[NSFW] Was she telling a lie?
Today in the locker room, my friends and I were joking around. We were looking at a picture of a squatting work out plan that featured a woman’s butt. My friend said in response to the picture “The only people looking at this picture is guys masturbating.” As a joke, and knowing that my friends would understand my sense of humor, I remarked something along the lines of “Who says it’s only guys?” The joke passed smoothly just as I thought. It was received with the regular chuckle that most of my jokes get. But then, another friend said “I can honestly say that I have never masturbated in my life.” My immediate response was “Are you kidding?” This was followed by glaring looks from my friend and an awkward shift of topics. Later that same day I brought the occurance up to my boyfriend. He was just as befuddled as I was. He said she must have been lying. Maybe I would understand the need to lie about something like that if she was a very conservative or religious person but she’s not. She started experimenting with guys at a young age and was one of the first of my friends to start drinking. My boyfriend and I are both on the same page in that we acknowledge that we both masturbate regularly. We both understand that it has nothing to do with the quality of our relationship or sex life. I don’t understand how somebody so willing to openly admit to sleeping with some guys or being drunk at a party wouldn’t admit to something as common and natural as masturbation. I also don’t understand why she felt the need to go out of her way to say that. Are my boyfriend and I unusual? Is it just me that is unusual?
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The probability is quite high that she is lying.
Everybody lies.
It does strike me as rather strange that she would go out of her way to insist this. But what difference does it make either way? Why is it your business?
I’m looking at the tags you chose for this question. It does not necessarily mean your friend is “sex negative,” or some similar trendy phrase indicating repression, if she does not masturbate. Not everyone masturbates, whether by constraint or choice; not everyone feels the need to masturbate. Furthermore, some people are asexual or demisexual.
95% of people masturbate
5% of people are liars
There is no reason to think that she is lying. Not everyone masturbates.
Most people do, some people don’t.
A lot of people don’t care to talk about personal matters like masturbation. Or perhaps she’s one of those girl who thinks masturbation is dirty but sex is okay. Odd, and odd that she said anything.
There is no way I would have ever admitted it to anyone when I was 19 or under, I’m sure.
High School? She may not have figured it out yet.
@Dutchess_III I figured it out it elementary school. I know that’s uncommon, but its hard to imagine being sexually active yet not aware of what pleasure feels like.
I’ve known one person in my life who swears she has never masturbated. I don’t think she’s lying, either. In her case, she’s married and has children, so she’s clearly had sex, but masturbation seems ‘dirty’ to her.
If your friend is young, she may well be lying due to embarrassment. But she wasn’t asked directly, right? So why volunteer a lie? Maybe she’s just one of the very few who don’t do it, for whatever reason.
I was a very late bloomer and it just never occurred to me. Not everyone matures at the same rate or at the same time.
I don’t think she went out of her way to announce it…it was a part of the subject that was being discussed at the time.
Mother Theresa liked to “flick her bean”, the queen has been known to bury her fist in her velvet glove when it takes her fancy, but it’s not for everyone so who knows…or even cares.
This is also a standing conversation piece with a friend. We tend to ask the topic when out for drinks after work and a new person is there.
The topic is brought up as discussion because we like to see the new persons reaction.
He states that he has never masturbated. When anyone asks why or tries to call bullshit on him, he simply states “I have never had to”. We all think he is FOS, but we all believe he is lying.
I guess he likes stroking his ego in public.
I don’t know why she would lie about it.
I suspect she’s lying but the hidden implication seems to be that she’s saying “I don’t need to masturbate, I get enough sex.”
@blueiiznh Better than stroking something else in public, oh yeah, right, he doesn’t do that. lol
Who knows, sometimes the truth IS stranger than fiction.
Are there really people who don’t masturbate or is whoever said that joking? I seriously don’t know. Why wouldn’t you masturbate??!?!?!??!?!?!?
Another twist. Girls who are molested at a very young age tend to become sexually active young but it is not usually for pleasure. They tend to hate their bodies and really not be in tune with their sexuality. They just go through the motions because that’s what they have been groomed to do. Girls like this might not even want to think about what really is “down there” and could quite possibly be disgusted at the thought of touching themselves.
Molestation is more prevalent than most realize. This girls reaction to the idea makes me wonder if she could be a victim.
@Judi: Good point, but not only girls are molested.
@bookish1, I agree. Boys can’t ignore their genitals as much as girls can though.
@deni Not everyone does, its considered sinful for a lot of people who are religious.
That crossed my mind too @Judi. Sex is not always pleasurable, especially especially for girls who are just figuring it out, being “taught” by boys who haven’t a clue about anything, really, other than their own easy gratification.
But that aside, @Carinaponcho , my thoughts are that this is a totally high school thing. In HS it’s really important to “fit in,” and each of you are suddenly going “Am I the ‘weird’ one?” (You said above that your friend gave you a “glaring look,” (an indication of embarassment) then followed that with “Is it just me that is unusual?” referring to yourself.) Well, no fears. You both are perfectly normal. Just because one person’s experiences don’t match yours doesn’t mean that one of you is “unusual.”
Maybe. Maybe not. Is it really that important to know? People say the darndest things when they are uncomfortable. For many, or some, sex isn’t the easiest subject to talk about.
@Judi: What a creepy sentence. O_o
@deni Is it? Not in my area it’s not. Sex is still dirty here unless you’re married (sactified by marriage), and one of the reasons so many people turn away from God’s rules.
Missouri- Bible Belt, USA. Churches and bars on every corner – lol, take your pick.
@bookish1 just highlighted the discomfort we have about talking about sex! @Judi made the very valid point that “Boys can’t ignore their genitals as much as girls can.”.... @bookish1 called the comment creepy. It’s not. It’s true.
I haven’t. Since I was four. And I am neither religious, nor was I abused…
@notlookingforlove You masturbated when you were four years old? I think that’s pretty early to start. How do you remember that?
It might have been five… But I don’t think it’s unusual for young children to masturbate. You may not remember yourself, of course. A lot of people don’t. But read any book on child development – it’s pretty common. Anyway, I think it’s very possible your friend wasn’t lying. And as to ‘pretty young to start’ – the incident I remember (when I was aged about five) – was the last time ever. So you might say ‘pretty young to stop’. I’d agree with that. ;)
She probably got in a lot of trouble! Just doesn’t remember that part.
You! What other reason would you have had for stopping?
I didn’t get into trouble. Definitely not. Sure, I probably wouldn’t remember – but there is absolutely no way something like that would have gotten me in trouble with my parents or anyone in my life at that time. I don’t know why I stopped. But as some people posted, not everyone masturbates. I tried it, then I stopped. Never felt like a big deal.
For girls, masturbation is a rather touchy subject (pun intended). Your friend probably lied to project herself as morally superior to the other girls, but didn’t realize that they “knew” better. There’s nothing “unusual” about you or your boyfriend. You are both very normal, with normal sexual urges which cannot always be fulfilled as a couple.
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