Has your reaction to something surprised you?

Oh yeah. Somebody sent me a picture, and my reaction was something I’ve never experienced in my life. I went places I didn’t even know I had in me.

I’m surprised by how just when I think I’m doing really well with the split from my husband, I am hit by a fresh period of grieving and depression.

When I became engaged to my wife, I was surprised to find myself doubting my decision, and still attracted to other women. I never thought it would be that way. I thought once we were engaged, that would be it.

I am a liberal person with my politics, even almost an anarchist if not actually one. I have always been pro-choice. More to the point, in my younger teens I used to fear the idea of being a father.

Basically, I used to consider myself to be the kind of guy who if told by a girlfriend that she is pregnant, would say “so what are you going to do?” instead of “congratulations”, if you know what I mean.

Semi-recently, when me and my girlfriend started having sex, as she was inexperienced and a bit uninformed on sex, she would worry about pregnancy quite a lot, even irrationally.

One day out of the blue, she said to me, that if she got pregnant, she would have an abortion for sure. This caused me to react in a way I was very surprised at. Well, I say react, I did not react really, I just told her she was safe because we use protection.

However, I did think in a way that surprised me. While I acted by reassuring her that she was safe because of the protection, inside I found my self thinking that it was bad that she would have an abortion.

While all my life I had been scared of the idea of being a father, and been pro-choice in my politics, I suddenly found myself wanting to bomb an abortion clinic and go shove photos of fetuses in peoples faces, and maybe fly to the America to vote for George Bush, hehe.

I guess age has changed me. I think perhaps I lost my fear of being a father and never realized until she said that, and it surprised me to find out that way. I’m quite sure that is what it is, as we have now known each other much longer, and we have both talked about having kids. We now plan to marry, spend a few more years traveling the world and saving up money, and then will go ahead and have a couple of kids, and I’m looking forwards to it all.

A few times…
When my son was 2, he tripped on the porch and caught the corner of the concrete stairs on the artery right between his eyes. Blood was squirting out of his face with his pulse like a scene from a Monty Python movie. Surprisingly, I did not freak out or panic. I ran into the kitchen, grabbed an ice pack and towel and applied pressure while trying to figure out how to get him to the E.R. since I was alone and he was not really able to apply the pressure himself.

I was a little surprised when I got the call in early 2010 that my father had died and I felt nothing. I hadn’t talked to him in a few years, and in retrospect I realize that the last time I had cut ties with him (after several attempts to reconcile only to be disappointed), I had done so emotionally, as well. I was relieved, in a sense, that I didn’t have any sense of guilt or lost opportunities that many seem to experience when an estranged family member dies. Nothing has surfaced on the nearly three years since then, so it confirms that I had achieved closure.

I have a conservative friend who unfriended me on Facebook (and had her husband unfriend me too) during election season.

I messaged her once with a cute dachshund thing (she loves dachshunds) and she did not respond.

A few weeks later I messaged her with a Thomas Jefferson quote about not letting politics or religion come between friends, and said I missed her. She responded with a snippy email saying that I had her email address, and I could contact her, but she hated all the “liberal garbage” on Facebook.

I was surprised at how angry I felt. I had stood by her and her husband when he had done something very bad, and they had been shunned. I felt sad that she did not remember that. I have not contacted her since.

@marinelife That’s too bad, but clearly, the woman is a wack job. To be THAT close minded and willing to dump a “friend” because they don’t agree with your politics is insane, immature and neurotic as hell. You’re better off without having to walk on eggshells around extremist types. Bah.

I too have surprised myself several times in recent years in how easy it has become for me to drop toxic people from my life. I have let go of 2 old friends in the last 2 years when their issues became toxic and they showed me they were too emotionally immature and insecure to handle an adult discussion about their behaviors.
I no longer hang onto to any relationships that have run their course or that involve childish and highly neurotic people.

I think for myself I have been surprised at how I just haven’t missed different friends through life especially those I grew up with, but then I think maybe its normal that when you are growing up you think it will be best friends forever then when it wasn’t I just kind of shrugged my shoulders.

The other thing that surprised me was when somebody I had known for about 20 years exited my life as it was done in a bit of a blaze of glory, but instead of shrugging my shoulders I blasted them out in a volley of swear words and going mad. I never lose my temper but they, for some reason, didn’t just press the wrong buttons they jumped up and down on them.

@TheProfoundPorcupine I know what you mean. I thought I would be sad that Ms Nutterdogsalot had exited, but instead I am reveling in the silence.

@Shippy I am sure that you are not missing all of the mad barking…and nor are you missing the dogs.

This is one I’m not really proud of and I’m actually afraid of the backlash by admitting it. Just to put it out there, I didn’t like it about myself.
I was watching a play and the two characters were room mates at a seminary. They were talking about something intense then unexpectedly embraced in a passionate kiss. I verbally said “ewwwww.” I was instantly ashamed of myself. I thought I had worked through the engrained bigotry I held for most of my 50+ years and was beyond it. I learned that day that there was till some bigotry in my heart and challenged me to dig a little deeper and do a lot of soul searching.

A couple of stubbornly persistent jehovas witnessessessessssss came calling just recently, I told them to fuck off before they could even utter a word.
This surprised me only because i’d normally laugh in their faces & close the door, I did have a mild headache though.

When my boyfriend (now fiancé) slept with my best friend while I was out of town, I was surprised to find that I didn’t feel upset or jealous or angry. I’d always hoped I would feel blase about it if something like that ever happened, but it was still surprising because despite my mild personal feelings about sleeping around, my socially implanted expectations were that I’d be very upset. I’m glad I wasn’t unhappy about it, because it’s nice when my emotions line up with my logic – which is that because humans are not exclusive pair-bonders, it makes little sense to get jealous about multiple sexual relationships.

When my parents got a divorce I was happy about it.

A few months ago I had a falling out with one of my closest friends and I was very surprised that I felt really indifferent towards the whole thing, even happy, actually, that the friendship was over. She was not a very nice person and I, on the other hand, will do anything for those I care about without ever expecting or asking for anything in return. I finally reached my breaking point and decided that I no longer wanted to be a pushover for someone who clearly did not appreciate anything I did for her, so I ended the friendship and completely erased her and her family from my life. This is the happiest I’ve been since becoming friends with her 4 years ago and I now have a renewed appreciation for the people in my life who genuinely care about me and my well-being and don’t take advantage of my kindness (it’s taken some getting used to, but I now know what real friendships are supposed to be like).

@jordym84 I so hear you. I had ‘friend’ for a good few years and I really didn’t like the person I was around her. Anyway we had a fall out, and I am so glad. I realize now, she was nosy, demanding and just didn’t understand boundaries. She was also hinting to me that I should put her in my Will !! plus was chatting to a neighbor to ask him if he would leave her his flat when he died. He is elderly. She loans him money from time to time.

That is why I was so aggressive around her. I feel marvelous shes gone. I didn’t really understand how annoying she was until she exited. She also demanded an apology which is hilarious since she was so out of line. Yay!, goodbye and good riddance.

@Shippy good riddance indeed!!

My so-called friend is one of those people that when she doesn’t get her way, she will make sure everyone around her knows it. We had several mutual friends in college, but by the time we graduated, I was the only one still friends with her and everyone was always surprised that I still talked to her. Besides her 2 older sisters, I was her only other friend because of how demanding she is. The catalyst that made me realize that she wasn’t my kind of person was when, during the summer, she got mad at me for holding the elevator doors open for someone who was running towards it. I was raised to have manners and be kind to others and I always hold doors open for people, regardless of their gender, so it really struck a nerve when she got mad at me for doing that. But the final straw was when she chose her boyfriend of about a month over me, her friend of 4 years who’d seen her through a lot of difficult times in her life – but, as karma would have it, about a week after I removed her from my life, they broke up! I haven’t looked back once since ending the “friendship” and, as I said previously, I now have a much greater appreciation for all the truly amazing people in my life :)