I’ve been very mildly addicted to narcotics twice.
The first was a freak accident. I had gotten a large chunk of my intestines removed and my body was going through an adjustment period in which it was learning how to handle having less guts. During this period, absorption is pretty bad. Your average person can take up to 4 Imodium (antidiarrheal) in a day; colorectal surgeons tell their patients they can double that. Imodium is an over-the-counter drug and I had no idea there was any need for concern whatsoever. Well things weren’t going so hot for me for awhile and I was taking 8 a day very regularly, for probably two months or so. I don’t even know the timeline anymore, honestly. It went on for awhile. When I got my final surgery I almost instantly did not need Imodium anymore. I stopped cold turkey, having no idea I should do otherwise. No doctor mentioned anything about it.
I started to feel really bad. Feverish, oscillating between chills and sweats. Achy in my limbs and like I had restless leg syndrome. I was just starting to worry when it occurred to me, you know I did just stop all that Imodium. Eight to zero. I’m going to double check that that was okay.
I did my research and the internet dropped this bomb on me: Imodium is a weak narcotic! It can’t pass the blood-brain barrier so you don’t get a high (which is the only reason it’s available over-the-counter) but you can still get physically dependent on it. It was a total complete shock. But I couldn’t help but laugh – yep, I just accidentally got addicted to narcotics, and not even the fun kind. It was super easy to get off them once I knew what was up. Just tapered off instead of cold turkey.
The other time was legitimate narcotics, percocet. I had a minor but very painful surgery right at the beginning of last year’s winter semester. I’m not one to abuse any medication I’m given, but I did not have time to properly rest up after surgery. Life wasn’t waiting for me; I had to get myself to class and to the dining hall and walking was painful as hell. I was told I could take my percocet up to 4 times a day, I believe it was. I took it regularly for quite awhile, moreso than I ever had for a surgery, which seemed strange because it was by far my most minor surgery, but I think it was because I wasn’t able to give myself the healing period I needed. I didn’t even take the maximum of 4 per day but I took at least 1 and usually 2 every day for quite awhile. I guess I’m a small enough person for that to be addictive. During spring break I went home for some much needed – although sorely belated – rest, and since I was able to rest, I did not need the pain meds so much. Not for pain anyway. But it turned out I did need them, because it wasn’t long before I started feeling similar to the Imodium withdrawal again, and I immediately knew what was up. Even though it was a more “scary” narcotic this time, I fortunately was not severely addicted. Getting off of it was easy again.
I used to be far more judgmental before it happened to me. I assumed addiction began with irresponsibility. But I was following doctor’s orders to the T both times, and taking them for completely legitimate reasons. Now I understand that much addiction probably begins with sick people just trying to feel better.
I have far more empathy now. Can hardly imagine what a severe narcotics withdrawal would be like; my baby versions of withdrawal felt bad enough.