How important is being on time with your SO?

I’m always on time. He, on the other hand, has no sense of time. “I’ll be done in an hour” can easily mean 2 or 3 hours. It’s his worst quality.

We both believe being on time is very important.

Yes, I always try to keep to time whoever or whatever it is.

It is not that important to me. I’m really bad at being on time, I’m very often late, so I couldn’t be mad at other people for doing something I do myself.

My husband has no concept of time. I’m going to carve “I’ll be back in five minutes” on his tombstone.

I’m the one with one eye on the clock at all times.

I am always on time and would have great difficulty being with someone who wasn’t. If I am supposed to be there at 10 and you don’t hear from me by 10:10, start calling the hospitals.

I was raised by a couple of Type A neurotics. I am chronically early, whether it’s to a class, a work meeting, a doctor’s appointment, or a party. Sometimes I have to circle the block so I don’t show up forty minutes early to a social engagement!

I’d have to really love someone to put up with constant tardiness. Frenchy was always late when we were trying to meet up this summer. Hours late, sometimes. You know what, I just took it. Mmhmm…

I tend to run late in life in general, but my husband is right on time always, which means early. Let’s face it, to be on time, you have to be early, or you risk being late.

I do my best to be on time for him when he is waiting for me somewhere, and I am successful around 90% of the time. If we are getting ready together to leave the house, then I tend to run 5–10 minutes late, and have recently tried to give him a window of time when to leave. For instance I might say let’s leave between 1:30–1:45. But, since he is a punctual person I don’t think it really works well. About a year ago I tried to make a contract with myself to always be ready 10 minutes early for my husband, but I haven’t succeeded in that very well.

I try my hardest to be on time for everything and everyone. I hate being late and don’t prioritise certain people over others, being on time for my boyfriend is very important as is being on time for everyone else. My boyfriend is the same as your partner @livelaughlove21 he also has no sense of time. Everything is “I’ll be 5 mins” and 5 minutes can mean anything from actually 5 minutes or 5 hours.

@Leanne1986 If you boyfriend is always late, doesn’t you being on time get very frustrating?

It seems to me people attach a moral component to being on time. Being late means the person shows a lack of respect for the other person’s time. I actually agree it is a lack of respect in some cases. Anyway, my question is, wouldn’t it be easier for you if you relaxed about being on time when meeting up with your SO, since I assume he is going to keep you waiting for him otherwise?

@JLeslie Yes, it probably would be easier for me to be more relaxed but I just can’t seem to bring myself to be. It’s not like it causes a problem in our relationship, I am always waiting for him but seeing as his time keeping is a minor flaw amongst a long list of things that I love about him, I can easily let it go. I won’t lower my standards because of it though so I will continue to be on time!

I would be on time for my SO or a friend or an appointment, unless I knew the person would be late.

We are both punctual. I got tired of being the first one there all the time, so I stopped rushing and am more relaxed time-wise now. I have friends who are always late; one because she is inaccurate in figuring the travel time, the other because she won’t leave the house unless things are all neat and tidy. My sink may be full of dishes, but being on time is more important than a neat kitchen.

Being reasonably punctual is important to me in all my relationships. I am almost always impeccably on time or slightly early.
A few minutes no biggy, but chronic lateness is also often a sign of passive aggressive resistance to feeling controlled and also a trait of a lot of perceiving types that just sort of fly by the seat of their pants and are easily distracted.
I cope much better with the ditzy distractable types than I do the passive aggressive control freaks. lol

@Leanne1986 If it doesn’t bother you, then fine with me, I don’t see a reason to convince you to change. The only warning I would give is I know very few late people who ever change and become punctual, and little bothersome things become bigger as the relationship becomes more serious. A wife who often does not get the kids to school on time, a husband who causes his wife to be late to an important work party, racing through traffic to get to the airport, etc. But, there are people like me who run late, unless they know it is very important to be on time and then we can pull it together, your SO might very well be like that. I was always very on time until I dated a guy in high school who was chronically late. I think it was part culture and part selfishness. Eventually I relaxed and was lateish like him when doing things with him, and my whole idea of on time changed a little.

I feel like being late or being early is as much a part of someone’s personality as anything else….I have always been a little bit late. I get it from my mom, maybe? She’s always late. My dad is extremely punctual, even early often, which I find more annoying than lateness. My boyfriend is similar to me. Usually he is a little later than he says he’ll be. I can’t get annoyed with it even when I want to cause I am the same way. My ex used to be extreme about it though. “Be home in an hour” was regularly 3 hours. That would upset me because how are we supposed to make plans, or what if I’ve made dinner? Now its 2 hours old. I don’t think it’s a big deal either way though as long as it’s not life or death.

I’m always ready at around the right time but usually a little late. It doesn’t bother him and really, I don’t want to live my private life being dictated to by a clock. So unless it’s for an appointment where we shouldn’t be late – I don’t stress about it and neither does he.

@Bellatrix Exactly. I prefer to live with the speed of life, instead of the speed of a clock.

I’m a man of my word. If I say I am going to be somewhere at a certain time, I will be there or something pretty drastic happened to keep me away. It isn’t just time. Any commitment I make, I will keep, unless something really drastic gets in the way, like an illness or accident or natural disaster.

My wife is pretty much the same, and since we are generally together, it’s not a big deal to keep time commitments. But I see it as a matter of politeness and consideration not to keep someone waiting. I know I hate it when I am kept cooling my heels.

@JLeslie I don’t expect him to change, we’ve been together a long time and I can only ever remember having one row about it. I am relaxed enough not to let it bother me but I always make sure I have a good book in my bag or some good game apps on my time to occupy me when I am waiting for him!!!!