Parents: How do you prepare your older sibling for a new sibling?

Good question. I have an (almost) 2 year old, and my wife is due in November as well. I have heard that a good thing to do is to make the older child feel special and to enlist their “help” in picking things out, making arrangements, etc. I am eager to see other peoples’ responses though, as my wife and I are very concerned that our rampaging 2 year old won’t quite understand what’s happening.

Well the son that u have try to tell him that things are going to change a liitle bit, and that he is going to have a share more…most kids that have a new sibling feel like u don’t care that much about them anymore, make it clear that…thats not the case.

put it in kid terms for him and make it all about him. say you have a new baby coming for him. will he be a good brother to baby? will he take care of baby? baby will look up to him and love him. he must take care of baby and love her back. is he excited for baby? baby is all for him. once the new baby arrives, make sure the boy doesn’t feel left out. Include him in activities with the baby. If you don’t do this, it is very likely he will develop and fester feelings of jealousy and hatred toward the baby. The two kids i babysit right now, the 3.5 year old boy keeps trying to suffocate the baby! So be careful that you lay this whole thing out as its about him and the baby, not you and the baby. I hope this makes sense. Congrats on the new kid, take care of yourself !!

Here’s advice I give the parents I counsel: A first child is not going to understand the concept of sharing his/her parents ahead of time, just like you can’t imagine what it’s like to have a child before the baby is born. When the baby is born, create lots of very special time with the father and the firstborn. Let the mother and infant have their time together, but the father and child can have special dinners together, special events. At the same time, all the stuff the baby gets, give to the older one—he can unwrap the presents, and anything he likes, let him have. The other stuff he doesn’t want, he can “give” to the baby. If he’s old enough for friends, make sure his life continues as it was. The baby needs to be a nice addition, with as little disruption as possible. But most of all, it’s the father time.

I have no advice, as I never had a second child; but I want to say: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

I saw a great suggestion here on Fluther a while back. When visitors come to see the new baby (relatives or friends), ask them ahead of time to bring something for the older child if they are bringing something for the baby, and to go and greet the older child and make a fuss for a few minutes BEFORE approaching the new baby.

I’m an older sibling, with a four year gap from my brother.
I could have easily been a jealous kid, but my parents did something pretty smart, which I still remember to this day.

Just before my brother was born my mum and I made a special trip to the handicraft stall and bought this sew-up tiger, which was going to be my “daughter.”
So when my brother was born my tiger, was “born” too. The nurses gave tiger a wrist tag with her name, whom I named Howich, just like my baby brother (Homei) had.

I think looking after my tiger diverted my attention and made my brother seem like a parallel project, rather than competition. =)

I remember my mother was taking care of my brother’s little girl, she was the only one, when all of a sudden one day she found my mom pampering another little boy, my brother’s second sibling, then the little girl 3 yrs old at the time told my mom: “leave that ugly crocodile alone” ............... man that was too funny, I still crack up to this day. The little girl is now 16 yrs old. Of course she doesn’t remember ever saying that.
Like shilolo said the best thing to do is to make the older sibling be part of the helping team to assist the little one just coming into the world by giving her responsibilities of what she would be in charge to help her little brother. You will need to remind her that once she was as little as the new baby coming is now. She will be proud to help out.

We let our soon pick out a gift for the new baby (and for himself) to bring to the hospital. I am sure you have heard/read What to Expect When You’re Expecting? Well, they have a kid version of it…What to Expect When the New Baby Comes Home by Heidi Murkoff. We read this a lot and he loved it! Congrats and good luck…

That would be son…sorry!

Thanks to each and every one of you for the responses. They are each helpful, warm and some of them funny.

Update…April 2010..Our littlest one was born October 30, 2008. Thank you for all your answers and help! Our first one adjusted around Thanksgiving 2008 when he realized she was part of the family thanksgiving table not a baby we picked up from somewhere. And we gave the oldest a big toy the day she was born saying it was from his little sister. :)