It’s harder when you are not an adult, and don’t have as much access to transportation. But then, from what I understand, young people maintain more friendships through Facebook, these days. Though I’m not sure how that works. My daughter have hundreds of Facebook friends. She has about two friends she sees in person, and then, not very often.
Then again, when I was her age, I had about two friends, too. So maybe it’s just something that runs in the blood. We like to have serious connections with people. We are not good at the happy happy stuff. We’re good at the serious talk stuff. My daughter is pretty wise, already, and is a serious student.
After college, I had the most friends I ever had in my life. I met a lot of them at work, and some of them went to college with me. I was living in the big city. We had great parties. I had any number of lovers. Well, three or four, anyway. My best friend lived somewhere in the middle of the country. He was miserable, and after a few years found a way to come East again, where he was able to live with his lover.
I think friends are really hard. There are people who make a lot of shallow friends easily, and there are people at the other end of the spectrum who have a really hard time making very good and deep friends.
I agree with @burntbonez that it’s best to make friends doing things you love doing. All my current real life friends, including my wife, come from a dance activity I got involved in when I first came to Philadelphia. That’s why I believe in doing an activity you love, and doing it for years in order to build up a set of friends that way.
I also have a few people I know through online activities, of whom I’ve met two in real life. I maintain very important friendships with these people.
I believe that online is a good way to search through a much larger potential friend pool. You can find people more quickly who like the same narrow set of things you like. I like arts and travel and people who have a very particular kind of humor. My online friends actually get me in a way that pretty much only a couple of other people do in real life.
You meet more people online and have more people to sort through, and you can use places like fluther to find those people. Of course, usually they aren’t in your part of the country, so that can be a problem, but every once in a while they might be local. So they might become real life friends, too.
I think you have to be patient. You have to keep putting yourself out there. You have to say things you think and believe and trust that, over time, you will attract the people who can be your friends.
The male thing is an issue, of course. You’re young and beautiful and so of course guys will be attracted to you and they will want you. Your bf is probably right to be reluctant to trust you will be able to withstand their efforts to seduce you. I mean, how much can you stand up to if it’s a guy you really like, anyway? So you may have to not go down that road. I feel bad saying that. I’d like it to be possible for men and women to be friends without having to worry about other things happening, but being a guy and knowing guys, I know the desire to deepen a relationship is often there. So it would be dangerous, unless you guys are ok with open relationships.
So that’s my real advice and experience. Like I said, this isn’t easy. So you need to patient and to put a lot of work into it for the rest of your life, unless you get really lucky. You just have to keep at it, but always remember what your priorities are.