Do you go for it, or do you forget it; expensive bracelet in the port-a-potty?
There is this hot chic you don’t care to be your woman you just want to get next to her good enough to have hot money sex with her. At an event while tossing t-paper into the business end of a port-a-potty her expensive bracelet slips off and into the ahem you know, it lands. She is in a panic. Do you go after it with the hope it will gain you between the sheet time, of do you let her figure it out since you don’t plan a long time relationship with her, or do you go get it for her as a ”chip” to use later?
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Eff that. She can crap dive herself. There’s no reason for me to risk getting hepa-sypha-herpa-aids from someone’s hemmhorroid-bloody poo. Plenty of slutty fish in the sea.
Not for sex, not for an expensive bracelet, not even for a million pounds. No way in hell.
Nope.
@downtide I’d do it for a million pounds.
Since it’s probably easy enough to fish out and remain clean, I’d ask her first, “If I get it out, will you still want it once it’s cleaned?”
Why go to the bother if she’s just going to look at you like you’re from Mars for even offering it back to her?
But then I wouldn’t expect anything from her other than a “thank you”. I don’t pay for it, in any way as overt as that.
Now, for a million pounds I’d take the risk. That’s over 1.6 million dollars. More than enough for me to move to Norway.
I’d certainly not do it for another person, but I was faced with this exact “moral dilemma” myself one time. Expensive bracelet kerplunked in far less than pristine toilet (in an airport, no less). I had to walk away. Sad but true.
What I would do is point and laugh.
@picante Ha ha!
it WAS an expensive bracelet. Now it’s not worth shit.
^ Oh, I see what you did there
@Sunny2 you did it, now I have Diet Dr Pepper dribbling out my nose.
I would hand her a piece of paper with the port a pottie company phone number on it, and tell her I don’t mind if she makes a call right now. (If she’s that clumsy she ain’t holding my phone.)
Did she wash her hands?
The sexy biatch would most likely be chasing me rather than the other way around, so she can go shit diving herself…..shower afterwards sweetie.
Sounds like she’s shit out of luck. I don’t think I’d even do that for a life partner. If it was important enough to them, they should fish it out themselves. I’ve dropped my wallet in a toilet and I didn’t go crying to anyone; I got it out myself and dealt with the shitty consequences!
I hope you aren’t making a bunch of concert-goers wait in line behind a port a potty while you try to figure this one out! :-p
If it was sitting on top of a pile, easily accessible by a tool of some kind—a stick, hanger, etc… MAYBE. If it had fallen far out of sight into the slush, I’d just let that bracelet go into the crapper. And would only fish for my own bracelet, not for anyone else’s.
Now people around me in the library are eyeing me—for cringing so obviously!
Absolutely not. So much shit and menstrual blood of strangers. Ugh.
Eewww, hell no. Someone mentioned a million dollars or a million pounds… I’d do it for that, then bleach my hands and wash in scalding water for the next two hours.
I’d do it for a million bucks.
Not for a date. Not for… anything less than a million bucks.
I’d figure out some way to get it out without getting dirty. And I’d do it as a favor. No sex or money required.
People, it’s just poop, not hydrofluoric acid or DMSO.
“It’s just poop.” This is why I adore you.
Dude, gross. Who the hell would want to sleep with someone who sticks their hands in nasty ass toilet water full of poop, anyways?
Plumbers’ wives. And husbands.
Hell no. Your arm will never not be blue. You wouldn’t want that. In your story there does it sink under or does it land all pretty, perched on a floater?
@linguaphile I saw the word “by a tool” and thought you said “on a stool”. I was wondering what kind a turd perch would be acceptable….
I would call the portapotty company immediately and let the ‘shit empty experts’ deal with it if it was my bracelet. No way would I even ask anyone else to stick their hand down there and if anyone suggested they do it for me, with their transparent intentions glowing for me to see, I would roll my eyes and dry gag.
@Seek_Kolinahr , I’ll get the guest space ready downstairs!
@CWOTUS Oh shit. My husband’s a plumber. Never thought of….... shit
@WillWorkForChocolate There is a hierarchy amongst plumbers. My friend who is a plumber only did installs and construction plumbing. He used to say people who handle blockages and stopped toilets are “turd herders”.
ROFL! My husband calls it “turd herders” too. He doesn’t typically have to deal with that part of the business, thank goodness.
Girl must be a knockout to have even considered this. I would like to see a pic of a woman that would be worth being the clown in a turd rodeo. Off the top of my head no one comes to mind.
Well depends For money? heck yea but at the risk of being friendzoned cause you will always be the guy thats stuck his hand in a John….it will either be your shineing light or your ultimate downfall.
How did I ever miss this question. Another mentally stimulating brain teaser from our resident nutter.
^ The question is…....what would you do?
I’d get one of those arm-length rubber gloves that horse inseminators (sp?) use.
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