Is there something that people consistently get "wrong" about you?

I think people think I am quite aggressive in real life, and shallow. Maybe I just imagine it. I don’t know. I don’t share a lot of myself with people. I am quite a soft hearted person. I don’t think people get that about me.

Apparently people assume I’m unfriendly/sad/snobby just because I’m quiet and reserved. If they take the time to get to know me then they will see I’m not what they think I am. Some people even think I have some kind of mental disorder..it’s actually quite rude when they go as far as to ask if I have some kind of mental illness. Which I do not.

I don’t wear pink (I do have two outfits that have some pink in them and I was hestiant to buy them, but the pattern is nice). If someone bought me pink pink pink I would be shocked. In fact, you know how Victoria Secret has that pink section, most of their loungewear. Having Pink written on everything is a total turn off to me. I think very few adults can pull of pink.

People often assume I am a snob when they first see me. Literally they may not have even met me yet. That used to happen when I was younger anyway, not sure if it does now. I have had several people say, “you know when I first saw you I was intimidated/thought you were a snob/didn’t feel you were approachable, I was completely wrong.”

Most people think I read a lot.

They assume I don’t do domestic things like cook and sew. (My sewing is very limited, but I do some).

I do say a lot of funny (I think) things, but I also have a very serious mind.
A lot of people just expect that I am making a joke, when I am actually quite serious.

Every Father’s Day someone always wishes me Happy Father’s Day.

People tend to miss my soft side.

People think I am masculine (often even straight) because I do not act the way capitalism wants gay men to act so they are a visible consuming demographic. But I have no idea how to do hegemonic white American masculinity and I’m fine with that.

People think I am white because they still do not expect that people might be mixed.

Upon first meeting me, people often remark that I am serious, and I am. You can see the pensiveness on my brow! I am also very, very silly, but it doesn’t often come out at first unless I make a good initial connection with someone.

I’ve been told that folks that don’t me find me imposing and very serious. I am actually a big teddy bear and can be pretty goofy – I’m just often deep in thought and/or reserved.

MIlo here; People assume that I am benevolent, magnanimous, even-handed and reasonable. Heheh. (Poor Gail.)

However, I look gorgeous in pink.
Couturiére; @Rooeytoo.

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@DigitalBlue Haha….my daughter feel the same way, she hates the color pink and it took years for her grandma to give up on trying to dress her like a cheer leader. lol
I have been told I am intimidating, which I find really funny, as I am an extremely easy going personality as long as you don’t play games with me of any kind. I think my verbal fluency and strong articulation, as well as my outspoken manner can be misread at times. A former writing mentor compared my personality to my writing style and told me that my personality was like my writing, ” formidable yet sincere.” I can live with that.

Only how to spell my first name, more than a few options makes it easy to err.

People tend to think I’m a snob or something until we hang out a few times, but mostly it’s my social anxiety that keeps me quiet until I ‘get them’ and their personality.

@ucme I always get a few “Dominick“s…

Other than that, it’s mostly people assuming that I’m straight; it doesn’t really bother me, though. :)

@KNOWITALL Interesting they might think you are a snob because you are quiet. They thought that about me and I am very talkative and outgoing.

I was an obsessive student in high school. I’ve remedied that – I’m still good, but I won’t abuse myself for grades anymore. People in college who don’t know my past and hear my attitude towards school probably think I am mediocre. Joke’s on them, I had a 4.0 up till this term.

Oh also. I think people see bubbly people like me and assume they are carefree. Truth is I got 99 problems but a bad attitude ain’t one of ‘em. :)

@DominicX I get Allan, Allen, Alun…all wrong, no biggie though, used to it by now.

Must be Alan.

@JLeslie Or just plain Al which I usually get.

@JLeslie Well, sometimes I live in my head too much, always have, and I think being quiet and not really paying them much attention (until I get to know them I sometimes am not that interested, isn’t that horrible?!) leads them to believe I’m stuck up.

Also I have heard that I always look like I’m ready to go do something else, like I’m bored. I don’t really know what to do about that except pay more attention, eye contact, etc…I have an active mind and imagination but I don’t want to be rude ever. It bothers me a little bit.

People think I’m lighthearted and funny. The truth is I am heavyhearted and sarcastic.

People assume I’m an introvert or that I’m shy, simply because I’m quiet in public and don’t talk a great deal. This is so untrue – I am totally an extrovert, I just find small-talk to be totally inane and impossible to do.

People never tell me what they think of me. So I can only imagine what they think, but then again that’s my interpretation and I can never be sure. I find that I get totally opposite views of me. Some people seem to think I’m sweet and caring, while others probably think I’m cold, a perfectionist, and a know-it-all. I’ve come to the conclusion that people read you according to their own values and their own shortcomings. So people who are always on defensive mode think I am attacking them when I’m just stating a fact. Others think I like to argue when in reality I am just trying to get to the bottom of something. For me, topics and issues are worth discussing but people think that if you don’t agree with them from the start, it is a waste of time because you will never come to an agreement. But my aim is never to come to an agreement but just to exchange ideas and learn from it.

The only three people that have really told me what they think of me are my mom, my sister, and an old boyfriend. The boy friend is six feet under, and my mom and sister think that I think I am perfect and better than everybody else. I keep saying NO, I don’t think or feel that way. They say, yes you do, you are only denying it. It’s a lost battle really, they seem to know more of what I think and feel than I do.

A lot of people assume that since I’m admittedly bitchy, short-tempered, and dislike people in general that I’m incapable of being warm, loving, and generous.

In high school, people who really hardly knew me at all had this idea that all I cared about was schoolwork and that I was a huge nerd just because I had good grades and I did not try to dumb myself down. While I certainly cared about my grades, I’m actually not like that at all. I have plenty of friends, free time, fun, and other interests/hobbies, and I am very lucky in that I honestly don’t have to do very much work to maintain my grades.

A really weird one that I have never understood is that when people first meet me, they almost always peg me as a conservative Republican and a christian. As most of you know, I’m pretty much the exact opposite of that, being an extremely liberal atheist. I think it must have something to do with my appearance and the way that I speak, but nobody can ever seem to explain exactly what it is about me that gives them that impression.

@Fly Maybe where you live they assume that about everyone. That’s what happens here where I live outside of Memphis. Even with my yankee accent they assume everyone believes in God and is a Christian and that white people are Republicans. Or, maybe you mean your accent is a little southern? I tend to assume southerners are Chrstian and religious myself. Well, I don’t assume it and then actually talk to them with that assumption. I would clarify or ask their specific beliefs or stand on particular issues if the appropriate occasion came up. It’s more like There is a statistical likelihood, but I know to treat everyone as an individual. You just never know.

No one tells me what they think of me. Perhaps they are intimidated? I tend not to be very forthcoming.

People think that I’m gay until I introduce them to my wife.

However, my habit of emphatically announcing, “This is my wife, Vicky, WHO IS A FEMALE WITH WHOM I HAVE HAD SEX!” might fall short of sealing the deal. ;-?

@JLeslie I would agree that in those circumstances, most people would assume that no matter what. But, I neither live in a place where that happens nor do I have an accent at all. I think I just speak and dress very “proper,” if that makes any sense.

Maryland definitely has a Maryland accent, although, usually not really southern, exceot for southern Maryland, which does sound southern. I would not assume you are Christian or religious just looking at you. I understand what you mean about how you dress, that could contribute to it.

When I was your age and younger I never assumed anyones religion ever among my friends. It was like that question didn’t exist practically. We all usually did know each others religions, mostly because of holidays or barmitvahs and confirmations, but it meant nothing. I found out in my 30’s one of my friends when I was in school was raised as an atheist, and I never had any idea.

@JLeslie There are definitely different accents throughout Maryland, but I don’t have one, as far as I can tell. When I speak, I have a neutral accent, like someone you might hear on the news. I’m not sure if that’s an accent in itself, but that is what I would most compare my voice to.

@Fly Yes, it is an accent within itself. I believe you that you have a very neutral accent though, don’t get me wrong. I was thinking, as an adult, when I think about your mom in high school, I would guess she is Christian, not Catholic, and generally I assume Christians are religious. That is if I had to guess. But, I wouldn’t think about it when I was young. Whereas with Jews and Catholics I never assume how religious they are. Hmmm…

Pretty much I can pick a Jewish person out of a group, kind of takes one to know one sort of thing, but not fool proof in any way. I just found out a women in my zumba group is Jewish and grew up in Rockville! I’ve seen her in class for two years. I never pegged her for Jewish. Jewish people are rare in my town and the neighboring ones.

That I am a Raider fan (I am, but they are my second team) because most of the African Americans (as well as many others) are Raider Fans. I have mentioned more than enough times I am a 49er fan, but as gifts I seem to get way more Raider Nation stuff.

People often seem to think I’m an ass. I have no idea why.

People often assume if you are single you must be lonely and/or depressed, which pisses me off to no end. I feel great being free to do as I please, and I’m tired of having to prove I am indeed happy to some <insert expletive here> who see life as a series of “on/off” switches.

Same problem as @Argonon. I’m not a very open person with people when I first meet them, it usually takes me a while to open up and be comfortable around them. Due to me being so shy and reserved, lots of people assume I’m really snobby and think too much of myself, and so don’t bother to get to know me better.
Sometimes I think it’s good that they don’t; I wouldn’t want to be friends with such short-sighted people anyway.

Another thing is that I often like spending time alone. People then think I’m depressed and/or weird because I spend so much time by myself. Truth is I’m just an introvert, its how I am. I’m not weird, or upset, or depressed. I just prefer quiet and peaceful solitude over noise and chaos. :)

I can’t tell you how many times I“ve been called a “workaholic.”

The reality is, I hate working. I’ve detested every job I’ve ever had. I haven’t worked in years; my husband would rather live with a happy, fulfilled housewife than with a miserable CPA. If I even think about getting a job, I’m filled with a sense of fear and dread.

So, when I was single and had to earn a livelihood, I couldn’t force myself to take a full-time job. Instead, I tried part-time positions; I worked as a temp; I did free-lance work.

Because I was always juggling several different things at once, people called me a “workaholic.” In truth, I was somebody who went to great lengths to avoid making any real work commitments.

Oh also, people get my name wrong. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, ever since I was born. Mispronouncing it in a really ugly way, because it’s not spelled phonetically. Misspelling it routinely on bills and accounts, because it’s a name no white American has ever heard of before. Can’t tell you how sick I am of it. I compliment people when they pronounce my name right on first try.

I am going through a 20 step process and shelling out about $300 to The State to change the fucking legal spelling, so people will have a chance of pronouncing it correctly.

@bookish1 Well I have to ask NOW, what is your first name?

@KNOWITALL : It’s not one you will have ever heard before, I guarantee you. I need to keep it private.

@bookish1 No problem. I’ve been around so many people of different nationalities, I don’t think anything is odd anymore. I did get to meet a woman named Spring the other day, it was interesting. She was the typical hippy/ massage/ long skirt and braid type. :)

@bookish1: May I give you a middle name of “wormish”?

I have edited this.

Bookish Warmish sounds odd though.

@KNOWITALL : Thanks. It’s just an obscure old-fashioned name from an underrepresented ethnic group in the U.S.

@gailcalled : Only if you use my first name as well, Luke Warmish ;)

That demned spell-check. I proof read, hit send and something changes.

Bookishwormish.

Here are some of my family’s weird names (this is the Ozarks btw):

Wreatha
Fontilla a/k/a Tilly
Fred & Ethel
Leeland
Wally/ Boog
Earl

See Fred and Ethel Mertz. Here

Yes, Fred and Ethel were my great great grandparents, he was born in like 1887. They raised 18 kids in a 4 room shack with no electricity. Can you say ‘nightmare’? lol

Let’s see… they take my quietness as either a desire to be left alone or that I’m painfully shy. I have also been accused of being anti-social by friends due to my preference to hang out in much smaller groups, or one-on-one which makes me feel far more at ease, rather than large parties.

I was always assumed to be a straight-A student, which I never was until last year when I entered the graduate program.

People also see me as someone very “innocent”, which is ridiculous since I don’t even believe in the term. I think this mostly boils down to the way I dress, my insistence that I neither drink nor do drugs, and the perception that I couldn’t possibly be a sexual being.

And, of course, my gender identity is the most often mistaken component of me, but I can hardly blame people for that. I’m not completely out yet.

@muppetish: people still get my gender wrong sometimes and i’ve been full time for 3 years. It’s based on so many cues, some of which are beyond our control or even awareness, and context of course.

@KNOWITALL Wow, then they are the original Fred and Ethel. I love it. I had an Aunt Fanny, that’s pretty bad. Fanny was a fairly common name for a while.