, and I would definitely wear sexy librarian 8’s dress.

@JLeslie no, we are not in the wedding (as far as I know).

@Kardamom, I really like number four!

Thanks all, I am actually starting to enjoy this process – something I never thought possible!

@Skaggfacemutt Isn’t this fun? I love Sexy Librarian #4, especially the eggplant color. I also love jackets.

None of the librarians on our library look like that @Kardamom… might have to send them a link to this question!

I wore a dress very similar to sexy librarian 8 (black, not so low cut, and cap sleeves instead of chiffon) to my husband’s funeral. Believe me, I wasn’t going for “sexy”, I am just too petite to fit into most matronly dresses.

Sexy librarian #4 is a pretty color. It would look great with silver shoes, and maybe a silver scarf instead of the jacket. I don’t wear jackets well. Maybe because they make me look shorter.

@Bellatrix LOL do any of them look like This?

Wellll…............. how did you get that picture of Sue? :-)

Wowser, @Skaggfacemutt. You are gorgeous. I see where your daughter gets her beauty.

@Kardamom I think you are on track with your Sexy Librarians. I like #4 especially but all look good.

@bkcunningham Gee, thanks! (blush)

My other daughter is standing behind me, and my two sons (in the grey shirts) are behind her.

Oh yay!!! I’m so glad. Here’s some more inspirations.
I like the 40’s vibe of the suit at the top of the page. Not sure if you are averse to frills though. The neck detail may be too for for for you.

This is very elegant I think. The longer jacket with the center front split and beading detail is very flattering. I love the cutaway looks because they give the illusion of a smaller waist. I don’t like to wear anything belted because it doesn’t flatter me but I love some waist definition. If you want that too this is a good way to go. THe skirt could be taken in to be straight instead of mermaid or even shortened if you’d prefer that and it would still look good.

I know you say you don’t want waist definition but OMG!! This dress is drop dead gorgeous! Ok, ok ….forget it. If you wore this you would upstage the bride! I include it for color inspiration. Also, not sure if you object to strapless and strapless is a little too sexy but with the jacket it doesn’t look strap less at all. A cocktail dress like this with the sleeve and shoulder lace attached to the dress would be stunning.

Sexy librarian? Always a good look IMHO. :)

that 2nd link was no good I realize. Hope this one works

Given the parameters of the wedding, I think I’d avoid beading and satin. It might be a little too formal. Out of all the suggestions so far, I like @Seek_Kolinahr‘s the best. You could go with a skirt suit instead of pants, but either will probably be just fine. Fancy it up a bit with jewelry, to make it a bit more formal. A little bling in the way of earrings, a brooch, or a statement necklace.

I think it may vary a bit, the definition of formal. In my mind a pant suit, even dressed up with jewelry, does not meet the definition of formal. It seems that it is fine for a day wedding but questionable for an evening wedding. See here
That said, I know there are some women who just do not ever wear dresses and if you aren’t comfortable with it I think a pant suit is fine. My husbands cousin never wears dresses so it was no surprise that even at her son’s formal wedding she wore a pantsuit.

You asked for it. Most of these are affordable and several are fit the color scheme of the wedding.

However, if you wanted to get away from typical “mother of the bride/groom” style so that you might actually be able to wear it again (but still be appropriate), any one of these other options would be just fine. (Sleeveless dresses should be paired with a cardigan, and I would wear nude tights/pantyhose underneath for modesty purposes.)

As others have suggested, I would also wear some nice jewelry to add a little something special and to make it feel more formal.

Is anyone else, besides me, wondering what kind of yummy hors d’oeuvres will be served???

@janbb, maybe your son’s FB settings don’t allow non-friends to see his photos.

@Jeruba Yes, that would make sense, in which case just as well.

Ok, here is the dress we finally settled on. It was way more than we were hoping to spend but I love the dress and the way it feels and looks. I am not a huge jewelry person so I will probably only wear a pair of simple earrings, if even that. I am thinking black hose and mid-heel suede pump with a rounded toe. Thoughts?

@SuperMouse It’s beautiful! I would go with a simple necklace, maybe marcasite or blue topaz (of course it can be topaz colored glass, that one is just for inspiration). I also like peacock pearls.
I would go with nude hose though, not black. A darker grey shoe, like a pewter color would be nice. Black would be too dark in my opinion.

@Earthgirl if I went with a darker gray shoe would matching hose work? For some reason I have my heart set on colored hose.

Is the dress grey? I wasn’t sure if the link was in color or not?

@SuperMouse I think off black sheers would look good. The hose should not look darker than the shoe.

@janbb the dress is a super light/sheer grey.

Then I would keep the stockings a light grey too and maybe a dark grey suede pump. (Forget my FB advice.)

@SuperMouse That dress is really, really, really pretty! You’re going to look fabulous!

I think you should try on both colors of hose. Havong the hose darker than the dress sounds like it would look a bit odd. Try them both on and see what you think then. It is a beautiful dress though!

Love the dress! Your hose should not be darker or more opaque than the dress. Personally, I’d go with nude, but if you can find sheer gray, that would work, too. Darker gray or plum suede shoes would be lovely.

Very pretty dress! I love it. I would go with natural colored hose and grey shoes. Definitely not hose darker than the dress, not black, and not dark grey, in my opinion.

@SuperMouse, the dress you selected is beautiful. Have fun.