Have you done anything really stupid but harmless lately?

I had some left -over scraps from a sandwich & decided to toss them into the garden for the birds.. unfortunately, I let go of the plate too, shattering it on the yard, clumsy bugger!

How about driving with double vision? Trying to decide which car is the right one to go by.

When I was rushing I grabbed the three hole punch in a bad way and dropped dots of paper all over the carpet in my home office just as I was getting ready to leave the house so potential buyers culd come through.

I don’t do things like that often.

However, lately I have done all too many dumb things that have caused me some harm. I’m on a roll for some reason.

Tripped on my cat, sneezed and hit someone with my head, dropped my keys twice in the same 30 seconds, hit my eye with my knee… Yup, stupid things happen all the time, aaaall the time.

Twice lately I’ve thrown pants into the washer without checking the pockets. First, I washed my cell phone. I tried to revive it, but when I finally turned it on it displayed a lovely image on the screen that looked for all the world like big puffy clouds with sunlight streaming through. It was as if it was sending me a message from the beyond…“I’ve gone to a better place. Here’s a pic”.

Then I washed my wallet. The cash and cards survived, but the wallet itself, plus some receipts I was saving, were ruined.

Well, I am the keeper of the key to the secure shredding bin. The guys came today to empty it and take the stuff away to be shredded securely.

I couldn’t find the damn key to save my life.

They left.

Immediately after the truck pulled away, I found the key. It was stuck to my magnetic work ID tag, in my desk drawer. So, of course, when I picked up the ID tag to look under it, the key was literally in my hand and I didn’t see it.

This just happened. I feel incredibly stupid.

EDIT::

Also, I often go on mad hunts for my eyeglasses while they are perched securely on my face.

I’ve had a rash of credit card losses recently. My bank is quite accustomed to printing new cards for me.

And naturally I’ve found some cards after I had them replaced. :( :(

I lost my beautiful, geriatric blue clamshell phone when it apparently fell out of my unzipped purse (I swear I will never do that again) onto the seat of the car and then onto the pavement.

Since I got my money’s worth from the old phone, I didn’t mind replacing it; talking to the Verizon salesmen was just as nightmarish as it had been in 2006. (Hello, Gail? Is it all right if I call you Gail? No? I apologize. How are you today? Oh, you don’t discuss your health with strangers? Sorry, I apologize, Gail. Is it all right if I call you Gail?)

And just as I have miraculously
all my socks matched in pairs, I find I am missing several right hand gloves and single earrings.

I let this guy named Mr. Bean bake a cake in my kitchen. While my ailing Grandma sitting in a wheelchair watched. It’s fine, she lived. : )

I was busy parked in the park, jerking off in my car, when a cop walks up.

Boy did I feel stupid!

The other day everything was going wrong. I just kept messing up. It started with me getting out of school and going directly to the grocery store. I got all my groceries packed into the car. When I got home my roommate helped put them away and we talked about getting one last burger before I went vegetarian for lent. I realized that I left my purse in the Wal-Mart shopping cart. Me and him bolted out the door back to the store. Luckily it was dark, and nobody had seen it! We got our burgers and went home. He asked for some ketchup, and as I reached for it I spilled my coke all over the living room carpet. After that he had thrown an unopened ketchup packet at my brother. I didn’t know this, and so when I went to throw away my trash I stepped on it and it burst across the carpet. All I could do was laugh it all off and clean it up until I realized that the tiniest bit of soap had stained the carpet even more than the ketchup would have if I had just let it set there to dry, then clean it.

It was an odd day and very rare. I didn’t understand what the heck was going on with me. I was just glad I got my purse back!!

I have cheater glasses parked in every room of my house, plus 2 in my purse, and 1 in my car. So a few nights ago, I park my tired arse on my bed and picked up my nice warm laptop in anticipation of checking Fluther. But my glasses were not on my night stand. So I literally traipsed up and down the stairs, searching every single room of the house. All the other glasses were there, I even had a pair on my head from when I was downstairs reading something. After the third go round, I remembered that I had been eating a bowl of peanuts the night before, and that bowl was on my night stand. Right before I went to bed, I pushed it aside, so that I would not accidentally knock it over (full of shells) with a pillow during the night. Guess what? I also knocked my glasses into the trash receptacle. I never would have looked in there had I not retraced my steps.

Poured coffee creamer into the coffee bean grinder.

I forgot about this one. I had a coffe mug filled with hot water sitting next to a small bowl of yogurt. I went to spoon instant coffee into the coffee mug, but dumped it into the yogurt instead. I should have tried it, maybe it would have tasted good.

Cut my thumb just now – working the meat for chulent. Darn.

My day is not complete unless I do something stupid and harmless. It is an everyday goal.

While putting away groceries, I left an avocado on the counter so I could put it on my sandwich. It rolled behind the toaster, and I didn’t find it until a week had passed, and it was covered in mold.

Something completely harmless, if you don’t count feeling utterly moronic: I was home alone, surfing the internet, when it started to snow. Looking out, I gave God (or whoever, since I don’t believe in him) an enthusiastic thumbs-up, saying, “Yeah. Snow!” Why?

I just dropped my Droid on my bare foot. My day is complete.

I locked myself out of my apartment and had to wait for my neighbor came home so I could call a locksmith and pay him $300 to put in a new lock.. I did this twice in 2 months. It will never happen again. That’s what I said after the first time. Now my neighbor has the key and I’ve hidden another so well that people can’t find it even when I tell them where it is.