He kissed me and now he's distancing himself?
Asked by
hjoo1 (
75
)
February 25th, 2013
from iPhone
So I met this guy 3 weeks ago in a bar. He came up and talked to me first. When I was about to leave, he asked for my number and so I gave it to him. After that night, we started texting each other. He would text me almost every night, and we talked about everything, he showed a little interest and flirted with me. I asked whether he has a girlfriend and he told me he as a girlfriend but is out of country, and he told me that long distance is very hard, he feels like giving up. few days later, he asked me out for a drink at the bar, but I told him its not a good idea because he has a girlfriend but he told me, ” it’s not like I’m going to cheat on her with you”. So I agreed, and we met last Saturday night at the bar. We were just talking and laughing. He started to come closer to me, hold my hands, cuddled with me and eventually he kissed me. To be honest, I like this guy a lot. So I didn’t really reject that kiss. The next morning, I texted him and asked if he’s okay from all the alcohol and he said he’s fine. He apologized for what he had done last night ( the kiss ). And he started to distance himself after that. It’s been days since I last received his text. I wanted to text him first but I don’t feel like bothering him because I can actually feel that he is distancing himself. What should I do? Should I text him and ask him about it? I like him a lot and have been thinking about him.
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15 Answers
Hey, welcome to Fluther.
If he’s in a monogamous relationship, and most people are unless they tell you otherwise, you should let him go. Because he already has a girlfriend.
And you don’t deserve to get entangled with someone who would cheat on his girlfriend. Because he might just turn around and cheat on you some day.
As @bookish1 said, he is in another relationship. And he is realizing he almost went way too far, so he has backed off and decided to stay with his girlfriend.
Time to let go and move on to someone available.
@bookish1 @zenvelo thank you so much :’) that helps a lot! I guess I know what to do now.
Stay away. He feels guilty because he DID cheat by kissing you. Maybe he’ll call you if he breaks up with his girlfriend.
He’s probably distancing himself because he feels guilty for basically cheating on his girlfriend. I wouldn’t take it personally.
He’s got a girlfriend. Back off and move on.
I think you know the answer – leave him to it and find someone who is available.
Well, that scuppered any notion of leaving a sensible answer on here then.
They’re all right. I suspect he is regretting his actions from the night before and has begun to act on that regret by distancing himself from you to be on the safer side of not erring twice from the path he already left last night. Eventually he might cheat again, otherwise he wouldn’t have kissed you in the first place if he were really that committed to his girlfriend. Alcohol or no alcohol, there should never be any excuses for cheating on someone.
Well looks like I just said something sensible…ha.
Not much I can add here. Except to say he doesn’t sound available. So personally I wouldn’t waste my time. Its kind of a “put me right of him” factor, if a guy is taken. pity all women don’t think that way
He has a girlfriend. What are you doing spending time with him and kissing him? Give it up and move on!
Probably what happened after he kissed you is he spoke to his girlfriend overseas and reconnected with her. That made him feel guilty, and perhaps also like it might be possible for him to maintain the long distance relationship. And if it wasn’t that, there was something that made him realize the value of his existing relationship, even if it was hard.
On the other hand, it would not be that much of a surprise if he shows up in a while, claiming that his relationship is over, and would you like to date him?
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