If?

I like to think it’s not the flavor that matters, but how you eat said jello. With your hands, a fork, and spook, or my personal favorite, chopsticks.

Try nailing it to a wall..

If… you try to ask a question with only an icon ♥ – it will break Fluther.

You should always bounce in it, on it and all around it. Licking while you go.

Green Jello?
(originally green jello but after being sued for infringement, they became green jelly)

You can also wrestle in it, but it has to be lemon for that! (I was going to add a link but I can only find women wrestling in it and that reminded me too much of lingerie football to include it!)

then – else

The question is an attempt to write the shortest, unmoderated question ever on fluther. Will she get away with it? Stay tuned!

And if she does, will “I?” become the shortest question? It’s worth a try.

But I must answer this question on it’s merits as a question, without details.

If?

If you give a pig a pancake?

If you write a short story with chalk from Folkstone?

If arithmetic was a dance, would Vegas add up?

If balloons, then?

If is a bland dish made of wild grains from the subsaharan regions of Antarctica. It is used in rituals of cleansing. There are two versions of this ritual, and each requires If made from grains gathered in specific areas. If you use the wrong kind of If, it can be deadly. Because if you are cleansing demons from an uncle, you must use riji If. But if you are cleansing toxins from freshly killed Macdermott, you must use xoi If. They grow near each other and it is difficult to tell them apart, so only elders with years of experience can be trusted to identify the correct If.

So you can imagine the tribe’s consternation when both elders died unexpectedly, and there was no one trained to identify the proper If. Now you might think this is just the story of a strange tribe out in Antarctica, and you probably didn’t even know there were tribes living them. But unfortunately for you, it turns out that the If situation will affect MacMurdo station, and through MacMurdo, it will affect the rest of the scientific community, and through the scientific community, it will affect global warming and thus, it will affect you!

Anyway, sayonara story! It was fun. Too bad this question will get modded.

Jello is hospital food, not fit for consumption unless you are in a hospital gown on a bland diet.
Enormous pans of horrid green jello lurk in the bowels of hospital kitchens everywhere. Beware.

No?

then?

If I’d only stayed in that little shack with her all those many years ago…

If.

If.

This is what Kung Lao asked himself in his last hour.

If he had trained harder.
If he hadn’t been so bold.
If he had thought things through.

But all those ifs no longer matter, as he was getting the life crushed out of him by Goro, the four armed half man, half dragon. There was no way out.
The Shokans live for chaos and destruction, and if Kung Lao realized that man’s harsh nature was itself no match for the pure destruction that is the essence of the Shokan, he would still live. If.

Also hmmm, jello. Wobbly wobbly wobbly jellooooo!

What?

Poo

Great answers all! But I am still back with the mental images created by the first 2 responses, eating it with chopsticks and nailing it to the wall. I have nothing to do this afternoon, I may give them both a try! But of course, only with lemon jello because I think that is the true answer, take the sour lemon and make it into cockeyed optimism!

What flavor is it? Your favorite, of course. If you don’t like Jello, you can revert to the original cherries.

If only…

@rooeytoo, I can eat jello with chopsticks…

@AshLeigh – you should post a youtube of yourself doing it! I would love to see it. You must make your jello a lot stiffer than most! Reminds me of the Karate Kid and trying to catch a fly with your chopsticks. Can you do that too???

IF I wouldn’t have had that happy brownie I wouldn’t be zipping all over the place doing EVERYTHING, except, getting my poo together for a dinner party tonight. lol
IF all goes well I will pull it off splendidly in another 3.45 hours.
Hey, I just HAD to change the curtains around in the bedrooms, and spend an hour making a 6 inch tall flower arrangement, and ya know, that cool gold silk bathrobe that I never wear, well…I just HAD to put it on and walk around feeling Japanesey for awhile. haha

@rooeytoo, I only eat jello at Chinese restaurants, so I don’t even make it! :)
And I’m working on the fly thing…

If a poem by Kipling

@YARNLADY – that’s a great poem, until you get to the last line, then it suddenly becomes sexist. A strong, mature female is all of those things and more. “you are a man, my son,” what a load of sexism!

…I had a million dollars.

@rooeytoo Yes, I was put off by that line also.

@AshLeigh – I have been thinking about this and wondering why would you only eat jello at Chinese restaurants? It doesn’t seem like something I would associate with Chinese food at all? I know there are arabic jelly candies that are like chocolate covered jello but Chinese???

@rooeytoo, I don’t really know… They have jello at the Chinese buffet I always go to. Haha.

Telly Savalas could “sing” again…...