(nsfw)Is it normal for my husband to want me so much?

First, what he says today – from a distance – and what reality will evolve into – are two completely different things. Right now you are a distant dream that he thinks about, but he doesn’t really have reality to compare with. So I would take his boasts with a HUGE grain of salt.

Second, you don’t (and he doesn’t ) know if he can get it up 5 times a day. Again, what he says today and what he can actually do – are two different things.

Thirdly, while when you marry, you are supposed to love and honor him, that doesn’t mean that he gets to EVERYTHING and you have no say in the matter. You are a partner, not a slave. You have a choice and an opinion. You have needs and desires which need to be accepted by him, just as you accept his. If he is banging you 5 times a day, you will feel more like a whore than a wife, and that will make you resentful.

Fourthly, too much of ANYTHING (even ice cream) gets to be boring, Sec is fun because it isn’t every minute of every day. That makes it special. If you do it too much, neither of you will enjoy it.

Your possible husband needs to grow up and think like an adult.

Well… first, you can’t make a contract with your fiance now about how often to have sex, when you have no experience of sex. And if he’s pressuring you into making some sort of promise about that, he’s being ridiculous.

The two of you actually sound really young. How old are you?

And finally… if your fiance is making it crystal clear that his sex drive is such that he needs sex five times per day, every day (as if anyone even has time to do that and keep a job), what makes either of you think that he will remain faithful to you for two sex-free years before your wedding? Either he doesn’t need it as often as he says he does, or he is trying to justify cheating on you, to you or to himself.

There will proof a huge difference between now and then.

Sounds like hyperbole.

I’m more than a little concerned about a long distance international relationship over the internet. There are lots of sexual predators out there on the internet, and your post is throwing up all kinds of red flags. I just want to be sure you’re safe, and not get abducted and sold by sex traffickers or something like that. How old are you? How old is he? Did you first meet on the internet? or was it face-to-face in person first, then the internet? Please be careful.

@glacial he didn’t make me promise him anything. I made that promise myself, that I wouldn’t reject my husband. I’ve read a few posts on how depressed men become when their wife rejects them over and over. They feel like they don’t want to even initiate any thing.
I simply asked him how many times would he want it. He wasn’t forcing anything on me. He never made me promise anything or even brought up the question. I just wanted to gage where he stood. I just wanted to know if it is normal or even health for a male to want sex 5 times a day. I sorry that my post came off like he was forcing something on me. I wasn’t writing it in that intent. In fact he’s very considerate of me and wouldn’t want to do anything with me if I wasn’t feeling up to it. Also when we get married I will be in my mid-to-late 20’s and he will be late 20’s

@gorillapaws I met him online (not on a dating website!) It was just a normal website kind of like facebook but from a different country. I didn’t see his picture so when I first talked to him I didn’t know what he looked like, I just wanted a language exchange friend. We talked via webcam for a great amount of time. We were just friends for a long time before becoming a couple. I was the one in the beginning being more aggressive with the progression of our relationship not him. I also went to his country and met him in person, he was very respectful and honest and sweet. He’s not a sexual predator serial sex trafficker murder! His family has seen my photos my family has seen his. He’s planning to visit that states soon to visit my family and before that he will talk with them via webcam. Wow did my question really come off as seeming like my wonderful fiance to be was a SEX TRAFFICKER???...please don’t worry all signs are good. He’s not a crazy evil man.

@whitenoise yeah I suppose I shouldn’t worry to much.

Also no one has actually answered my question…which I’ll rephrase, “is it normal for a guy to want that much sex in a week? or even healthy?”

@popcornbabe Sure, it’s normal to want that much sex in a week. It’s just completely unrealistic to expect that much sex in a week, not only because your sex drive will likely not be as high, but also because it’s logistically unfeasible.

And for you to promise to fulfill his every desire so that he won’t be “depressed” makes you seem very naive. Has he promised never to ask you to have sex if you don’t want it? If not, why not? Aren’t your needs just as important as his? Isn’t he worried about you becoming “depressed”? If not, why not?

Hearing more of the details of your story makes it no less strange. If I were your parent, I would be very, very worried about you. @gorillapaws‘s concerns are completely reasonable. Be careful.

What type of culture do you live in? You’re marrying someone that lives in another country that you’ve hardly ever been around? That’s the first thing that struck me as strange. Is this common where you live?

I must agree with the others that what he says now will change when you’re together. If he’s a virgin now, this is especially true. You won’t be having sex 5 times a day for long, count on that.

Let me also say that a man wanting to have a lot of sex with you does not necessarily mean he loves you. Don’t confuse horniness with love.

“Put a penny in a jar, every time you have sex during the first year of marriage.
Then, beginning from your second year, take a penny out every time you do.”

Supposedly many people will never run out of pennies.

edit: only sex within your marriage counts!!!

Your fiance wants you right now with the all the passion of pent-up desire. The five times a day would not last all that long! Also it is a function of age (you don’t say what yours and his is, but I am betting that he is young).

Enjoy all that enthusiasm while it lasts. I promise you it will settle down.

It is way too early for you to be getting this upset about his projection of wanting to have sex with you five times a day. Think of it the way you might think of someone saying they want twelve kids; it sounds great in theory, the reality is likely to be much different. In the meantime just be happy that he finds you so desirable and don’t spend your time worrying about it.

It’s like when you’re really hungry and you say “man, I could eat a large pizza by myself”. You’ll most likely only eat half, and then you’ll be all “I don’t want to eat pizza ever again”, but then the next morning you wake up and you’re all “hey, pizza!”

If he’s that horny, how does he keep faithful to an out of town girl?

No question 35 times a week is above average.
But newlywed couples can be quite industrious.
No question it’s exciting to think about each other so much right now, in anticipation, and that someday soon your relationship will have a substantial new aspect, sex.

But I think that the extent to which you are willing to commit to a level of sexual frequency, you should also commit now to be willing to review that if you feel like it.
Having sex as much as you want will rock your tree, certainly, and I hope that you two blissfully integrate it’s power into your relationship.
If you keep communication and respect flowing along with your passion you have a powerful foundation for a partnership.

All I can say is, “Lube.”

Hi is either joking or a nut case.

He says 5 times a day but he will beg you to stop and give him a break after a few days. LOL
Mostly because he will have to go to work and sex saps a guys energy faster than an hour at the gym. At first you go at it like bunny rabbits but women find it easier to keep going than a guy can. Well unless sex to him means getting what he can and quickly and leaves you to take care of yourself. Its probably just on his mind a lot.