When you dump someone, do you give him or her closure? Why or why not?

I always wanted an explanation when dumped, but rarely did I get any satisfaction. When I broke up with someone, I think I gave a decent explanation. But I don’t think it always satisfied.

I would want to know why too, but it has rarely happened that way. But I’m also guilty of doing the same thing.

It’s always been pretty mutual and no explanations were necessary. We never broke up with anger.

They deserve to know why I am ending it.

If I share my most intimate thoughts, ideas, secrets and fears with another. If I have loved a person, spent time with them shared my body and soul. I do expect a formal break up. Being dumped can have disastrous psychological effects that can last for years.

Because in this generation and this society we dispose of people quite quickly I feel the pain and suffering caused to people is underestimated.

I’ve never dumped anyone. I’ve been dumped several times with absolutely no explanation whatsover and it has colored my world in a negative way. Did I do something wrong, were we not compatible (even though it seemed like we were)? Was he not happy? If so, why not? Why did he persue me for so long and then when I finally succummed, he immediately dumped me? Was he bisexual? Couldn’t just be satisfied with one person? Was I too fat, too thin, too boring, to conventional, too weird? Too predictable, too “out there”? Did I have an annoying laugh/voice/sense of humor? What? What? What?

I’d like to hear the real truth about why I was being dumped. One of them turned out to be cheating on me with an aquaintance, ouch! 2 of them, I suspect were gay or bisexual and had no intention of having a one on one relationship with anyone. One of them dumped me to be with another woman who recently came into a large inheritence. He didn’t tell me that, I found out through others. I would rather hear the truth, no matter how ugly, rather than to saddle the whole burden of inadequacy upon myself.

Closure is a process, not an event. Closure means that the person has come to terms with the situation (or is ready to come to terms with it). You don’t achieve closure the day of being dumped—rather, the person does through the various grief steps and finally reaches acceptance = and at that point closure is possible.

Closure is for the dumpee, not the dumper, and it seems to be more of a pschological turning point than anything of substance.

Sure, why not, it may help them in future.

I was dumped only once, and it was because I liked sex too much. Say what? We were like 20 years old. It was pretty funny.

@KNOWITALL I got dumped by the first girl I kissed because I didn’t pick up she wanted to get laid. I was 15 at the time.

It depends a lot on whether or not the other party actually wants closure… or wants listen to what you have to say once it’s clear they’re on the outs.
For a lot of folks it’s like falling off a cliff when the other says goodbye.

What do you mean by closure anyway?
If closure means being clear about what you want or need to change in your relationship, yes, I think that’s an excellent idea.

As far as I can tell, honesty, clarity and compassion are the hallmarks of the least painful breakups possible.
If you have shared some substantial time and experiences, that will always be true that you did. Might as well make the best of that.

^ By closure, I mean giving the person an explanation. Ideally, the end result is that the person knows and understands why it’s over.