Should I go to my commencement?

I’ll be honest and say I am not sure what a ‘commencement’ is. Since I have never attended one. However, during my rather lucrative career, in the past, I was expected to attend award ceremonies, and dinners and events. I hated the whole idea.

They consisted of competitor consultants, who made bitchy remarks. Plus because I often won awards I had to make speeches as well as walk onto the stage in front of numerous people. This was terrifying to me. I hate public speaking.

I speak from the heart though, I did force myself to go. Some of the worse events that I had anticipated, to be awful turned out to be the best ever. I often sit and remember these times with pride and shock. That I was once such a successful person. For memory value they are priceless. For pushing yourself the extra mile, they speak of personal achievement.

Can a close friend attend with you? If not that is also not a ‘train smash’. Even if you go it alone, stand tall, be proud of what you have achieved. It is by dipping our toes in the water that we learn to swim. I don’t think you will be completely alone at Christmas, I think I will be around fluther and so will many others :)

Your reasons are all sound (no surprise there), you are old enough to know your own mind, and presumably you have been to commencements before. Contact the school administration and say they you are unable to attend and give them the address you would like your MA certificate or diploma or whatever sent.

Want to come to our house for Christmas? I think you would make a fun house guest.

I would go.

No, I don’t mean, “I would go if I were you.” I mean “I would go if you invited me and it was in the Eastern USA.”

You’ll still get the MA. They’ll mail it to you if you don’t want to attend commencement.

Congratulations!

I can’t advise you on what’s important to you and what isn’t. But I can tell you what I did.

I dropped out of college in the Midwest as a junior. Several years later, back home in the Northeast, I transferred to Boston University. I’d had many friends on the campus I left but none at B.U. For a year and a half I commuted to school and went to back-to-back classes all day twice a week so I could work the other three days. There was no social life for me at B.U., none at all. I knew no one other than my professors.

I completed my coursework in January, at midyear. Commencement was in June. I could have skipped it, and they would have mailed me my diploma. With or without the little black folder, I’d met graduation requirements and was an official graduate.

But I went to commencement, wore the cap and gown, marched in with my class, sat in the stadium, and got a sunburn on the back of my neck because the ceremony was important to me. It cost me a day and didn’t gain me very much. I remember nothing about the speaker. But do I regret going? Of course not. I can’t imagine what would cause me to wish I’d never gone.

I’m a big believer in seizing the opportunity to have special experiences, as long as they’re legal and do no harm. I’d have gained nothing by letting it default to an ordinary day; going ahead with it left me no reason to be sorry.

There’s no do-over if you miss it and change your mind later.

I didn’t attend the ceremonies for my masters and never regretted it. You can skip this one, unless it’s special to you for some reason, but DO go when you get your Ph.D. That’s worth the nuisance and the walking on air feeling!

I don’t remember if I attended commencement for my Master’s… I’d given birth to my son a year earlier, so I was still in a sleep-deprived haze.

I skipped my Associate’s graduation, but went for my Bachelor’s because family wanted me to – I’m not one for ceremony, though. It’s just a hassle in my opinion. But heck, I was happy to have eloped for my first marriage, and am dreading the thought of having to have a wedding when my fiancé and I decide to make it legal.

I went to my BS commencement and was very glad I did. I went to a large university and it was impressive to see all the people walking in two by two and and all the other graduates in the stands of the football stadium. They just called out the various schools and we stood up in the stands. And in the case of our school, several students had smuggled in live chickens which they threw into the crowd.

This sounds like our ‘Graduation’ ceremony? I haven’t been to any of mine. I didn’t feel like I had finished studying until I completed my PhD and then I decided to wait until my daughter completed her degree (at the same uni) but I am still waiting. So… you will still get the certificate. The ceremony is just that, a ceremony (well where I am at least). If you don’t want to go, don’t! Wait until you complete your PhD and then have a HUGE celebration. I’ll bring champagne (or I would if I lived closer and I would attend this with you too if I could).

I wouldn’t, so long as you will still receive the degree. Then again, I have panic attacks at this type of event, so… take that with a grain salt.

You’re welcome at our place for Christmas, too. :)

You did the hard yards, this is just the pomp and circumstance. I am not fond of p & c but I went and it was okay and really you deserve it. Take your smart phone and take a bunch of photos of yourself in your cap and gown. Do it as a spectator to your own life and be proud of what you have done.

With regard to Christmas, one year I spent it entirely alone. Well I had a kennel and about 100 dogs and I spent it entirely alone. I had been dreading it but in reality it is just another 24 hours. I ate what I wanted, watched a couple of movies, took care of the dogs and played with my own pack. It was no big deal. Just remember it is only another 24 hours. And if you really want company they are always looking for volunteers at feed the homeless type places. No worries mate, you can do it all.

I don’t think you will regret not going. However, I will say, I am glad I went to my graduations, even though I am fairly blasé about these things. I had great speakers at my graduations. My BA the students were awesome. We did the wave, it was crazy. But, if I had never gone to them, I would have never known what I missed and it would not be a big deal. I didn’t really care who was around me, meaning the other students, and I didn’t care that my family was there much really, but it was nice. We did not even walk during my graduation from college, because there were too many students. You don’t get your real diploma anyway, they send it in the mail afterwards. It was more about my experience being there, my own experience.

You certainly can skip your convocation and you will still receive your parchment and will have completed your degree in full.

The pomp and circumstance of graduation ceremonies is more satisfying if someone who cares about you is there to observe it.

I still resent that my ex-wife and mother of my 3 children walked out of the hall with all my children just before it was my turn to receive my Ph.D. I knew that she was jealous and resentful of academic attainment, but I felt cheated of having my family present at that special moment.

Do what feels right to you.

I was forced to go to both of my graduation ceremonies (family pressure) and I guess I survived. If it had been just me, I would have just had them mail the paperwork to me.

The main, and actually only, question here is do you want to?.

This is a milestone and a great achievement, remember to always celebrate your successes and allow others to recognize you when it happens. Commencement is an opportunity to do so, open yourself up to it. Invite your advisor to celebrate this sucess as well, he/she shares in it too.
Congratulations! Peace, BosM