Do you have a single quality you require in an s/o or do you have a general list?

Drive. I have been with a redhead who broke my heart, a blond who broke my heart, and a brunette who broke my heart. And they were all frig-gen driven.

Before ANY physical consideration come intelligence and a sense of subtle humor.

Pretty sure I’ve answered a similar question before, but my answer doesn’t change. Mental agility and humor are the prime factors but physically… I love hands and defined shoulders/back muscles.

Compassion and intelligence teamed with a great sense of humour. Physically I have a thing for tall men and I love big, strong hands. Shoulders and nice butts are great too. In reality, if a guy had these physical traits and was a dickhead, I wouldn’t be interested.

Not being an asshole is a good start.

There’s also this hard-to-define, know-it-when-you-see-it thoughtfulness that some people develop after they’ve been through a lot of ups and downs and learned from them. Some people never learn, but these people just sort of radiate kindness and calmness, and have a well-developed inner world balanced by empathy for other people. This thoughtfulness is a quality I crave in a partner.

He has to be intelligent and fair-minded (not a racist/bigot/sexist) just to get a foot in the door. Beyond that, it’s anyone’s game. I don’t seem to have a physical type that I prefer…I’ve dated all different sorts of guys. It’s just a matter of chemistry, I think.

I don’t have a physical type. Even really any type. I think connection and a matching desire to want the same thing.

Now to have a connection. Well that depends on a lot of factors more about the full package then one trait. I wouldn’t go for a lazy guy, nor someone without intellect. I think kindness and thoughtfulness are wonderful but that wouldn’t be enough on its own either.

It would have to be some one who made me content or more fulfilled. Someone I could do the same for.

Intelligent, passionate about art/humanities/and/or science, compatible sense of humor, and very sensual is a must.
Being on the fem side and a top wouldn’t hurt either…

I was discussing this exact thing recently on another forum. I’ll copy & paste my answer from there:

1. I am happily partnered and have no intention of leaving him for anyone else. However I am polyamorous and open to “additional extras”.

2. You better not be homophobic, transphobic, racist or sexist. Right-wing politics and evangelical religious beliefs are not welcome. If you can’t handle a liberal atheist you can’t handle me.

3. Needy people need not apply; I don’t have the time, energy or emotional capacity to give you what you want. If you can’t bear to go a week without hearing from me, I’m not the right person for you.

4. I don’t embark on relationships with anyone who is not already a friend, so step one is to be the kind of person that I can be friends with. Once we have a friendship established, then maybe something else might develop naturally. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to.

5. I was going to add a rule for “women only” but I think I will amend that to “not masculine”. There are some male types, usually the more femme or androgynous-looking ones, that I do find hot. I’m just not that interested in anyone who looks more masculine than me.

6. No jealousy, no posessiveness. I need to be free to lead my own life, see my own friends and go where I want without fear or accusations. I do not want a partner who lives in my pocket 24/7 and I do not want to live similarly in theirs.

A single quality? A good sense of humor. Beyond that, I require attractiveness and kindness. And hard, bite-able biceps. :D

@WillWorkForChocolate I would have guessed you liked something else hard and bite-able?

Nope, gotta bite the biceps!

Intelligent, well educated and insanely funny are good for me.

I don’t give two hoots for looks, I have been very attracted to some seriously unattractive men. I once had a crush on my russian history tutor because he was so damned smart, I wasn’t even phased by the fact he had dribble hanging from his mouth most of the time!!! Chuckle. Having said that I do like guys with a bit of meat on their bones not fat but solid, skinny men might break. O

I’m skinny but I would never break. :)

@Adirondackwannabe haha nice to know you won’t break gives me confidence.