If you are using the common app (you can do this for most schools) this is pretty easy. First, log in to commonapp, select a school , and on the left hand side of the page select ’‘school forms” on the bottom of that page you will see how many recommendations you need.
One of those HAS to be your councilor so go to him/her first. She/he has probably done this a billion times before, and hopefully he will take care of his part or give you specific instructions. If not, just ask him nicely to write a recommendation and be sure to get his e-mail address. Then, go back to common app, and click ‘invite official’ You should see a place to put in the e-mail address.
Next, you should decide on teachers you feel know you well, and ask them super nicely to write you a recommendation. At my school, we are supposed to give them a sort of resume so they know what to write about, but in general I don’t think that is necessary or even recommended. Once you have enough teachers consenting to write nice stuff about you, go back to commonapp click ‘assign official’ (again) and fill in the addresses. For the teachers you will have to indicate the subject they teach.
If you have super duper reccommendors, all you will have to do is sit back and watch the acceptance letters role in. In reality, you should give your reccomendors a few weeks, then if they haven’t sent in the recommendation (you can see if they did on commonapp) visit them again and nicely remind them. rinse and repeat.
Finally you have to go to the bottom of the ‘school forms’ page click ’‘assign new teacher’” and add as many as you need.
If the school you want to apply to is not on the common app, there is probably pretty specific stuff on the school website (look under apply, future students, asmissions, or similar). If the school requires your recommendors to mail the recommendation in, it is customary and polite to give the teacher a pre-addressed envelope with a stamp already attached.
Best of luck! and remember that practically everyone wants you to go to college. Applications can be super stressful, so ask for help! Teachers, councilors, and friend’s parents can help you. (I know you said your parents didn’t go to college, but they may be able to help you for some parts, at least) They understand your situation better than a bunch of internet jellies.