@livelaughlove21 : Thank you for calmly explaining your position. I posted those questions earlier this morning before I had had coffee, and later on I regretted that I might have come across too harshly. I think we have the same goals, but we are thinking about them in different ways.
I do agree with your thought that to suggest that homosexuality/not-being-straight-ness is a ‘choice’ can fuel homophobic arguments. This is the reality of the world we live in.
The problem as I see it is that Gay Inc (the mainstream and assimilationist “LGBT movement” in the U.S.) is playing to the lowest common denominator (arguably, they have to, if their goal is to counter the claims of social conservatives who decry homosexuality as an abominable choice, etc). If they bawl loudly enough that ‘being gay’ (that is, pursuing arrangements outside of heterosexuality) is not a choice but is something programmed into us, maybe the system will grudgingly let us slip in. Because they hope that we will disappear and stop making them uncomfortable.
Myself, I do not care for the term ‘sexual orientation’ because it presents sexual practices as an immutable and essential identity. This idea had to be historically cultivated; it is not natural or self-evident that the kind of sex you have indicates what kind of person you are. I vastly prefer thinking of sexual practices as just that… practices. They don’t necessarily mean anything about you as a person. Your interests and preferences can change. For example, I have known so many guys who consider themselves straight, would never date a guy, etc., who will nevertheless look at gay porn, fool around with guys, check them out, etc. In fact, I think that the system of rigid inescapable categories we have actually fuels homophobia. Because the way to prove you’re ‘not gay’ is to be misogynistic and homophobic. I am oversimplifying here, but I have seen examples of this time and time again.
I have literally been all over the ‘spectrum,’ from a gay female to bi/pansexual, to a pansexual guy, and now I am much more interested in men and can’t really fathom having a relationship or even an encounter with a woman. But I’m open to the possibility of this changing again in the future. These traits changed based on the phase in my life, the hormones I was most influenced by, my past experiences, and how I perceived my own gender and was perceived. I consider these labels of sexuality to be descriptive rather than prescriptive for me. They describe tendencies, not something innate about me. Like @Shippy, I prefer to think of these traits as a preference. And I’ve known people, even friends of mine, to become very frustrated and confused when I refused to neatly and categorically state my “identity” or “orientation” for them.
But this is why Gay Inc tends to stay away from more complex views of sexuality…It takes away power from their political arguments in a very hostile environment.