How highly do you rate good manners today?

I hate it when I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone and they pull out their phone to read/send a text! It drives me up a wall. My friends to this a lot and normally I just stop talking until they’re done texting and then I just say “never mind” (but they never seem to get the hint). It bothers me more because I usually keep my phone on silent if I’m spending time with someone and I will not reach for it until I’m alone again out of respect for their time. I’ve been noticing this a lot lately at work, too. I’ll be in the process of talking to someone who came up to me for assistance and they will just pull out their phones and start texting/checking their Facebook accounts while I’m explaining something important to them…and these are grown-ups in their 40s and up I’m talking about! Don’t even get me started on the teenagers…

Edit: To answer your main question, I’d say that, in general, people are not as well-mannered as I remember them being when I was younger. However, I’ve noticed that it depends on a lot of factors, including but not limited to: social/financial status, geographical origin, and age. Although I get my fair share of poor-mannered people at work, I’ve noticed that a lot of parents are making a really good effort in teaching their kids to be respectful and well-mannered. For example, I see a lot parents making sure their kids always say please and thank-you while looking the person in the eyes, which I find really nice.

I rate good manners very highly, especially in today’s society when many people seem to be ready to launch into violence in speech and otherwise. Good manners are a shield against this, it’s an extra psychological layer hot heads need to ply through to before they pop. I’ve been reading the memoirs of Casanova and Cellini both written during a time when all men carried swords and could run you through without and afterthought just as Cellini did to an unfortunate jealous husband in a heated moment that changed his life forever. The manners in those days were almost Byzantine even with friends and I believe it was because people were so sensitive to insult and violent to their response to it.

Given that the prevalence of good manners seems to be much less than when I was younger and parents actively taught their children about what behaviours are considered good manners, I rate the behaviours of those (especially younger) people who exemplify good manners very highly. I tried to teach good manners to my now grown children. People have often remarked that my children seemed to have learned to practice these behaviours. I see that my grandchildren are also learning them.

Very, not many people have much anymore. Because I do have manners, I think sometimes people think my friends and I are snotty, but we’re very polite with each other, until we’re not- lol But we usually act appropriate in public more so than at our private homes.

I value practical good manners. That is, mannerisms that have a practical function and are not simply a marker of one being “well-mannered”.

I tend to not put much value into statements about the “decline of times” since people have been saying this for thousands of years and will continue to do so in the future. New technology, however, has created new means of being rude (especially in regards to cell phones and texting). Texting during a conversation or talking loudly on a cell phone in a restaurant or some other place I find very annoying.

Not that it is about me, but…
My dad had a lot of rough edges and many of those were transferred to me.
My mom, on the other hand was serious about etiquette, and that was also passed on to me.
As the place gets more crowded and more diverse, it is increasingly important that people control their impulses of self importance and solipsism and rudeness.
It is an interesting convergence that the more crowded and diverse the US becomes, the less politically acceptable it becomes to demand that people to get their self absorbed shit under control.
I believe, probably because my mother believed, that good manners offsets many social friction points.
But they generally are not there.
I have precisely zero respect for people who do not practice common rules of etiquette.

The answer to your question is-Thank you notes (or emails in a pinch) matter, saying please, thank you, excuse me, etc.also matters.

I run a business with heavy interpersonal connection with clients. If my people show any lack of courtesy towards anybody, not just clients, they are gone.
I do not associate socially with people who are discourteous.
Etc.

I value manners very highly.

I have quite good manners, unless my social anxiety interferes…then I can be quite awkward seeming (not necessarily bad mannered but, just, awkward).

Good manners to me:
The basics like please, welcome, thank you, etc.
Not texting/talking on the phone while visiting someone else.
Not interrupting others who are speaking.
Holding doors open for people, letting someone merge into traffic – no matter how busy…little gestures like that.
Smiling and conversing in a non-threatening manner (including body language).
Offering to help with something (like helping someone with groceries that is having some trouble).

Where I live, people tend to be pretty good with manners. It is so common, that if someone were to be ill-mannered, it would be very noticed by those around them. I’m not saying that we have no rude people around here. If it’s a rude person, it is commonly someone younger or someone who acts above everyone else.

There is this influx of entitlement these days. I think it is one of the main causes of rudeness (whether the rudeness is intended or not).

Once we are born, we are entitled to exist… the rest is just icing.

Good manners yes, stuffed shirts no.
I have impeccable manners when called for, I could charm the fins off of a shark, but, phoney graciousness is distasteful. Be genuine with good manners.

I don’t care if the person at the next table is talking on their phone or if the woman sitting next to me in the wiating room of tye doctor’s office is, but I do mind if the person I am with is on their phone.

I don’t need a formal note after a party, but it is a nice touch. I’d rather get that then have someine show up to my house with flowers when they come over.

Manners matter to me, but not so much that I am easily offended. There are different cutural norms around the country and in the world, and having very rigid rules about what is expected and proper can make you miserable. Etiquette and manners are supposed to help everyone feel comfortable, and I think that is a good reason for these sort of rules, that everyone is comfortable. The difficult part is not everyone knows the rules. I think don’t let it upset you if you can.

Some people where I live findit incredibly rude when a child does not address an adult with ma’am or sir. No wonder they think NY kids are rude and without manners.

I value manners very highly and try to practice what I preach. I do ok. Not perfect, but I keep trying.
Something simple for instance, If I hold a door open for a couple of people and one says “thank you” as they go in and the other just stares straight ahead as if they deserve to have the door held for them and I should be greatful for having the opportunity to do so, it is very hard not to mumble (loudly) “Asshole”. I know this is not mannerly and I do a fairly good job of controlling myself but sometimes…..

Manners are cool, when they are presented with an honest intent which complements their definition.
I mean if you’d rather say fuck you to me, then say fuck you, don’t say excuse me. Christ. I’m good with body language and voice tones, I can tell when you’re not being honest, haha.

Good manners is just a simple way to show respect for ourselves and each other as civilized people.

@Coloma I think there is a difference between social grace (manners) and charm. Sometimes over charming can be the mark of manipulators or sociopaths.

Good manners often follow trends too.

@Shippy Agreed. My charm is more along the lines of being easy to approach and humorous.
I have a great ability to put others at ease.

Oh, I don’t know. The decline of people practicing “good manners” used to annoy me greatly, but I don’t really expect it anymore. Truth be told, I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed a lot of people practicing good manners. This is probably a topic that’s been magnified due to the accessibility of forums that tend to shine a light on such things.