What's a funny/weird thing that happened to you whilst shopping?

Cujo!

Nah, I wasn’t inside HMV either.

Tripping as I stepped off an escalator in a department store and plunging, headlong, into a display of comforters. At least it was a soft landing. lol

My pants fell down

It is the Law that nothing funny is ever allowed to happen in German supermarkets. Anyone causing something funny is immediately shot in the head.

I saw a live pig in someones shopping cart in Super Fresh yesterday. I suppose bacon doesn’t really get fresher than that…

“Achtung, place ze sausage in ze basket svine hunt!” Yeah, that follows.

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned this before, but I just can’t find it now. The strangest thing that ever happened to me while shopping (or is likely to ever happen, I suppose), was touching a girlfriend’s elbow while in the dairy aisle at Waldbaum’s in West Hartford (it’s a Big Y now) ... and giving her a full-on orgasm. (At least, that was the proximate cause. It’s not that she wasn’t already primed.) Her knees buckled and her eyes rolled up in her head. I self-debated for a second whether to lower her to the floor and call for help, thinking she was stroking out, or whether she was kidding with me.

When she ‘came to’ (pardon the pun) a half-minute later she whispered to me that we had to get out of there, and fast. And by that time I knew what it was.

She did it again in the parking lot. What a fun day that was!

I once came across an anti-sales person of some kind.

This was when I was a fair bit younger, I was out with my mother and father, picking a new sofa, when we met a sales person who seemed to be going out of their way, to make sure we did not want to buy anything.

Things like… when we asked if there were any more sofas upstairs, we were told no, in such a way, that it would make you think there was a dead body up there or something. “No nothing upstairs, no more sofas up there, no need for you to go up there” and so on.

I once saw a chimpanzee wearing a hat and gloves amble up to a checkout counter in a Whole Foods, pick up a health food bar, tear off the wrapper, eat it, and then amble back outside.

Everyone was looking around at each other or to see if there was an owner or something, and going like, wtf!

I was in a hurry, so I paid and left, but I didn’t see the chimp outside, so I have no idea what happened.

A friend and I were shopping and I had told her not to let me buy anything. We kinda split up in a store and a woman that sort of looked like me from the back was holding up a shirt looking at it. My friend thought it was me and said “put that back right now. You aren’t buying anything.” The woman put it back, looked at my friend like she was scared of her and started walking quickly away. My friend was trying to explain, but the woman was practically running from her.

I want to go shopping with @CWOTUS!

I was in a small supermarket in the Deep South which was very quiet. I had picked up a few items and was wandering up and down the aisles without seeing any other customers. I then went to check out what I had bought but there were no checkout assistants to be seen. I walked up and down and shouted ‘hello’ a couple of times but no one appeared. I put down my basket went to the door which opened for me and left.

@uberbatman A live pig!!!!???

@CWOTUS Oh my…lucky woman, guess you didn’t need to worry about much foreplay. lol

@wundayatta That is just bizarre, a chimp!

The guy who walks into Poundland & asks “how much is this love?”

@ucme Poundland? hahaha
We call it the dollar store.

@Coloma Tell me, if this dollar store ever has a half price sale, does that rapper fellow 50 cent come shopping?

@Coloma
We call it the ‘Pfennigoase’

Or Lidl

I prefer Netto.

Just one cor-netto, no there’s a whole bunch of them.

I was stopped by a foreign woman who didn’t know any English. She was looking for something specific and after a few minutes of pantomime and pointing at boxes I figured she was looking for syrup. Maple syrup for pancakes.

I accidentally run away with the item without paying for it. Got caught and spent the day behind bars. It was hilarious. It was an accident!

Last week I was in “Family Dollar”. I forget what for but while there I saw this little girl maybe 3 or 4 years old looking at a whoopee cushion she picked up. It was the kind that always stays inflated until squished. So I ask her, ” what do have there”? And she says, “It’s a farty thing” she puts it back and runs down to the front of the store.

had to have been there