How personal is your hair stylist?

I’ve had varying experiences with this; and for most of my life, I’ve stayed with a stylist for many years, so we were likely to develop a deep knowledge of each others’ personal lives. In fact, I was heart-broken when my stylist of 20 years chose to move across state with her husband rather than stay with me ;-)

But to your point, I am put off by stylists who do ask personal questions right out of the chute. I think some friendly banter is appropriate, but I’d rather be the one to start any round of actual questioning. Frankly, I wish they’d ask me questions about my prefences with my hair!

I’m a male who is nearly bald, so I probably don’t fit the demographic to whom you are posing the question…

I go into Supercuts and get whoever happens to be on duty. She doesn’t talk and neither do I.

That’s how it should be.

I love her. She knows my family (and is good friends with my sister), so it’s cool talking about personal stuff.

If I see someone new, when my hairdresser is not available, we tend to chat about all kinds of things. Personal stuff, too. I’m a very open person and like talking to people, so it works for me. It makes the experience more enjoyable.

The last lady that I saw asked me if I was married and had any kids. I told her, “no. I’m gay. “Eventually, I’d like to, though”. She then went on to tell me about a gay cousin of hers.

I told my hairdresser of many years about my separation, only to find out he told it all over the neighborhood. Now I don’t tell him much anymore but he keeps up a constant stream of chatter – much of it political and not to my liking.

I try to keep the conversation about them or on the surface.

Both of the women who do my hair have been friends for longer than they have been my hairdressers and so we have personal conversations that friends tend to have with no awkwardness. I wouldn’t go to anyone else.

I started seeing a new stylist last year, and I was struck at how good she was at picking up cues from me about whether or not to chat or ask certain types of questions. It was subtle, but I could tell that she was paying attention to my wishes, and I greatly appreciated it.

I’ve never stayed with a stylist who blathered away without any interest in how I answered or whether I even wanted to talk. I’ve encountered that a couple of times.

I am seeking a new hairdresser, since I moved and the old place raised their prices… it was worth it to drive there to someone I had gone to for over 5 years when the price was lower. I highly dislike empty chatter and small talk. I prefer to stay quiet. I’ve improved my social skills over the past decade, but I still don’t like it. I’ll deal with it, though, if the person has a clue what to do with my hair.

I have been going to my stylist for at least 13 years and the colorist has been with him for about 7 or 8, so they pretty much know my situation. Even if they didn’t and they asked, I would not say “It’s not your business.” I’d tell it. Details may or may not come as we got to know each other. I know their situations (he’s gay, she’s in a traditional family situation), where they live, etc.

I think the hairdressers make conversation to become friendly with clients, which is a good thing. I think if there’s a question that you don’t want to answer, there’s a better way to say it than “it’s not your business.” Still, I don’t find “are you married” to be offensive. Maybe that’s just me.

Sometimes when I go to get my hair done, I don’t feel like chatting, the lady colorist is always chatty and gets me in the mood, the man stylist can reciprocate and we’ll both be quiet, and maybe make just a little small talk.

Mercifully, I am in and out in 15 minutes since I come with clean, wet, conditioned hair and just have a 6-week trim. She will chat or not depending on my lead. If I close my eyes, she will shut up but it is innocuous. There is no one else in her little salon either, thank heavens. And the music, although annoying, is very low and generic.

I think I have encountered this in the past when I had a pedicure or something. I do understand it is trying to be friendly. But like a lot answered I’d rather not share my life with a stranger that I am paying to do a service. I don’t find it therapeutic like so many claim too. It’s just annoying really. I can get quite rude, so in future, I will use some of the great none verbal cues offered by some here. I guess for me it is my slow disengagement from society. I’m looking for an almost full one soon :)
@janbb I also had a similar experience with a hairdresser and realized too, that she also gossiped about clients that I knew to me. So I’d rather pass.

@Shippy: For me, it’s neither gossip nor therapy. It’s just pleasant chit-chat, as much or as little as I like.

I go to the little shop in town – a one woman operation. We know each other well and talk about all sorts of things. She’s been to my house so I could give her some lessons on how to use a computer, set up her first email account, FB account.
So, yeah, it’s very personal. I like it.

Very…because it’s me! Sometimes I let the wife take over, if she’s been very good.

@janbb That is just terrible behaviour! It makes me grateful that I never share a stylist with any of my friends.

@glacial Yeah – I was pretty pissed off and told him on my next visit.

@janbb He must give a damned good haircut for you to have even gone back. :)

@glacial Often it is good, plus inertia…..

I don’t enjoy chatty barbers.

As @gailcalled said, I just close my eyes. This usually stops him from chatting.

This can be dangerous though, as a couple of times I’ve fallen asleep in the chair.

@cookieman That requires even more trust than revealing personal information. :)

@glacial: Ha! True – it’s just that I can nod off anywhere. Once the eyes close, all bets are off.

I cut, dye, and style my own hair just so I don’t have to talk to a hairstylist.

@mambo Me to!!! but I am treating myself to a real cut and style soon loll. I also have done that to avoid them.

I got to supercuts and they don’t give a damn about me, and most of the time my hair shows that. I’ve gotten to the point where I would rather let it grow out wild, or buzz it all off and not even try to style it anymore.

I kind of want a stylist to have some sort of rapport with, but being male i have no idea where to start.

The guy who used to cut my hair is gay (aren’t they all?) so we would natter about what we’d been doing in the local gay village, which bars we liked etc. And he would entertain me with stories of his many (failed) relationships. Now I bought myself a set of clippers and I do my own hair at home, and I was just thinking the other day how much I miss our regular gossips.

We live in a small town so my hair stylist (actually barber) knows most of the people I know. I’m not there long. #2 clipper on the sides, #3 on the top and a little eyebrow trim and I’m out of there.

Back when I went to a barber it was a terrific classic guy’s place and the conversation all around was interesting. The barber wouldn’t nose into your business unless you brought it up. But some people did bring things up and it was fair game for everyone in the shop to comment and render opinions, etc. Then I moved and…

I’ve been cutting my own hair since 1983 and the only conversation is the voices in my head. Besides the convenience of cutting my own hair, I do that partly because it’s close to impossible to find another barber shop like that one.

She’s friendly and fairly personal with me. She’s met my kids and always asks about them. We’re friends on Facebook and often have very nice chats while I’m in her chair. I actually just went to see her today for a heavy condition and snip.

I get bored with most inane chatter and hairdressers seem to be masters of it. I don’t like sitting still, the whole time spent there could be so much better spent. So I get in and out as quickly as I can. I like the woman who I go to, but I doubt very much we would be great friends outside of the business so it sure isn’t going to happen inside.

My hair stylist is a family friend who preaches the gospel at me when I don’t really want to hear it. She asks me questions about my spirituality I don’t want to answer. It’s definately too personal for my taste.