Was there anything I could have, or should have, done in this restaurant situation?

I’m not all that squeamish, so I probably would’ve been a tad annoyed by the sounds, but I’m sure I would’ve been able to eat. If not, I would’ve asked to be reseated in a subtle manner so the couple didn’t know it was because of them – whispering the request to the server, for instance. Like you said, they couldn’t help it.

I think I would have asked to change tables. I’m not sure why it would have hurt their feelings. I wouldn’t have my feelings hurt if someone changed seats in a restaurant because they didn’t want to sit next to someone who was taking an injection.

I don’t understand why you didn’t simply request to change tables.

@bookish1 An injection? Of what, insulin? Why the hell would that bother someone?

If you want to change tables, change tables. Surely better for all parties concerned than sitting there and stewing.

@livelaughlove21 : Yes, I have to take insulin with every meal. Some people are needle-phobic or squeamish. Sometimes my colleagues crack jokes because it makes them uncomfortable at the lunch table. I am quite needle-phobic myself and have to take 10 shots a day, so I have very little empathy for them, but intellectually I understand that some people find it disturbing to see.

@bookish1 You’re more empathetic than I would be. If someone switches tables around me because of a tiny needle, maybe they shouldn’t be looking into my booth and keep their wandering eyes to themselves. My feelings may not be hurt, but I’d think it was fucking stupid, regardless. And I’d probably make a scene a time or two, depending on how obvious they were about it.

@marinelife Cuz I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.
Seems like an injection could be done in the bathroom in only a few seconds….?

I agree with asking to be moved. The old folks might not have even noticed that you relocated and if they did they probably wouldn’t have related it to their respiratory issues. BTW, ewwwww!

I really would not want to use a sterile needle in a public restroom, that sounds really gross and unhygienic. I know that the booth at restaurant isn’t a sterile field either, but it HAS to be better then in a restroom surrounded by towel debris, and the scent of bodily waste. It is the same reason I refused to head to a public restroom to nurse my kids.

@Dutchess III: We all choose how we comport ourselves in public. Why should “their feelings” trump your very justifiable ones?

Because they didn’t have a choice. Only I did @gailcalled. They couldn’t help their illnesses.

@SuperMouse You didn’t head to the head to nurse the kids? :) I didn’t either. I just nursed them on the spot, where ever we were.

@livelaughlove21: Yes, I am pretty empathetic… But in this case, I would just be following my tendency not to make a scene. Once, when I was a little kid, a man in a restaurant came up and asked my mother not to give me a shot in public, because his little kids could see it. Talk about a lack of empathy!

@Dutchess_III : I absolutely will not go to the restroom to take an injection, for the reasons that @SuperMouse listed. I don’t have a choice about having to take injections if I want to keep living. Other people are secreting insulin in public all the time, they just don’t need a needle. Also, if you’ve never been in a men’s room, well… They are a whole other order of gross.

Oh, that’s right. I forgot that the men’s rooms are invariably FILTHY.

Well, couldn’t you give yourself the shot in the car before you go in? Does it have to be at the table? I don’t know about these things.

I guess I don’t see the problem.
I never hesitate to switch tables if I don’t like where I am sitting. Not that it happens a lot, but when it does, I just ask to switch. I don’t even feel the need to say why other than “I think I would like a different table, please”.

@Dutchess_III: The elderly couple did indeed have a choice of staying home.

Well…this is also a small town. Everybody knows everybody. I’m pretty sure we knew the people, just didn’t have their names off the top of my head. If I was in another town where nobody knew me, I would have switched. You know, if it happens again, I will switch.

@gailcalled They wanted to go out for breakfast.

@Dutchess_III : I have to estimate the quantity of carbohydrates in everything I eat, and calculate my dose accordingly, so doing it in advance would not work. I absolutely refuse to take life-saving medicine in private just because it might remind other people of their own mortality and make them uncomfortable. As I said above, I am scared of needles myself, and I have to take about 10 of them a day.

I would have asked for a doggie bag and quickly got out of there.

Thanks for the educashun, @bookish1. I wondered if it was something like that. I, for one, do not care if you take a shot at the table.
However, I don’t think that that being reminded of their own mortality is what offends them or makes them uncomfortable. Most of us have no idea what diabetes is, or does to the body. Seeing people poking things through their skin is kind of instinctively icky, I think. But I don’t care. Just don’t spew phlegm all over the table when you do it because then I WILL care!

Another thought….I just thought of this—you taking a shot is easy to ignore. Just look somewhere else for a second. But you can’t ignore the audible things that easily, especially when they go on and on and on and on…..

And I’m sorry you have to go through that so many times every day….

Your husband finished? Good on him, I’d have done the same thing. Were you kicking him under the table?

Ok I would have looked for another table or bouf

@Dutchess_III Most people have no idea that those with diabetes sometimes have to inject insulin? Diabetes is one of the most common health conditions out there. If people don’t know what it is, our education system needs a serious boost as far as health/biology classes go.

…as if it didn’t before, I know.

It sounds disgusting. On top of that I would have been afraid of catching whatever it was they had. They could have helped it. They didn’t have to inflict themselves on others when in that condition. I would have got up and left.

I have an idea what it is, @livelaughlove21. It has to do with sugar levels, and I know they need shots of insulin. But I don’t know much beyond that. Why should I? Do I need to know everything there is to know about arthritis, or the different cancers or all of the thousands of other illnesses out there? Do you?

Now, if someone came to my house for dinner and they were diabetic I would expect them to tell me what they can and can’t eat and I would be happy to accommodate them. I wouldn’t expect them to assume that I already know.

@flutherother I don’t think it was a communicable disease. It was probably cancer or emphysema.

Huh? I hardly ever pay attention to what is going on at other tables. If the noise really was bothering me, I wouldn’t hesitate to ask for a different table. I doubt any other guests would have any thoughts about why I wanted to move.

To spare their feelings, you could say in a loud voice “it’s too drafty here” or It’s too hot at this table”.

It was RIGHT BEHIND me, @YARNLADY. Literally inches away. Really hard to ignore. But…you know, they were pretty rude to bring their sick selves in there too, or to at least not request a more private area. On the other hand, they probably had no idea how they sounded to others, they’d been living with it for so long. I probably didn’t do them any favors by ignoring it.

@Dutchess_III You stated “Most of us have no idea what diabetes is, or does to the body” while you were discussing seeing someone at a restaurant giving themselves an injection. I didn’t say everyone should know exactly what occurs in the body of someone with diabetes. Knowing they need insulin is enough knowledge not to be confused if you see the person in the booth next to you with a needle. No one is talking about what types of food they can eat, etc.

@Dutchess_III : I certainly don’t expect everyone to understand diabetes, and am always pleasantly surprised when people know more than the common misconceptions. I am very happy to educate about it, as well. And I think that the “instinctive ickiness” that you say many people experience, is actually a subconscious response to being confronted with a fact that we try to ignore: that we are all made of meat and falling apart. Seeing someone with a disease is troubling to one’s ego when one don’t have a disease (right now). It’s the same reason that many people find physically disabled or deformed people disturbing…

@llivelaughlove21 And I said I wouldn’t have a problem with someone giving themselves an injection at a table. I would assume they have diabetes. I don’t need to know all the details.

We humans do have odd reactions to things, I know… What causes diabetes, @bookish1? I know I can look it up but I’d rather talk to you. I figure it was too much sugar or not enough, but what else, I don’t know. I had an uncle (on my husband’s side) who had diabetes. He stayed with us for a week. He couldn’t have butter or other fattening stuff. He was really over weight and a VERY stressful person to be around. Very blunt, very critical. He came through WWII in occupied Holland when he was a kid and it affected him profoundly. Infused him with hatred. And I don’t know what any of that has to do with anything, if any thing at all.

@Dutchess_III: There are two main types of diabetes (there’s also gestational and some other forms, but I’ve got enough to talk about already). “Too much sugar or not enough” are symptoms, not causes, of either disease. Type 1 (used to be called juvenile) is caused by the body’s inability to produce insulin, which is the hormone that allows our cells to use glucose molecules. Type 2 (used to be called adult-onset… but children are getting it now) is caused by the body’s resistance to insulin. Type 1’s always need insulin injections to survive, but Type 2s still make their own, and might not need injections depending on how advanced the disease is. Both diseases have a strong genetic component, but Type 1 is not triggered by lifestyle factors (overweight, diet, etc.), while Type 2 often is, but not always. Both conditions are quite manageable with proper treatment. But before insulin was discovered in the 1920s, Type 1 diabetics just died as children or teenagers :(

I went to dinner with my niece last night who has Downs Syndrome. I worried a little bit because she has a swallowing problem. For the last year she has only eaten liquids. She was eating her soup and spitting most of it out on a towel she brought with her.
Although we sat in the back room there were other people there that might have thought it was a bit gross. She tries to be discrete but it was obvious if you were looking at her.
I decided I didn’t care, but then again, she wasn’t making obnoxious noises or spraying mucous all over the place.
In your case I probably would have done what you did or ask for another table.

I’m with @bookish1. I’ve even asked for to be moved when unruly, very noisy kids are next to me. I’m paying to eat and relax, and anything that detracts from that is usually unacceptable to me. As for feelings, mine (and yours) are as just as important as anyone else’s in the retaurant, don’t you think?

I’ve requested that too, when I’m dealing with cognizant adults who should know better. But these were older people. Not sure how all together they were.

Next time I will ask for another table….if there is a next time. I hope there isn’t.

Having had a few colds in my own life, I most likely wouldn’t even have been bothered. I’m sure that I would have noticed – it’s not that I’m unobservant, just unconcerned – and ignored the sounds from the other table.

It was much more than a cold. Every thing was all phlegmy and slimy and gross. It would have been easier to ignore had we not been practically sharing a table.

I just got over a two-handkerchief-a-day-for-two-weeks-straight cold; I know from everything being phlegmy, slimy, gross, running, sneezing, hacking, snorting, coughing and miserable. I was out of work for three days, and I never take sick days. Still, beyond normal sympathy for those others who are ill, I ignore their symptoms and noises.

Plus, I just spent the last three months living with my very aged uncle, who has a lot of those symptoms even when he’s not “sick”, and we shared more than a few tables. I’m squeamish about some things, but noises, not so much.

It all comes down to being able to confront and accept. I’ve obviously got stuff of my own to work on, too.

But…did you go to a restaurateur during that time @CWOTUS?

Several.

That was rude.

I would have probably done the same as you and just stayed put although I doubt it would have put me off my food, like @livelaughlove21 I am not that squeamish but it would have irritated me.

I’d have moved, I do it all the time for many reasons, kids staring, people talking too loud on cell phones, being put by a bathroom. I don’t get to go out a lot and if I can’t have a good time, I’ll save my money and go home.

My favorite is little kids staring over the chairs picking their noses and eating it while I’m at a restaurant. What can you do except move really?!

I know, @KNOWITALL…a small part of the problem is, this is a small, small town. Everybody knows everybody. We probably knew them….well, anyway, it was good for my diet! :)

I would have asked to change tables. I would not think that they would know why or even that the waitress would need an explanation as to why. If you felt you wanted to explain, you could just up and change tables and then explain to the waitress when you were in the new location, out of the couple’s earshot.

I just wanna say, ewwww!

@KNOWITALL I love that you would move tables because kids were staring!!! I have often found kids staring to be creepy but I don’t have the guts to ask for a new table.

@KNOWITALL I’d probably tell the parents to control their discusting kids. :)

Ha ladies, it does take some ovaries, because usually they KNOW they’re rude and KNOW why you’re moving. It’s a little passive-aggressive, I realize that, but I wouldn’t insult them (or start a fight) by telling them how to parent their little monsters. :)

I do remember my mother telling me that if I couldn’t behave in a restaurant (I was four and under the table apparently) that we’d never go out to eat again. So I behaved ever since. So simple.

@KNOWITALL Ha! you could always handle the gawking kids the way Jim Carry did. in that movie “Me Myself and Irene”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWvJB-QP3RE

@woodcutter I’d give you two GAs for that if I could.

thx

@woodcutter I have before, I felt bad about myself later though. ;)

@KNOWITALL oh man that would have killed , to have seen that. Blow milk out my nose kind of kill.

@woodcutter Cocktails loosen me up…lol

Good to know

Kids staring…The Trick…stare right back, only go very, very still, and put a lot of angry, violent anger in your heart. It shows through your eyes. I scared the livin’ crap out of one REALLY bratty kid who was in our office with just a look. But she became my best friend soon after, because she decided she wanted to behave as long as I was around and I happen to really, really like kids, and they sense that, too. Kids WANT to behave, I think. But, if the only way they can get attention is to be bratty, then that’s what they do.