What should he do in this relationship problem? (Details inside)

…what?

There’s a lot of sadness and being upset that I’m confused about here.

It really doesn’t matter, though, because he needs to swallow his feelings. He’s a professor and she’s a student – and that’s how it should stay. His relationship with her should stay professional, which it obviously isn’t if people already suspect something is going on.

It is generally frowned upon for teachers to have relationships with students. There is an imbalance of power.

He could wait until after she leaves his class and ask her out.

Or he could just turn his sights to faculty members or other women. Perhaps he could join a club (one the caters to his interests: walking. history, etc.) where he could meet other eligible women.

He should exercise professionalism.

There should be no personal issues with students in his classroom. If personal issues arise, they should immediately be resolved with an official mediator present.

@livelaughlove21 Sadness and upset…he is a good teacher with a good personality. He wouldn’t want boys or any students look to him with disrespect, which in this case relates to a crush or affair. He getting upset is alright. But, why girls got upset is his question. I have no clues to this question.
@marinelife Yeah, may be he could talk with her after classes.

You’re hearing this story from the teacher’s mother? It sounds like something is getting lost (or perhaps added) in the translation. It doesn’t make any sense for him to feel like he “can’t match his level to hers” after his student gets an award. That makes the rest of the story sound even less true than it already does.

It sounds to me like his mother is creating drama in this story. I would take it with a grain of salt, and not try too hard to figure out the motives of people who probably are not acting as you’ve described.

I agree with @glacial. There is a very confusing picture here that does not seem to be a complete one, or at best, a very muddled one with added extras. This doesn’t help in this particular instance. I would recommend a re-write.
That said, the line should be drawn at the professionalism. That’s where it goes and that’s where it stays where education is concerned – though not everyone follows that.

Like others have said, there seems to be a lot missing from this account since it was received second-hand and apparently from the perspective of someone close to the professor.

How old are the parties involved? Is she over 18? Furthermore, is she an age-appropriate match for him? That’s open to interpretation I guess but you catch my drift. I would say given what little I know that he should act as professionally as possible and try to focus on attainable partners who won’t get him professionally or legally in trouble.

However if he really, really likes her and there’s no creepy Lolita stuff going on maybe he could ask her out when he’s done teaching her. But regardless, he should probably refer to the Uni’s code of conduct for guidance.

As a teacher it is his job to quell any feelings, or initiate any contact. He should go out more find people his own age, and forget about the child at school.

I think there is a cultural element we are missing that might give a clearer picture.

This sounds like a high school drama. I’m not sure you have all of the facts, since it is coming to you through the man’s mother.

The only thing that matters in this case is that the professor (your friend’s son) stays completely professional, and that involves not acting sad or weepy or lovey dovey in class. If he thinks the young lady has a crush on him and it is causing a problem, he should speak to his supervisors and ask them for counsel. If he thinks he has a crush on the young lady, he should do everything in his power not to act on it, or even let it show, especially not in the classroom or else he might end up suspended. After the class semester is over, he should talk with his supervisor to make sure that the young lady does not end up in his class again. In the meantime, he should have NO personal conversations with any of his students. The only conversations he should have must be about school work and the class subject. He should not, under any circumstances, discuss this situation in his class with either the boys or the girls. If he can’t elevate himself to the position of professor/adult/authority figure/mature person, he is likely to find himself fired.

@Kardamom I’m pretty sure the last thing any professor should or would do is seek counsel from fellow profs about a crush on a student.

@glacial I think the professor should definitely go to their own supervisor if they think the girl has a crush on them, to ask what should be done about it. He shouldn’t admit having a crush on her. I’m sure there are horny/romantic young girls in classes all the time, and sometimes they need to be transferred to other classrooms.

@Kardamom Ah – I misread what you wrote.

^^ That’s cool : )

This is a college and not a high school, right?

Yes, college and not a high school. I will try to get more information on this. In the meantime, let me update you on some of the things.

He feels she is having problems with the boys in the class; boys might be irritating her over the crush. How should he help her out? or just stand aside and watch the mean boys irritate her? In my opinion, he should take her side (when such mean boys are around); talk to her to resolve the issue. And, if this doesn’t work out well, call in a counselor.

Er… what? You actually think a prof should involve himself in what the his student’s classmates are doing and saying about his crush on her? I call BS on this entire story. This sounds like a schoolgirl’s fantasy to me. I think that you are the schoolgirl (and not a college one), and you want help play-acting your scenarios.