What does your stomach 'say' to you?

What does my stomach say to me? How about “Keep eating those burritos for lunch, and we’ll be playing hide and seek with your dick.”

Well, with the hernia patch in my tummy area not yet healed, this is about what mine seems to be saying.

My stomach likes to tell lies about being hungry. Also it scolds me for skipping a meal now and then (like I’m going to starve to death). It complains about every little thing that it is not happy about like: I ate too much; I didn’t eat enough; I ate too much fatty food; I ate something bad, etc. Fortunately when I won’t swallow it’s BS, it shuts up.

My gut reaction tells me to answer this question seriously, however…
Sometimes when i’m really famished the sounds coming from my stomach are similar to the mating call of a fucking whale, think dory’s impression in Finding Nemo.

I ain’t got much up there. ’‘knocks on head, is met with hollow sound’’

So I’m pretty much just a flaming savage who understand naught but the most primal of languages. I know when I’m hungry, I know when I’ve had enough, I know when it’s time to evacuate and I know when I have to lay down and rest, if my poor stomach met a bit of a hindrance in its digestion process. It’s also pretty good at giving me cravings for things that my body might need in a jiffy, like water or people pieces.
Being an alcoholic for a number of years made me tell my stomach, and liver, to fuck off for a while…but I like listening to my body, and I’m thankful for it now. (I slip up a lot actually, but I no longer wash out important body signs with more beer) Although sometimes at night, my stomach is all like, you will grab that turkey kniiife…and you will fuck up the neighbor’s fence with iiiiit…do it nooooow!

Do it noooooooooow!!

@Symbeline – so your stomach tells you to fuck up your neighbor’s fence??? Doesn’t it like your neighbors or their fence?

It tells me I’m hungry even when I’m not. And when I try to please it, it isn’t afraid to let me know I’ve gone to far.

I don’t understand why people are so apologetic about their tummy rumblings. It’s no big deal to me. Maybe because mine does it all the time, and there’s no telling why. It should be rumbling now because I’m hungry, but it ain’t. Anyway, I think tummy rumbling is kind of sweet.

My stomach tells me…..“Don’t forget that you’re a diabetic and that you need to eat intelligently and healthy. Everything in moderation.”

Sometimes I wish my stomach was unable to talk. =(

Reading this question made mine growl.

Ode to the power of humanity.

Right now my stomach’s all like, aaah, that Subway sandwich was just what I needed.

Was it a Jared ahh?