What is the "humane" way to eat a solid chocolate bunny?

The ears first, and I’ll explain why: it is incredibly inhumane to let your prey hear you chewing their body parts.

@WillWorkForChocolate Well, from the mouth of an expert! Thank you.

@WillWorkForChocolate Wow, I never thought of it that way and always had the “off with it’s head!” mentality. I shall now regard my chocolate bunnies with a much deeper regard for their feelings.

Probably the most humane thing is to snap the head off, then eat the ears at leisure. Though I agree that it’s tempting to eat the ears while the body is intact.

I have to, it’s a classic.

You smash it while it is still wrapped, then you eat the pieces.

Ears and head first. Preferably in one bite. After that the poor thing will have no awareness of what’s happening to him (or her. You can’t tell that, can you.) Just never look into its eyes or you may not be able to eat it at all. You can see the tears and look of distress as it realizes what is about to happen. And apologize before you chew.

Poke the eyes out first so he can’t see what is coming. Then the ears so he can’t hear what is going to happen next. After that, it’s pretty much any body part you want next.

First freeze it to < -20º F (use dry ice or liquid nitrogen if you can get it) and then drop-kick it against a wall. Pick up the pieces and enjoy.

Carefully unwrap it from the foil, leaving the foil intact as much as possible.

Eat the backside, leave the front intact

Carefully wrap it up again and act surprised when your sister finds out later.

I am all ears first, then I slowly eat the head, and then I work my way down to its little rabbit feet. The chocolate anesthetizes any pain I might feel for the bunny.

I wish they had Easter chocolate bunnies with like, jam in them or something, so that when you ate them, it would like like blood and guts was oozing out of em.

@Symbeline Yes! In the true spirit of Easter.

Or maybe they should have chocolote Jesuses!

@Symbeline I know what part I would bite off of him first!

Just suck it off, err…the chocolate I mean. At least then the thing will die with a smile on it’s face.

It is particularly inhumane to leave them overnight in a mutilated condition. Once started you have to finish them off.

Well, wait till they’re asleep then sneak up and CUT THEIR HEAD OFF WITH A HATCHET! Like a guillotine. Then enjoy.

@whitenoise when ever there was a box of chocolates in the house my sister used to eat a hole in the bottom to find out what was in them before she decided whether or not to eat them. If she didn’t like them, she’d put them back, apparently un-touched. It would be a difficult crime to detect. I thought it was kind of brilliant, myself!

@flutherother – beat me to it but my answer is do it quickly, eat the whole damned thing, doesn’t matter where you start as long as you get the whole job done with expedience! Then have a glass of mild and a nap.

You slam them wrist deep in fucking peanut butter.

pb is chocolate bunny novocaine/oxycontin. they don’t feel shit.

Start at the toes and slowly work your way up leaving the head for last so that it knows what is coming.

^^^ Cruel!

First, pray for god that he will forgive you. Then put the whole bunny into your mouth and chew quickly to make sure it’ll die immediately before it can feel any pain.

Bite its tail off. Fill its hollow body with peanuts. Then put it in the microwave and watch him burn.
He will die happy despite the pain and humiliation of melting, knowing that he is giving some peanuts a new lease of life.

Frozen bunny is best and ears first always, I have tried the smash it in the foil approach but it wasn’t as satisfying as being systematic.
And re: humane? Who needs to be humane this is their calling, the ultimate life experience for that bunny so no need to anthropomorphise it’s death experience. :)
We have been looking at ethics re: fair trade and now I can’t eat my favorite bunny anymore cos it’s not fair trade slave free chocolate Waaaaa!

When I was little I would agonize over eating the head because I didn’t want to “kill” the bunny.I would have 2 – 3 bunny heads on my desk by the end of the holidays. It was only later I realized I was not sparing them agony, but prolonging it.

Butt first

I like to pretend that I am Ozzie Osbourne and the rabbit is a bat. Quite satisfying….........

@keobooks… You had a desk when you were a little girl?

@Dutchess_III
You did not?
I had an entire office, complete with a hot secretary.

Shut your eyes and just enjoy the chocolate. Spare yourself the guilt.

And here’s a commentary.

Yesterday, I was driving along the highway, when I saw something hopping across the middle of the road. I swerved to avoid it, but unfortunately the thing jumped in front of my car and I hit it straight on. When I stopped and got out, it turned out there was a little basket next to a dead bunny and eggs and candy all over the place. I had hit and killed the Easter Bunny!!!!

I felt pretty sick, not only had I just killed a harmless animal, I also killed hapiness and joy for many children waiting for this bunny to come over and hide eggs in their backyard. On Easter Sunday!

Needless to say, I felt pretty upset, didn’t know what to do and was about to start crying. At that moment, a a beautiful blonde girl, driving down the same highway saw me and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” I explained, “It was an accident… I just hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. What should I do?”

The blonde beauty told me not to worry… she knew exactly what to do. She went to her car, opened the trunk and pulled out a spray can. Then, she walked over and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the limp, dead Bunny.

Miraculously, the little critter came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at us and hopped on down the road.
50 Yards away, the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road for another 50 yards, then, again, it turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!!!!

I was astonished and asked the girl, “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can?”
The girl smiled at me and turned the can around so that I could read the label.

It said: “Hair spray. Revives dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”