I just saw David Schwimmer in The Uprising (2001), a fairly faithful drama depicting the tragic creation and annihilation of the Jewish Ghetto by the Nazis in Warsaw during WWII. It was Schwimmer’s chance at a great, meaty dramatic role as a young Polish intellectual trying to save himself and his fellow Jews under the cruel, constant, deadly threat by the Nazis ocupation.
The guy CANNOT ACT. He “acts“like just what he is; a privilege little southern California dilettante, a slacker who lucked out and landed the Friends sitcom role, which, I suppose he was suited for. It is incredible, with all the professional drama, elocution and voice coaches made available to him, he still sounded like a kid from Malibu. (His resume lists him as, among other things, a voice actor!)
There was no attempt to alter his hard R’s, no attempt at a change in speech pattern. The Slavic accent is one of the world’s easiest to emulate after you’ve been around a Pole for a few days—or an hour and a half watching Oscar Homolka in I Remember Mama. Still in cutie-pie mode from his sitcom success in the ‘90s, Schwimmer totally fucked up and actually was able to distract from the gravitas of this story due to his immaturity – my guess is that, at 47, he is permanently so. I expected him to break out in Valleygirlspeak/Netleet at any moment (OMG! Gag me with a spoon! The Nazi’s are having a cow and shelling the Ghetto! WTF?).
Radha Mitchell’s accent wasn’t much better, but at least she can act. Don’t these people even have to try? Hank Azaria carried the film despite of Schwimmer’s inability to find his way off the Friends set. Azaria is a fantastic actor, with much less training and body of work than Schwimmer. The difference is that Azaria takes his job seriously, especially in a role within a true tragedy as universally poignant as this. Schwimmer, on the other hand, is insulting to watch.
Off hand, I would say Pia Zadora was the worst actress given a cherry role in my lifetime. At least Jayne Mansfield was funny once you got it that she was spoofing Marilyn Monroe.