When deciding to tackle your problems/get better, is it normal to feel a sense of anger?

It might be normal… but not as effective as working towards a positive way of thinking while you work to improve things.

I’m thinking that I need to get angry, at first, to pull me out of this. To move forward.

Are you talking about therapy? If so yes. The process of therapy can be very uncomfortable, as old feelings emerge. But there are different types of therapy. So if you are discussing the past or problems today, caused by the past it is difficult. It gets easier.

This

I’m normally a very easy-going guy. Many years ago on a Zen retreat, working hard at getting past my nonsense, I was surprised to see a strong angry edge take shape. I brought this up with my teacher, and he told me that this was a recognized and welcome development in doing this kind of work. “Angry determination” it’s called in Zen circles. That spirit is the basis for imagery like this.

It’s a powerful form of energy that can be harnessed to get work done.

Sounds a little weird, but anger can be good as part of the process.

Wouldn’t surprise me. Anger is a stage in mourning, and mourning can happen not only when someone passes away, but for any type of loss. Facing your problems can also involve letting go of some things. Anger can be very useful as long as it is not out of control or harmful, and the heightened anger feelings should be temporary if they are part of a healthy recovery.

Also, anger can be motivating and energizing.

Yes. You are rebelling against everything you are. You are deciding to be another you and the current you isn’t so happy about it.

Admitting you actually have a problem is the hardest thing and the most important.

My niece used the phrase “productive unease” to me a few months ago. I find that a helpful concept.

Yes, that is how it works for me. I have to get angry at myself mostly and then I go ahead and tackle what it is that should have been dealt with ages ago!

It sounds perfectly understandable to me. You have probably suppressed a whole range of emotions and avoided analysing things that have happened in your life too deeply. Now you are starting to look at times in your life or the behaviour of certain people from a very analytical perspective. You are probably becoming aware of and starting to acknowledge how these things/people have affected you and your life. So, if the events and people have had a negative effect I think it’s fairly normal for you to feel anger as your emotions are awoken to this awareness. You can now work through that anger with your therapist and find ways to manage that anger and use it productively.

I find it to be normal as you find the solutions to your problems and think I wish I knew that long ago. You can’t change what is done, your can change what happens now. You should pat yourself on the back for dealing with your problems head on instead of letting it get worse. Anger is healthy but not on a daily basis. It consumes a person.

From my own experience, anger is a great motivator until it consumes you. Just to clarify – not anger in a sense of hate, but as a powerful driving force.

Whatever it is that makes you angry, use it as fuel.

Believe it or not I am paraphrasing Will Smith here :)