@gailcalled Some of my well meaning relatives ask me why I’m a vegetarian and seem very concerned about it. I’ve been a veg since 1990 and most of them seem to forget that I’m a vegetarian, so the subject often comes up at holidays. No one means any harm, but they actually seem befuddled.
My Dad is 87 years old and often forgets that I can’t/don’t eat meat. He sees bewildered by the entire idea of vegetarianism. Not that he thinks it’s wrong, it just doesn’t make sense to him because every meal of his involves meat.
None of my relatives are vegetarian, so it’s not something that they ever think about on a daily basis. They only think about it, when they see me and are gently reminded (by me) that I am a vegetarian. The relatives are the most sad when they are reminded.
One of my cousin’s wives actually asked me, “Do people remember that you are a vegetarian?” I had to tell her that most people forget, even though I said I’ve been a vegetarian since 1990, so it’s no secret. But since most people eat meat, vegetarianism is not something that they ever think about, except when they see me on holidays. It’s ironic, because even though she was the one who asked, she has also forgotten. That made her feel anxious, that people forgot. I do my best to remember who is gluten free, lactose intolerant or diabetic, but sometimes people forget. I don’t hold it against them, I just gently remind them and ask if there is anything that I can bring.
One of my former co-workers used to ask me now and then, “Why would you eat fake meat? If you like meat, the real thing is much better. I just don’t understand why anyone would eat fake meat.” I had to often remind him that it wasn’t because I didn’t like the taste of meat, or the texture of meat, it was because I was against the killing of animals to get meat. He could never get his head wrapped around that concept, no matter how many times I tried to explain it to him. He was a great guy, so I never tried to push the issue with him, I just reminded him of the fact that bacon tastes pretty good, but to me killing and innocent animal just to get that flavor was not worth it to me, ethically, when Morningstar Farms makes a perfectly acceptable equivalent. Even if they didn’t, it still wouldn’t be ethical for me to justify a killing and I can easily live without. But I also accept the fact that most people don’t believe the same things that I do and I live in a society where meat eating and Christmas celebration (I’m an agnostic that celebrates Christmas as a beloved family tradition) is the norm.
It would be nice if everyone with disparate beliefs could live in harmony, but that will never be the case. So all we can do is try to explain ourselves, in a way that doesn’t offend others, while at the same time, protecting our own privacy and beliefs.
Some people are actual boors, but I think that most people just ask inappropriate/rude/prying questions simply because they don’t know any better. I try to give those folks a break.