Have you known a bully to change as he or she grew older?

No I haven’t. I actually know more adult bullies than I did childhood bullies.

My daughters biggest bully ended up becoming a friend and roommate. She had some sort of epiphany on a church mission trip to South America. My daughter forgave much better than me. I still cringe when I hear her name.

Yes they do change, well this one did. Let me explain. I spent most of my life traveling the world. I was great fodder for bullying. I always had the wrong accent. Wrong clothes, I was just wrong. At around 15 I learned to act tough. I remember one particular school in Zimbabwe I attended. I was bullied daily for my British accent.Plus my dad drove us to school in a sports car (this did not help much in a country under sanctions). Years later in South Africa a girl appeared from that school.

I bullied her for two terms, in fact she left. This included tripping her while in queue to attend class. Hiding her satchel on many occasions. Getting crowds to join in on mocking her. As well as sending her strange notes across the room during class. This particular school I speak of was also fond of hazing, so my behavior wasn’t frowned upon.

She eventually left. Years later as an adult my behavior still haunts me. I think of her often. I wish I could meet with her and apologize. To explain I was an idiot on a vendetta. I would never hurt, nor harm a human being today, not psychologically nor physically. It was a moment in time and I am ashamed of it. One often wishes one could undo the past.

In fact this is what I would say to her:

I was a scared, frightened teenager. I had angers and fears I couldn’t discuss with anyone. I needed help. I wasn’t who you thought I was, the tough bully you feared every day.

I haven’t had a lot of bullying experiences but…several nasty traits I have encountered with many personalities, passive aggressiveness and manipulative behaviors, no.
Most Leopards don’t change their spots. When I spot them they become endangered species in my realm. lol

I have never known anyone from my old schools that bullied me or anyone else. To be honest, I left that life behind. Workplace bullying I’ve been subjected to, and I don’t see many changes there either. Whilst it may be that kids who bully need help, I dread to think what a grown person’s issues would be if they still bullied.

Not my father…he is still a bully. The difference now being that I won’t let him get away with it…

The bully who I went to grade school with ended up in prison for raping a woman.

Later found out from our former teacher whom I got to supply for, he was physically abused by his father.

I would say that very few Bullies change, because unless they can figure out WHY they are being bullies – they cannot deal with the issues in their own lives. We are all products of the life that we have been forced to lead & we all deal with the issues in our lives in widely diverse manners. So, unless you have the insight to understand WHY you have chosen to resort to being a bully, it is doubtful that you will change – because being a bully fulfills you on some level of your life.

Like @WillWorkForChocolate most of the bullies I’ve met are adults. I detest their behaviour but as long as they’re not in my life, I don’t have to think about them