As a heterosexual white woman, being female and obese are the only things I personally get discriminated for. Only once did I overhear a couple teenage boys comment about my weight as I walked past them in the mall, and I didn’t think of a clever retort until much after the fact (“I may be fat, but I’m walking faster than you lazy-asses!”)
I am not around people who openly discriminate or verbally express bigotry very often. I might encounter an elderly patient once in a while who makes a comment indicative of intolerance, but that is not the time or place for me to get on a soapbox, unfortunately. The context is more about politics and health care in that scenario anyway. Here in NJ, the population is fairly progressive and outwardly accepting, so I don’t personally come face-to-face with bigotry.
When my son was a teen, he would comment about stuff being “gay” like all his friends did. He knows that his grandfather was a homosexual, and he knows that one of my best friends is homosexual, we were friendly with a lesbian couple that lived a couple colors down when he was younger—he’s not homophobic or intolerant. He also uses the “N-word” very casually, as part of the hip-hop culture he grew up with. His step-dad was black (we were not married, but he was in our lives from when my son was 8–15, so he has always referred to him as his step-father), and many of his friends have been black or other ethnicities. Any time I’d comment about his use of these words, he’d reply, “It’s not a big deal, Mom.”
I guess the looks we’d get when I was dating a young, tall, slender, black man was the closest I got to dealing with bigotry. Most of the looks came from black women, though. Since no one said anything to our faces, I just chose to ignore it. I guess taking the high road and teaching by example is the best way under those circumstances, so people have no reason to say anything, and hopefully through repeated exposure they will get used to the fact that there are a wide variety of people and lifestyles in the world, and as long as no one is wronging you with their behavior, you have no right or reason to wrong them.
However, homosexuality is so different, because sexual preference isn’t physically obvious as gender, ethnicity, and physical differences are. I wonder how someone would react if they made some homophobic comment, and someone in the room said, “Thank you for sharing your bigoted tendencies with us. As a homosexual, it is not always easy to tell whom I can depend on, so it is helpful to know this about you.” (or perhaps someone else could come up with a more eloquent, but still civil yet demeaning retort) I imagine this must be especially awkward for someone when the bigoted person is a colleague or client, and I think it would be helpful to discuss diplomatic ways to handle the scenario.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir – I know that you are very outspoken here on Fluther. Can you provide examples of how you’ve dealt with bigotry face-to-face? Or are you saying that by being very open about your lifestyle and opinions that you nip it in the bud?