Have you ever had to deal with critical in-laws?

Fortunately not. My ex-husband was estranged from his horrible parents. I saw them 3 times: once when he tried to call them out on being shitty parents, and their only response was, “well, that was when we were drinking.”; once, when they caused drama at his niece’s christening; and then at his funeral.

My future in-laws a sweet as pie and I love them more than my own parents.

My fiancé is probably the first bf I’ve had that my mother approves of. She’s always been judgmental.

My first set of in-laws had this sense that I wasn’t cut from the same cloth as them – I think they meant class-wise, maybe they thought my family was more aristocratic than working class (using cultural standards in Russia and the Ukraine). They felt stupid next to me or something, they all sort of have an inferiority complex. They were critical in some senses as all parents or in-laws are in the community (Russian/Ukranian, again…it seems for certain groups of Americans, strife with in-laws is less of an issue).

Anyway, my second set of in-laws were not happy that their good little boy left his good little wife to be with some NYC person with a kid. They didn’t warm up to me then but they’re fine with me now, seeing how I gave them grandchildren.

All the In Laws I’ve ever had were wonderful with two exceptions.

My husband’s father had a reputation in the family for being difficult, but all the other family members coped with him by simply ignoring his embarrassing and obnoxious behavior.

My Son’s wife is the same way, and very verbal about it. I take her behavior very personally, but everyone else in the family has the ability to ignore her.

My MIL has had a vendetta against me for 19 years. I’ve tried everything to allay her fears/angst/dislike of me. Then I realized that she didn’t really dislike me but idea of me. That being said her trying to turn my husband and children against me hasn’t endeared her to me. She’s ended up upsetting my children to the point they don’t want to talk to her anymore. My husband has a strained relationship with her too. It’s sad because it could have been so different.

My ex-husband’s mother was dead set on hating me, before she even met me. Early on in our relationship, while he and I were talking on the phone, I heard her call me a bimbo in the background. I was so insulted! As it turns out, though, she’s just…like that, for lack of a better way to put it. Kind of mean to just about everyone (except my kids), so I realized it wasn’t something personal to me. She and I eventually became quite close and I would just tell her to knock it the hell off if she got out of line with other people. Her son and I have been divorced for 8 years, and she bought me a little gift about two weeks ago, just out of the blue. How sweet is that? I still get along great with her and my other ex-in-laws.

I had to move 800 miles away.
The best part is that I think the experience made me a much better mother in law myself. I try really hard to be respectful of my daughter in laws wishes. Especially when it comes to raising her kids.

My mother-in-law loves me like a son. Maybe more than her son. Doesn’t stop her from being critical, talking behind my back, and treating me like I’m a moron. I take it with a very large grain of salt, lots of humor, and the knowledge that, at 78, she won’t be with us much longer.

My ex-MIL was a nightmare. When we first married, she walked into our house anytime she felt like it—caught me changing clothes and watched me the whole time. Walked in on my ex husband while he was on the toilet and started a conversation. She tried to make me jealous by treating him like a boyfriend- even went as far as grabbing his butt in a sexual, not playful, way. She would call 20 times a day and whine that she was being ignored. She did everything she could to manipulate herself into a position of power mostly by ignoring boundaries, guilt tripping and playing the victim. She was a sick, insecure person and later I realized her son used the same strategies—ignoring boundaries and playing the victim. Ugh!!

In my current relationship, I love my boyfriend’s family. They have been welcoming, friendly, fun to be with, and just wonderful. I can’t say the same for my mom… sigh. I think she’s gun-shy because of my ex-marriage.

@linguaphile Gosh, she did sound strange.

@Shippy Certifiably strange. :D