How do you know when it's time to walk away from a long term relationship?

The decision to end relationships has always come when I’ve felt that I’ve done everything within my power and things still weren’t improving. None of my past relationships were ended by cheating or betrayal; the issues were mostly that myself and/or the exes were immature and had personal issues that were not being addressed effectively, and therefore left no chance of resolution.

In my most recent failed relationship, I was able to see that I had matured and was not acting needy or creating drama as I had before, so I knew that I was really ready to give and receive unconditional love, but that I needed a partner who had also reached that point in his own life. Three years ago I met my fiancé, and we have been happy, communicating openly, taking personal accountability, exercising patience, and sharing mutual respect and admiration ever since.

For me, I usually get worn down by bad experiences, and I become just as happy or happier when I’m alone, and then I know it’s time to walk away. I am very tolerant and forgiving but I’m not an idiot and I can only take so much.

When you come home and all your stuff is on the lawn.

@rojo I see. Not your fault you like the subtle women.

Usually when I find I’m consistently asking myself that question it’s a pretty good sign.

It’s all about balance, when the balance is out of whack it’s time to either fix it or move on. I’ve found I prefer to fix, or at least try to fix, it first, no matter how unlikely, if just so I don’t find myself wondering “what if” after. And sometimes that fix entails a substantial redefinition. But what usually makes the results a forgone conclusion is the lack of interest in the outcome. If I find myself unmoved either way by my personal considerations and introspection, it’s time to strike our separate ways.

Other times, we simply drift apart and one morning wake up to find that the other just isn’t with us anymore. Something about that can be very… desolate.

When you give 110% and it still doesn’t work/ make you happy. To me, I can leave with no guilt at that point.

I personally find ‘happiness’ per se, an impossible permanent state og being and not altogether necessary to living well, and way over-rated, but since most people consider it a dealbreaker, I’m adding that in. lol

By the time I give up, I do so with no regrets, because I know I gave all I could.

Wasn’t sure on which one?.

When the relationship is causing more pain than happiness. When it’s more work than it’s worth. When you dread going home after a long day of work.

I wouldn’t leave a long-term relationship until I had tried to fix it first (barring any abuse). I’d talk with my SO, discuss what I’m feeling and how they are feeling, and see if this can change. Once I realized there was no fixing things, I’d leave, but not until then. There’s no set time frame to it, just the feeling of knowing that things aren’t going to get better.