How to enjoy spicy food without fear of a bloated stomach or need of cold toilet paper?

I can't remember the details on this, but I think there is an oral product you can take that binds the receptors capsaicin normally binds with, preventing the burning pain. i wonder if it'll prevent the endorphin rush as well, though--in which case, maybe you wouldn't like eating spicy food so much. my Indian friends take milk or yogurt with spice because a lot of spice is contained in the oils of the pepper and water can't cut the oil.

i'm guessing that it's not actually the fault of the spices, at least not the capsaicin containing ones. try eating a jalepeno on its own and see what happens. regardless, taking a good multienzyme supplement with your spicy meal may well resolve the issue.

Most spices are oil-based, thus water based drinks such as soda or beer don't do a good job removing the spice oils from your mucus membranes. Fatty substances such as milk or yogurt can coat and protect your tissues, but the oils and fats can combine to cause further indigestion or flatulence. The acids in wine do a little bit better job of dissolving the oils. I suggest consuming with the spices a plain starch like rice, bread, crackers, potatoes, pasta, etc., and chewing them well. The starch will "wipe" the oils off of your tissues, and will bind with the oils so they don't burn so much on the way out.

I also LOVE the idea of chilled toilet paper to combat Montezuma's Revenge.

I know this sounds awful, but having Crohn's Disease I do have some tips for you. Unfortunately most things don't seem to work for me, but I love eating spicy food. So, instead of having cold toilet paper next to the toilet, try having ice cubes and a great book!

I find that taking any assortment of over the counter products, Tums etc., just BEFORE a meal helps.

Along the same lines, try a chewable pepto bismol before you eat. i used them in china to great effect, and the guy who suggested it told me it's an old army trick. who knows.

One time I ordered hot salsa in New Mexico (A California resident, I thought hot salsa in CA is the same hot level in New Mexico) boy I was wrong. My eyes popped and drank lots of water! A waiter ran with a glass of milk.So grateful for him. So after the experience of eating really hot spicy food or knowing I would, I would drink milk. It does the trick and helps the stomach! No wonder they put a side of sour cream if you order mexican based foods at restaurants. Its a milk based ingredient that helps cool down the spicyness.