[NSFW] What happens to kids who growup with unlimited access to Internet Porn?

Uh.. Hair on their palms and bad eyesight?

@majorrich Gee, dad. Can’t I just do it till I need glasses?

I already have bad eyesight.

only til you need corneal transplants then. lol

If they’re smart, they realize that the vast majority of it is fake as hell, and that the unwritten rules of Hetero Sex and Homo Sex are stupid and harmful.

Let’s go ask Michael Jacks…oh shit, never mind.

Brilliant talk.

I absolutely think it desensitizes many males to the fact, that body parts and sexual acts are much more than just states of arousal and yes, I do think, for some susceptible people that the fantasy world takes precedence over reality.
I am rather old fashioned in this sense, and, as a woman who was married to someone once upon a time that was a porn and strip club addict, yep….not a good thing in most cases.
It reduces the totality of a HUMAN to nothing more than their genitals and in doing so it revokes and degrades the whole person.
I have known many relationships that have suffered greatly and broken down over the mans obsession with porn.

I also think it is a pain and shame based industry and regardless of how acceptable and mainstream it has become in the last 30 years or so, there is far more damage occurring than many are aware of, the addiction to sexual arousal is a drug, no doubt about it and much has been written on this issue and it’s many potential negatives.

Frankly I don’t think it’s different from the superficial and dramatic representations of just about everything in mass media. Reality is deeper and lasts longer than an explosion, it just doesn’t sell soap.

You make a good point @dabbler
However, I do think that young kids subjected to sexually arousing materials before they are emotionally mature enough to know the difference between fantasy and reality can develop some really distorted views of women and sexuality.
Most of our habits and sexual orientations develop during the pre-teen and teen years. A time to certainly pay close attention to what our children are “exposed” to. :-)

I had unlimited internet access when I hit puberty, and I think I turned out more or less ok, there are lots of people who are far more messed up in the head than me. I say there is no harm in it.

@Coloma so was it the porn that destroyed the relationship? or was the relationship on the rocks and porn was the only way for these guys to satisfy their sexual needs? I can see how porn can potentially act as a safe outlet for unfulfilled sexual energy in a relationship. Here’s a hypothetical example, let’s say there’s a happily married couple who deeply love each other and everything is fine in their relationship except for the fact that husband has a foot fetish (I’ve never personally understood that one, but I think it’s pretty common). The wife doesn’t like her feet being the focus of the man’s sexual attention.

So what if the guy satisfies his unusual sexual fantasies through porn, and is able to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with his wife? The wife has the benefit of her sexual preferences being respected, the husband is still intimate with her and satisfies her needs, and there is no lingering resentment that she is denying him his sexual wants, or the resentment that she feels obligated to participate in sexual activities that she would rather avoid. In this hypothetical, porn seems like a win/win and a potential relationship saver, no?

@gorillapaws “The wife has the benefit of her sexual preferences being respected, the husband is still intimate with her and satisfies her needs, and there is no lingering resentment that she is denying him his sexual wants, or the resentment that she feels obligated to participate in sexual activities that she would rather avoid.”

While that hypothetical may seem perfect arrangement, there are a couple of problems.

1 – Purely hypothetical, doubtful to ever manifest in reality. Rarely at most, under unique circumstance.

2 – Even if it did manifest, the scenario requires objectifying both sex and love. People are reduced to tools, used for specific purposes. Why bother with a relationship at all? Hookers and family can provide all the necessary elements for sex and love.

Genuine intimacy however, can never be objectified, or purchased. It’s not something to turn on/off. Genuine intimacy is developed, built, and hard won. It touches on elements closer to trust, which is the foundation of higher emotions such as forgiveness and empathy, even grace… read love.

Thus, the qualifier of your hypothetical of “still intimate with her and satisfies her needs” is a stretch. His “intimacy” is concocted. Her “needs” are multi-dimensional.

@gorillapaws Like any addiction it has nothing to do with the partner. A lot of women blame themselves for their partners porn/fantasy issues but, as always, it comes from within.
Occasional porn viewing between partners is one thing, but those that have issues with it is entirely another. Lying about usage, hiding material, living a secret life obsessed with sexual fantasy, is a far cry from occasional “healthy” use of porn.

Make no mistake about it, the potential for addiction and abuse is huge.
Sexual fantasy and release is “used” as a way to self medicate against stress and anxiety just as alcohol and drugs are. One of the most common misconceptions is that the guy is unfulfilled or there is trouble in the relationship. Sure, sometimes that may be true, but more often than one would suspect it has little to do with relationship satisfaction and everything to do with compulsive behavior that is used as a poor coping mechanism, along with faulty beliefs and poor ability to communicate/express ones feeling, wants and needs in an intimate relationship.

Patrick Carnes was a pioneer in the sexual addiction realm, his book ” Out of the shadows” was an eye opener for many couples struggling with this issue. There are many levels to sexual addiction and there is nothing “harmless” about it.

@ragingloli There you go. @majorrich has your answer. :-)

Thanks and great answers to all who chimed in. I am not about to take issue with what any particular one said. I asked this because I am genuinely interested in your thoughts on it. Personally, I don’t access porn often because I don’t like what I see in it. But I didn’t stumble onto an unlimited source of it when I was 10 years old, either. I can’t even guess how having done so would have affected me. And I appreciate each of you contributing your thoughts on it.

@ETpro “I didn’t stumble onto an unlimited source of it when I was 10 years old”

I did, at 13. My best friend’s father was a photographer. He kept his Playboy/Penthouse collection in the basement darkroom. We’d sneak down there after school to get educated.

But that was in the day of ink. The porn came with a certain amount of discretion and shame built in. That forced us to respect what it was relative to the rest of our lives. Back then, had to either know someone who’s father had a subscription, or risk being seen entering the dirty book store downtown.

Now the pixels have replaced the ink. Free any time, with no mechanism in place to force respecting it in relation to ones full life experience. That which does not demand respect, shall be abused. That which is abused, becomes hurtful to the abuser. We should be wary of how such things tinker with our minds.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies “doubtful to ever manifest in reality”
I think the scenario seems very plausible, there are literally hundreds of millions of people viewing porn on the internet. I suspect that a significant percent are likely in a situation similar in many respects to the hypothetical scenario.

I think it’s perfectly plausible to have “genuine intimacy” with a partner and to view porn to satisfy sexual desires that fall outside the intimacy in that relationship.

@Coloma If you’re arguing that it’s possible for people to manifest an unhealthy addiction to porn, then I completely agree, but it’s also possible for people to get an unhealthy addiction to eating dirt. This to me says there’s something wrong with the person, and not necessarily with the addictive thing. With nearly all computer-using adult American males likely to have been a consumer of internet porn at some point, if not regular consumers, I think the fact that society hasn’t upended itself completely is a good indicator that it’s probably not that harmful on the whole.

Sure it can be devastating to a small percentage overall, but I think people susceptible to internet porn addiction would likely be just a susceptible to some other form of escape if porn wasn’t an option for them. I could be completely wrong here, but I suspect that your former marriage would probably have ended badly even in a parallel universe where the concept of porn never existed. Maybe he would have been a compulsive gambler, or a religious fanatic, or a sports junkie, a pot head, a car fanatic, a dirt eater etc. but people with addictive personalities tend to gravitate towards these similar patterns that involve escaping their problems by completely distracting their minds in some other activity (there’s a real selfishness to addiction). I personally have an acquaintance who got addicted to heroin. He went through rehab and came out a radical evangelical Christian on the other end. The latter is obviously better for his life, but I think the anecdote illustrates the nature of people prone to addiction.

The ultimate point here is that porn isn’t really the problem, just as dirt isn’t the problem for the practitioner of geophagy. I think porn is being scapegoated for many of societies problems. Portrayals of women (and men too) by the media, the sinking of middle class American wages making it harder and harder for 2 working parents to raise a family and just get by with all of the stress that brings are two issues that immediately spring to mind that are much more damaging to the average relationship than pixels representing nipples and vaginas.

@gorillapaws Of course, again you do present some valid points, and certainly the state of this world lends itself to many addictive and escapist behaviors from the sheer stress of survival in the modern world. However, as a woman in her 50’s who has seen the rise of the porn empire firsthand, from the advent of “Hustler” in the 70’s to the the home movie/VCR surge in the early 80’s that made home viewing of porn much more prevalent, all the way to strip clubs on every corner and the internet, well…it is a problem for many.
Also being a “victim” of my ex husbands issues and knowing many females who have been tremendously wounded by their mens porn issues, well….as I mentioned, it is far more damaging and prevalent than many are aware of.
Waaay back when, as teens, we would sneak out to the outskirts of town to catch a glimpse of the only porn drive-in theater in the area, the actors back in the day were just regular people and most “real” women were just as, if not more, attractive than the film stars.

Now days few real woman can compete with the enhanced and unrealistic versions of porn stars and the fantasy factor has quadrupled in this area.
Also in the last 30 years people with substance abuse issues proudly state their recovery and openly talk about their attendance at AA meetings etc. but…have you ever heard of someone talking about being a recovering sex addict?
Sexually compulsive behavior carries a huge shame stigma and most people would rather admit to being a Heroin addict than a “pervert”, “Creep”, etc.
Bottom line, sexual addiction is real and it is very damaging to those that live with it and their partners.

I just had a neighbor confide in my a few days ago that her sisters husband has these issues and her sister does not know what to do about it. I told her to give her Patrick Carnes book.
It is not a “more than/less than” thing, it is what it is, and for many it is something that does take over their lives and destroys families and relationships every bit as much as drugs and alcohol do.
I don’t need to convince anyone of these truths, I have lived them, and have seen the pain of many other women who deal with their husbands porn and sex addictions.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies & @gorillapaws If you’re talking sneaking a peak at a Playboy magazine as a teen, I’d have to say that is in a whole separate league from 10 year old boys (and maybe girls) watching guys throat-gag a woman with their cock till she pukes all over herself, the bitch slap her, calling her a filthy whore and slut before jerking themselves off and cumming all over her face while she looks up at them with adoration for being treated in such a manner.

Cindy Gallop has interesting points of view on her TED talk.

More about that at her web site Make Love Not Porn.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I’m a member. :-)

@ETpro Ugh! Agreed 10,000%!
Titillating glimpses of centerfolds is a far cry from depraved and violent portrayals of sexuality.