I lost my job, I still don’t have my pay deposited yet, which should have been done by midnight, and also, it’s only a pay of one day and a half, so everything feels like bullshit to me. Lol.
But I have jokes, if that’s what we’re doing here.
So a guy’s in a bar, and he goes to the bathroom to reveal himself. As he’s peeing, he notices the guy besides him, who’s also pissing, but three streams are coming from his dick. The guy asks, what’s up with that?
The three stream guy goes, well, when I was a kid, I had an accident on a barbed wire fence…pierced my penis…it was badly damaged, but the doctors did what they could. Every time I pee now, there’s three streams coming out.
Later, the guy goes back to take another piss, and notices the man besides him, who has about ten streams of urine splashing into the urinal.
What’s up with that, he asks.
Well, when I was in the Navy, I had an accident with some shrapnel…pierced my penis…the doctors did what they could, except now when I pee, these ten streams are happenin’.
So the night goes on…the man goes yet again to pee. As he’s peeing, a drunk guy starts staggering towards the urinal, and like, 34 streams of piss start blasting away…so our man asks, so, what kind of accident did you get into?
Accident? Nah man…I just forgot to unzip my fly.
So this couple goes out to the ocean for a holiday…they rent a boat, because they want to go on a little cruise on the ocean. So they get in the back of a cute boat, and the captain takes them away on the water. It’s a nice, hot day…but suddenly, a vicious storm unexpectedly occurs…it’s violent, and destroys the boat. The captain and the couple manage to grab on to some busted boat parts, and float around in the raging ocean for a while…when the storm died, they eventually make it to some deserted island.
Husband; Well, looks like we’re stranded here…
Wife; Well, listen up guys…my husband has been fucking me every day ever since we were together. And just because we’re stranded, doesn’t mean it’s going to end here.
She looks at her husband and instructs…so, one day, you’re going to make love to me, and then…she looks at the captain…the next day, it’s your turn. And the day after, my husband again…and so on. You guys take turns fucking me every day. Got it?
The two men look at one another, and agree.
So a few days go by…one day, the wife gets fucked by her husband, then the next day, the captain has his turn, and it goes on like this for a while.
Soon enough though, the poor wife starts getting sick, and a few days later, she passes away. However, both men, by now, are used to having sex every second day…just because she died, it can’t end now. So they come to an agreement, although somehow reluctantly…well, one day I’ll take the lead, and the next day, it’s going to be your turn.
So as they agree, one day it’s the husband doin’ the deed, the next day, it’s the captain…but soon enough, when comes for the captain to take action…he draws back, a plaintive look on his face.
Come on, man! We can’t keep doing this! I don’t like it, it’s sick!
The husband says…yeah, you’re right. Let’s bury her.
Happy Halloween yall lol