Does it ever just hit you that one day even the simplest of tasks may become impossible for you?

Yes and the older I get, the more I think of it and the more it terrifies me. That is why I keep the nembutal handy!

The last time I went to help my grandmother, she had to ask me four times what date it was. She can’t get in and out of bed on her own or change her socks. In two generations, that will be me.

Ha, I have already reached the point where I can’t clip my toenails. My husband is happy to do it for me. A few years back, I developed swollen ankles and I had to rent an electric wheelchair to take the grandkids to theme parks. The issue was resolved when my doctor put me on medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol. I do expect to reach a point where I will again need walking aids.

It isn’t that much of a trauma to me, because I’ve gone through life having to ask for help for various things, being too short to reach high, and not being able to run fast or strong enough to open most new bottles and jars.

I need help cutting roast beef or other meats into slices, and I often need help washing the large pots I use for cooking. It’s always been very difficult for me to rake leaves or do other yard chores, and I have no hesitation asking for help.

I used to pay someone to cut my hair, although that was years ago, and I do that myself now. I have always paid someone to do simple maintenance on my cars – something my Dad used to do himself.

Since I’ve been living with my uncle for the past two winters as a sort of evening caretaker and companion, it has been brought home to me with more force than just “thinking about it” can accomplish. Yes, I am very much aware that my current less-than-they-once-were capabilities will be dwindling. I’m not so much terrified and horrified (maybe I’m just not thinking about those pending losses enough!) as I am considering “now” what I might have to do “then” when those things occur.

But I’m doing that consideration a lot. For one example, at some point I will probably want to move into a one-level (ground level) home so that I don’t have to deal with stairs to the basement for laundry.

It definitely bears thinking about!

Growing old does terrify me. Simply because I spent a large portion of my life around old people. I think it forms a huge basis of my depression. But it need not be like that, I try to inspire myself with older people who are living fun lives. Like these.

Some are NSFW – Please be aware

Betty Dodson

Mimi Kirk vegetarian

Christine Le Monde

Betty is 84, Mimi is over 72 and Christine is over 50

Sure. I’ll probably be completely blind before turn 70, and that’s a conservative estimate. The idea of living the end of my life unable to read or write is terrifying.

Whataya mean “one day” !!! There’s an endless list of things I can’t do, like to do or want to do since I turned… well… let’s just say since I started turning older, including running, lifting heavy objects, reading small print, sleeping through the night, cooking (no patience for that anymore), driving after sunset, assembling stuff from instructions, and being attractive to young women.

Maybe I should have left off the word “young” and just said “being attractive to women” period.

Oh god yes . . . it’s horrible. While I have a long list of issues, the one that I’m most consumed with today is the loss of strength in my hands. I simply can’t open jars (as as example) like I could two years ago. I’ve got gadgets to assist, but the thought of losing so much strength and dexterity is awful.

I’ll consider myself lucky if I live to my 60s. Without kidney disease or blindness.

I don’t ever take health or ability for granted.

Definitely. I’ve seen it with my mother. She can’t do anything for herself anymore. Even going to the toilet is fraught with danger.

It’s a use it or lose it thing. You need to stay active and work the body and the mind. I’ve watched elders just become lumps in a chair, and that’s what they end up being, lumps.

Oh I’m aware, faaaar too aware. For a 20 year old I have a pretty good idea of what getting older is going to be like. During times of great illness, I have learned: what it’s like to be unable to stand or walk on my own, to lose mental acuity and have trouble thinking clearly, to be in pain all the time, to have no appetite, and to depend on others for the smallest things. It sucks. I want to die before it happens to me.

@Mariah Be a little tough. You’ve been through so so much. Try to dig down deep.

I know exactly what you mean, @Mariah, but only by direct observation, not experience. I watch the decline of my once-vibrant and sharp uncle, who often cannot even bring to mind the simplest words and terms that he knows, has always known. He can barely walk, sleeps all the time but is never rested, and on… and on.

He wants to die, and I don’t blame him. But his body wants to live, and does so, and remarkably well despite its owner’s wishes.

I don’t want to get to that point. As much as I miss my father, I’m glad – but for his sake only – that he died one night after a fall at his home. That was that. No long decline (though he had lived a long life, until 80, and he had his share of various limitations), but he was very much in life until he lost it that night. That is certainly the way to go.