What is the weirdest thing that anyone has ever said to you?

“Your head looks like an acorn.” I guess it does, kind of.

People say weird things to me all the time. I guess either they are weird or I am. It’s usually about me so…. I don’t know. Sigh!

Once when I was tickling my wife she said, “You just tickled the liquid out of me.”

I know that’s not the weirdest thing anyone’s ever said to me, it just happens to be the weirdest thing I can think of right now. Nice question.

“I ought to call the cops on you…you don’t do that to people’s kids!”

After I showed some 10 year old my tongue piercing while in line at the post office.

This was in the mid 90’s…don’t have anything pierced at the moment :D

One time I was at the grocery store, and out of the blue, this guy came up to me and asked me if a certain shampoo would make his hair grow longer or something strange like that. I didn’t even work at that store.

The first one that comes to mind is… the last time I was flying back to the States from India, I sat next to a nice Sikh man the whole time. One of the first things he asked me (as a way of inquiring about my general health) was how many bowel movements I have per morning.

Global warming isn’t real.

This isn’t necessarily weird, but it’s certainly a head-scratcher: “What time is the 3-o’clock parade?” (you’d be surprised at how often this question gets asked where I work, and no, they’re not kidding when they ask). Go figure.

I don’t know about the absolute weirdest but a colleauge told me that I looked very “Peruvian” the other day! I couldn’t really work out why though.

@jordym84, do you work with a mouse???

I worked in advertising, so. having weird things said to me was normal.

But outside of work, a weird thing was said to me years ago by, of all people, a Rabbi’s wife. A mutual friend had invited us both to lunch so I could pitch my freelancing writing services, and the three of us were chatting pleasantly along when suddenly, out of the clear blue, she leaned over and said, “Are you gay?” I was stunned but managed to muster the temerity to say no and then to ask her why she asked. She said, “Because you’re in your 40s and not married.” Never mind that I was divorced and dating the woman who had introduced us—I just thought it was incredibly weird and rude for a stranger to ask such a question.

My little brother was strange. (He died several years ago.)
He was drunk so I don’t know if this counts. He overheard me giving someone advice and he butted in and said,” You really need to listen to her! I didn’t listen to her once and I got a scab because of it!”
It might be one of those “you had to have been there” moments but at the time it was hilarious. For the next several years when he and I argued I would say, “you better listen to be or you will get a scab because of it!”

The daughter, when she was 20, of Dear Abby, came to a party as the date of a friend of ours. I was the hostess.

After we had been introduced and chatted for a bit, she asked, “Who did your nose?”

Years later she took over her mother’s advice column.

My wife says weird things to me regularly, but I can’t remember any specifics. Usually she’ll find herself saying something weird, and break out laughing. She’s a lot funnier now that she isn’t working.

My ex boyfriend, we were together for a couple years, traveled a lot, had an overall pretty good relationship, broke up mutually and with no hard feelings. He moved a couple states away to be with his new girlfriend, our goodbye (this was about 3 months after breaking up) was positive and friendly and goodhearted as well. Just about a month ago, after I texted him out of the blue to wish him a happy Hanukkah, he replied “Thanks Deni! yada yada….But please, let’s continue keeping out of contact. It helps me look toward the future.” I gawked at that one for a while. This came up in conversation with a few different friends as well and everyone agreed, it was just a fucking weird thing to say. Then they all told me how weird they thought he was all along. So that was interesting.

@deni Clever guy! I like his sense of humor. You realize he was gently teasing you for not contacting him more, right?

My son was in HS and in a silly mood. We were driving to an appointment to see a new psychiatrist. We were being silly in the car and he looked over at me and said, “BARK.” He didn’t make the sound, he said the word. I just looked at him and said “you’re strange“and we both laughed.
When we got to the appointment I guess my son decided to mess with the doctor. He was walking around looking at things instead of sitting down. When he finally sat down the doctor asked, “Does he ever bark?”
We both almost started rolling on the floor laughing. I’m sure he was assured that day that my sons psychiatric problems were genetic. Little did he know we were just having a silly day.
My son didn’t end up clicking with that doctor so we didn’t stay with him long.

@wundayatta I don’t think so! When I saw him briefly in the summer, he was passing through town, he said VERY seriously “I’d like to stay out of contact with you for six months. I’m sure you understand.”....I thought that was weird too…we shared a cat and I at least wanted to send him a few pics of him every once in a while. So I did, he wouldn’t respond though. Then, that message was about 8 months after. I never responded to him because I thought it was such a bizarre thing to say….and, he was kind of a weirdo lol.

“My number one goal in life is to be enclosed in an arena or stadium type place, fighting a rhinoceros while driving a Hummer, and all I get is a lasso. There will come a day when I am rich enough to accomplish this.”

@Judi I do work with a mouse (well, for a mouse) ;)

@jordym84, we leave for Florida on Friday. 2 days at Universal then 3 days at the Yacht Club. Love hangin’ with the mouse.

I love the Yacht Club, it’s one of my favorite ones here! And wow that’s really exciting. I, too, love hanging with the mouse (and working for him too).

I don’t know about the weirdest thing, but one thing comes to mind from earlier today. Fairly sure it qualifies.

I’m a freelance translator. (And my rates are on the inexpensive side for the languages I do. I’m modest with them because I haven’t been doing this for very long yet. Colleagues tell me earning twice my rate isn’t uncommon.)
I’ve been negotiating with an until-recently-prospective client who just told me he’d like me to do the work for less than one seventh of the rate I suggested.
To be clear: he didn’t say “sorry, you’re outside our budget, no deal.” He said “we’d like you to do it for 13% of the money, is that okay too?” Yeah. Is the Pope a Hindu?

And this isn’t some poor old lady who has to choose between Christmas presents for her grandkids or a new hip. We’re talking about corporate outsourcers here, asking me to translate an e-shop selling expensive sports equipment going all the way go up to € 6000 apiece.

I’m told that kind of audacity – not to mention bewilderingly unreasonable cheapskatery – is alarmingly common in the field.
If this doesn’t seem strange to you, imagine asking your plumber for a discount just because you don’t feel like paying that much.