How did you determine you were an adult?

I think it has taken 60 years….

Christmas when I was 20. It was the first year I didn’t get a single Christmas gift from my family. I’m not the baby anymore, and I’ve been reminded every Christmas and birthday since.

It was either that or writing the check for my first mortgage payment. Nothing like a 30-year commitment to remind you you’re not a kid anymore.

I’m sure in 10 years my answer will be different.

When I made a life changing decision that allowed me to fathom living to be 30.

Never did. I keep waiting to feel like an adult someday. I figured getting engaged might make a difference, but so far no dice. Maybe getting married will. I asked my cousin (who is a year older than me, at 29) if being pregnant made her feel like a grown up yet, and she laughed and said no, but she was hoping that actually having the baby would do it.

It happened in stages over the years. Little check-offs along the way.

It happened suddenly when I turned 18 and had to sign up for the draft in 1969 while the Vietnam war raged on. When the war was over I reverted back somewhat and have not yet reach the level of adulthood that I achieved at 18. HA!

Because of my fucked up childhood, I became an ‘adult’ way too early. When I got married at 19, I hadn’t seen myself as not an adult for a long time.

When I got my first paycheck.

I’ve always kept a copy of Bayer’s Adulthood Checklist by my bedside. Whenever I do something on the list, I check it off. Nowadays it comes with an iPhone app (which busts my nuts, since I’m Android) so you can check things off on your phone, and it’ll update your adulthood quotient instantly.

For the longest time I’ve been around 98%. I’m beginning to think I have to die to reach 100%.

Just this past month, I had another adult a-ha moment. I realized that the girl I used to be—the one that would put others comfort before hers at any cost, the one who always said sorry even if she didn’t mean it, the one who sacrificed everything, her sanity, safety, needs, etc for others—was completely gone.

Part of me was sad—that girl was always so kind, thoughtful and giving. I’m still kind, thoughtful and giving, but not to such an excessive degree anymore. I had to learn how to keep myself safe, and in that, lost my innocent trust in people. It’s an adult thing to know how to protect yourself, I believe.

I don’t believe in the word adult. There are far too many immature older people for me to agree with whatever the word adult stands for.

Getting a selective service registration card in the mail. That’s when I realized that, no matter how I felt about it, the gub’mint thought that I was an adult.

Having to pay for things when I realized nobody was going to care for me anymore lol.

A lot of checks. I felt the oldest when I was young. Sort of like @augustlan. Work, clean, pay bills, grocery shop take care of my nephew. Have to play peace keeper and responisble party for all familail matters…

Having to deal with people and situations I thought were scary and stand up for myself, alone.

Having to grow up quickly. I have neglected certain areas like commitment. And am slowly realizing how young I am and how far I have to go.

Benjamin button indeed.

Buying a brand new car, which was the first time I ever had to take out a non-student loan or worry about anything to do with the word “financing.”

I got Survivors Benefits from my fathers death. I got them until I was 19 and two months. I just assumed I would keep getting the checks until the one month they didn’t show up. That was a healthy slap in the face.

Luckily I had a friend that was a manager at a movie theater and he got me a job there even though I had no experience. I’m not sure what I would have done if that didn’t work out.

When my parents died. In fact when a lot of people died around me, I also realized I’m old.

Signing all the papers for a mortgage involving by far the biggest check I ever wrote up to that time. -And the biggest monthly obligation I ever had up to that time.

When I realized that I could love anyone. And that all our daily bickering is nothing compared to what really matters – life, death and freedom. When I could finally be at peace whenever I wanted to because heaven and hell are states of mind.

So in other words, sometime around the end of college.

At age 23, when I was handed a little squirming bundle who weighed 7lbs 13 oz and was 21 inches long. That was an efficient propellant.

At that point, I was married, had a full-time job, and a busy life. I managed the family money and the traditional woman’s-work roles. But I was really only playing house.

My penis got way bigger
When did I decide? I’ll let you know.