I am old, therefore in place of sex I...

…fantasize a lot.

I don’t even do that. I just read.

I’m not even 40 and I barely have sex but I do read a lot too! :)

Your profile says married.

I’m not old, but I’ll take kicking back with some beer, playing videogames in my pajamas anyday over sex.

I fluther.

I am so flunking right now.

… I have more sex than ever, the kinkier the better…

I Fluther. Fluther is SO much more interesting than Facebook. Every time I come here, I learn something new and interesting.

@Shippy Oh great. Thanks for that. Let’s all feel like shit now.

@zensky Married to a man with a lot of health problems, mostly celibate for the last six years. Yeah yeah, poor me.

therefore in place of sex…I spend a great deal of time and effort seeking out and purchasing exactly the right type of fluffy down pillow upon which to sleep instead of having sex. It’s harder than you think. Like a bedding safari.

@KNOWITALL Sorry.

@zensky Me, too, no worries I’m great at self-denial.

Probably other self stuff, too.

ha ha

keep hoping…

I’m not that old….yet.

Hands down, I have NO difficulty having sex.

Masturbate. Same as I did when I was younger. Same as I have done all my life. I am such a master baiter that you’d be surprised I don’t know how to fish.

Go to sleep, of course!

Cuddle with my cat.

I’m not old, but fuck sex. I’d rather just sleep or hatch dragons.

lol I said buttfuck

@burntbonez Well, finally, that explains your name. : )

To answer the OP…..I visit massage parlors because I heard they really, really…suck.

Wax the dolphin.

Do it anyway, since nothing really replaces sex.

I think @burntbonez is onto something here….if I couldn’t have sex or was going through a dry spell I would do the same. Take things into my own hands so to speak, lol. No shame in it, but then, as they say, moderation in all things…

@Earthgirl I don’t understand. Are you saying you masturbate yourself or that you ask the Moderators to do it for you?

I am old therefore in place of sex, I watch Downton Abbey. ( Maggie Smith is smokin ) : )

@zensky Down boy! We don’t want to lose you to moderatordom.

As for me, there is nothing that can take the place of sex. So when there is no sex…, there is nothing.

@zensky Heaven forfend!! Bringing a moderator in on such a thing would be like bringing a porn director along on your honeymoon!

Hey – you said you want moderation in all things. And a porn director at a wedding is a fantastic idea.

I did say that :)

I thought it meant applying lotion to the hand and giving it enough time to rest, no?

just remember what Augie always says, you can disagree, but don’t be disagreeable

Oh Lisa has said many things. Some of them nice.

Getting high and listening to good music. I’d gladly never get laid again if I could do that all day, instead of going to work. But I’m twenty-five, so this answer doesn’t count. ;)

I haven’t had sex in 4 years and the last time doesn’t count because it was a shocking case of micropenis. haha
Sooo, I actually haven’t had real sex with a viable penis in 5 years. lol
Meh….I’m pretty sexed out these days, of course I do have my little silver bullet and the turbo jets in the hot tub on standby. Otherwise food, movies, happy brownies and brain candy does it for me.